CrAzY Out-of-the-Box Ideas needed Winner gets 10$
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release a fake press release saying a local kid at a presidential conference said a bad racist joke when Barack Obama walked up to speak and upset a ton of people and the conference got delayed. When asked about it, he said he read it on your site.
Depends how long your willing to wait for that traffic, if you want organic traffic and your willing to wait a month or so for your site to get indexed for some decent keywords then pull out some minor blackhat shit and increase your backlink count, don't go crazy with it just do it enough to score you an additional 500 backlinks or so then cut that method off.
From their get a hold of Kemesh (Sorry if its mis-spelt) and pay him $20 bucks to submit your site to 300 directories and that will score you some more backlinks, make sure that all your backlinks have the anchor text of the keyword your trying to rank for.
But before all of that do a bit of keyword research for related terms, so if you want to rank for super comedy special or something stupid run over to overture and make sure it get 1000 or more searches per month, then see how many backlinks each of those first 5 to 8 sites have, if they are under 1000 links then bang you can easily score a top 10 position inside of a month, with 1000+ additional searches per month you should be scoring easily an extra 300 Unique visitors per day.
Now