20 Marriage Tips - WF's thoughts?

[Michael_]

Been seeing this article make its way around Facebook and other places. Curious to see what WF's community thinks:

20 Awesome Marriage Tips From a Recently Divorced Man

 

[drave]

i'd wager that wasn't written by a man at all.

 

[Andrew Scherer]

^^^^^

 

[Michael_]

i'd wager that wasn't written by a man at all.

Either way, it's kind of crazy if that's the expectations of western women, or if that's what men think are their expectations, don't you think?

 

[SirKonstantine]

"BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY" and "OWN HER HEART" were the only things I understood.

 

[BabyGotBacklink]

Hard to read that ughhhhhhhhhh

My version:

-Promise we will never live with your mother.
-Promise to not be a dick and to apologize if you slip.
-Promise to hold a job and pay at least your half of the bills.
-Promise if you make babies with me you will be a good dad, otherwise no kids.
-Promise you will carry heavy stuff, fix things or in the event you are unable you will pay to have this done.
-Promise that we never argue in public.
-Promise not to be a lazy fuck in bed.

That's it... not to hard amiright?

 

[blureach]

That list is like telling someone to be charismatic and rattling off a few things that make you charismatic. Not going to happen for the average bear.

The only thing I take away from this is just put effort into the relationship.

 

[JarredLv]

Stopped reading at this one

NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU.

Okay buddy.

 

[dsm56]

Relationships are kind of like workouts, everyone seems to be an expert and has really strong opinions on what works, and then ends up being a fat fuck. Very congruent.

 

[Veritas]

YALL don't want to hear what I have to say about this. I am a strong believer that if you have to sacrifice to be with someone, then get out asap, in the long run, you will live a happier life just being single, enjoying the DIAMONDS on your neck.

end rant.

 

[dsm56]

YALL don't want to hear what I have to say about this.

So why post it?

 

[AdamC]

At least use the right icon...

 

[Michael_]

At least use the right icon...

What? I didn't write that crap.

 

[Dwight Schrute]

Just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. My advice:

- Don't go to bed angry
- Don't take yourself so seriously
- Go on dates often
- Have your own hobbies/interests. Time apart from one another is healthy
- Don't stop "courting her" AKA - make her feel wanted, take care of yourself, shower, shave, dress well
- Think before you speak
- Choose your battles
- Don't be selfish during sex
- Don't be an asshole

 

[JakeStratham]

How many reasons can you come up with for marrying? What does marriage offer that a monogamous life spent together does not offer?

To be sure, there are a few valid reasons to marry, such as security, access to assets (not necessarily the same as security), and hospital visitation rights. Health insurance used to be a factor, but that's less of an issue today.

I suspect few men marry for any of those reasons. So, are there other (logical) reasons for marrying? You certainly don't need to do so in order to have sex, have kids, and live together.

Any of you married guys want to offer your reasons?

 

[JakeStratham]

My version:

-Promise we will never live with your mother.

I promise you will never have to live with my mother. If she grows ill, I may choose to live and care for her.

Promise to not be a dick and to apologize if you slip.

Define dick.

I have learned that men become "dicks" whenever they do or say something women dislike. They might point out facts and become dicks. They may look at other women and become dicks. They may express useful criticism and become dicks. They may express a desire to go golfing with friends rather than attend a cousin's baby shower and become dicks. They may agree with an individual that women "have a problem with" and become dicks.

Even the word "slip" is subjective.

I will apologize if I betray your trust or cause you physical injury.

Promise to hold a job...

No.

...and pay at least your half of the bills.

Of course.

Promise if you make babies with me you will be a good dad...

No. I may be a horrible dad.

... otherwise no kids.

Sounds good. Can I get that in writing?

Promise you will carry heavy stuff, fix things or in the event you are unable you will pay to have this done.

Absolutely not. I am no one's pack mule, least of all yours. If something breaks, I promise to pay half of the repair cost or put in half the effort toward fixing it. If you want something heavy moved, move it yourself or hire someone.

Promise that we never argue in public.

No problem. But if you make a critical comment that warrants a response, I will deliver a reasoned response at that time.

Promise not to be a lazy fuck in bed.

I will respond with an excerpt from an interview Roger Ebert did with George Burns and Walter Matthau.

"I heard there's a book out that says Hugh Hefner has had two thousand women in twenty years," Matthau said.

"Two thousand?" said Burns.

"That's right."

"That works out to one thousand girls every ten years."

"That's right."

"A hundred girls a year. A different girl every three or four nights." He studied his cigar.

"Hefner has to be a very unhappy man," Matthau said.

"That's easy, that many girls," Burns said. "It's easy to do with two thousand different girls. What's hard is two thousand times with your wife."

 

[boatBurner]

Coming up on 5 years married, and still no sage wisdom.

I think the best thing you can do to set yourself up for success is to not marry a douchebag. That won't guarantee anything, but it's a start.

 

[chigga102]

Lol a divorced man giving advice on how to have a long happy marriage... Thats like me giving a chick advice on what to expect during childbirth.

 

[Michael_]

....

 

[BabyGotBacklink]

Ahhh Jake. But I never said what I was offering in return did I?

-I promise to support you in caring for your elderly parents, they will be living with us not us with them (there is a difference)

-I promise I will always want to work (so please don't ask me not to)

- I promise to be responsible for the birth control. I promise to do everything humanly possible not to have kids if we aren't planning on it.

- I promise to be fiercely loyal, thick and thin and help you bury the body if need be.

- I promise that in exchange for you taking care of/paying for the heavy lifting, the yard work and the car maintenence that I will take care of household matters either by doing them myself or paying for them. (cooking and cleaning, and yes it's being outsourced fyi)

-I promise to be happy to have some sort of sex with you at least 6 days a week barring serious illness.

-I promise to shave my legs and not be lazy about my appearance.

-I promise to let everyone think you wear the pants

Sounds fair right?