“Let's sell everything we own and spend the summer road tripping,” I suggest to my wife.
Shockingly, instead of having me hauled away to the loony bin, she said yes.
In a few days, after my lease is up, we'll be spending four months touring the country with our two toddlers. We're gonna be doing touristy shit all day, and camping at national parks. Because of that, I won't have a reliable Internet connection 24/7. So I'd prefer to line up some projects, crank them out after the kids go to bed, then email them out when I'm at Starbucks getting my triple tall latte. So yeah, this arrangement would be beneficial for me and my family on this Griswold-esque vacation (minus the daughter issues) and I'm going to make it beneficial for you, too.
I don't write content. If you want something to use on your link wheels or article submissions, I'm not the guy for you. There's plenty of churn and burn content writers here (and some damn nice content spinners on the market as well). I write well-crafted sales messages that convert like a motherfucker.
… I'm talking the kind of copy that stops you in your tracks as you head for the back button, grabs you by the balls like a pr0n star at a bukkake shoot, slaps you upside the head and makes you ask yourself, while your subconscious has one hand in your pants, digging for your wallet, "Did I just read that?" "Yeah, you did. And it was really fucking good. Now OBEY one simple rule!"
If you want to squeeze more money out of your marketing efforts, without increasing traffic, ad spend or anything else, my copy will make the difference. It's a hell of lot easier to increase your conversions tenfold than it is to get 10x the traffic (cheaper too!). Well, it's easier if you know what I know.
I can make that claim because... let's face it... you guys don't know direct marketing the way I do. That's not a dig on you guys, it's just fact. You've focused on driving traffic with paper clique and black hat SEO... and coding up automated scraper bots and massive database sites for your SEO empires. Meanwhile, I've spent my time eating, breathing and sleeping direct response copywriting. Mastering the kind of skills that would give all you guys who ate up Ca$hvertising a raging hard on. Ca$hvertising is the short bus of Direct Marketing to a proficient copywriter who has studied guys like Caples, Hopkins, Schwartz, Collier and Halbert. Special Olympics style stuff. Arguing politics in STS type remedial crap. In short, quit wasting crap copy on valuable visitors and let's get your sites making sales, collecting opt-ins and driving leads.
It makes perfect sense to bring both areas of expertise together and be even more profitable than you could be on your own.
What kinds of copy do Gay Webmasters need?
For obvious reasons *cough*FTC*cough* many of us are looking for something more stable than the latest rebill. Whether that's white-labeling tangible goods, peddling ebooks or doing local lead gen, the point is building assets that keep paying you long into the future.
But the true asset in any of those is the list. So instead of throwing the traffic that doesn't convert into sales right away in the trash, steal a page from those CPA offers you've been pushing and squeeze an email address out of them.
Get them to sign up by offering them a free report (really nothing more than a sales letter in disguise), then drip emails on them that agitate their problem and position your offer as the only reasonable solution. It's a really simple psychological process if you know how to do it, and luckily for you, I do.
Since you're a sharp bunch, you already see what I'm getting at. I want to write the copy for those squeeze pages, free reports and emails. You can hire me for any individual piece (and I'm open to that), but the funnel will be much more effective if the copy is cohesive from beginning to end.
I've been hanging around Wickedfire for over two years, but this is my first time offering my services. Couple that with the fact that I'm not going to show samples of my work, and at least the first few of you to hire me will likely be pretty hesitant. So I'm pairing my offer with a fucking bulletproof guarantee.
If my copy doesn't convert better than what you're running with now, I'll rework it until it does. If you're having me write for a new, untested project, I'll work with you until it's profitable.
My expectation for you is that you know what the fuck you're doing. I don't need to babysit someone throwing a hail Mary because they lost their job yesterday and are three months behind in rent already. You sir, need to get your ass down to Micky D's and start flipping some burgers. Come back when you're not three facepalms fail.
As incentive to sign up, here are my rates for the above mentioned projects through the end of May:
For the first three orders, I'll offer a 50% discount to mods and established members. I have no desire to be fucked around with by some asshole like that Hundred Proof dick that just got banned.
If you're ready to get started, shoot me a PM or hit me up on AIM. We'll make sure I'm a fit for your project and go from there.
p.s. The types of projects I've already mentioned aren't the only sort I'm capable of. If you've got other work you think I'd be a fit for, let's talk.
p.p.s. Despite what I said about mods and established members, I'm open to working with members who have a low post count because they work more than they post. Just don't waste my time, and I won't waste yours.
* Since the emphasis is on writing copy that converts, and not just creating filler fluff to feed Google, the focus shouldn't be on word count. I'm not going to write anorexic pieces, but if you're hung up on how many cents per word I'm costing you, we're probably not meant to work together.
** Additional emails available for $20 per additional, or buy in sets of 7 for above price.
Shockingly, instead of having me hauled away to the loony bin, she said yes.
In a few days, after my lease is up, we'll be spending four months touring the country with our two toddlers. We're gonna be doing touristy shit all day, and camping at national parks. Because of that, I won't have a reliable Internet connection 24/7. So I'd prefer to line up some projects, crank them out after the kids go to bed, then email them out when I'm at Starbucks getting my triple tall latte. So yeah, this arrangement would be beneficial for me and my family on this Griswold-esque vacation (minus the daughter issues) and I'm going to make it beneficial for you, too.
I don't write content. If you want something to use on your link wheels or article submissions, I'm not the guy for you. There's plenty of churn and burn content writers here (and some damn nice content spinners on the market as well). I write well-crafted sales messages that convert like a motherfucker.
… I'm talking the kind of copy that stops you in your tracks as you head for the back button, grabs you by the balls like a pr0n star at a bukkake shoot, slaps you upside the head and makes you ask yourself, while your subconscious has one hand in your pants, digging for your wallet, "Did I just read that?" "Yeah, you did. And it was really fucking good. Now OBEY one simple rule!"
If you want to squeeze more money out of your marketing efforts, without increasing traffic, ad spend or anything else, my copy will make the difference. It's a hell of lot easier to increase your conversions tenfold than it is to get 10x the traffic (cheaper too!). Well, it's easier if you know what I know.
I can make that claim because... let's face it... you guys don't know direct marketing the way I do. That's not a dig on you guys, it's just fact. You've focused on driving traffic with paper clique and black hat SEO... and coding up automated scraper bots and massive database sites for your SEO empires. Meanwhile, I've spent my time eating, breathing and sleeping direct response copywriting. Mastering the kind of skills that would give all you guys who ate up Ca$hvertising a raging hard on. Ca$hvertising is the short bus of Direct Marketing to a proficient copywriter who has studied guys like Caples, Hopkins, Schwartz, Collier and Halbert. Special Olympics style stuff. Arguing politics in STS type remedial crap. In short, quit wasting crap copy on valuable visitors and let's get your sites making sales, collecting opt-ins and driving leads.
It makes perfect sense to bring both areas of expertise together and be even more profitable than you could be on your own.
What kinds of copy do Gay Webmasters need?
For obvious reasons *cough*FTC*cough* many of us are looking for something more stable than the latest rebill. Whether that's white-labeling tangible goods, peddling ebooks or doing local lead gen, the point is building assets that keep paying you long into the future.
But the true asset in any of those is the list. So instead of throwing the traffic that doesn't convert into sales right away in the trash, steal a page from those CPA offers you've been pushing and squeeze an email address out of them.
Get them to sign up by offering them a free report (really nothing more than a sales letter in disguise), then drip emails on them that agitate their problem and position your offer as the only reasonable solution. It's a really simple psychological process if you know how to do it, and luckily for you, I do.
Since you're a sharp bunch, you already see what I'm getting at. I want to write the copy for those squeeze pages, free reports and emails. You can hire me for any individual piece (and I'm open to that), but the funnel will be much more effective if the copy is cohesive from beginning to end.
I've been hanging around Wickedfire for over two years, but this is my first time offering my services. Couple that with the fact that I'm not going to show samples of my work, and at least the first few of you to hire me will likely be pretty hesitant. So I'm pairing my offer with a fucking bulletproof guarantee.
If my copy doesn't convert better than what you're running with now, I'll rework it until it does. If you're having me write for a new, untested project, I'll work with you until it's profitable.
My expectation for you is that you know what the fuck you're doing. I don't need to babysit someone throwing a hail Mary because they lost their job yesterday and are three months behind in rent already. You sir, need to get your ass down to Micky D's and start flipping some burgers. Come back when you're not three facepalms fail.
As incentive to sign up, here are my rates for the above mentioned projects through the end of May:
- Squeeze Page - $75
- Free Report* - $25 per page
- Series of 7 Autoresponder Emails** - $130
For the first three orders, I'll offer a 50% discount to mods and established members. I have no desire to be fucked around with by some asshole like that Hundred Proof dick that just got banned.
If you're ready to get started, shoot me a PM or hit me up on AIM. We'll make sure I'm a fit for your project and go from there.
p.s. The types of projects I've already mentioned aren't the only sort I'm capable of. If you've got other work you think I'd be a fit for, let's talk.
p.p.s. Despite what I said about mods and established members, I'm open to working with members who have a low post count because they work more than they post. Just don't waste my time, and I won't waste yours.
* Since the emphasis is on writing copy that converts, and not just creating filler fluff to feed Google, the focus shouldn't be on word count. I'm not going to write anorexic pieces, but if you're hung up on how many cents per word I'm costing you, we're probably not meant to work together.
** Additional emails available for $20 per additional, or buy in sets of 7 for above price.
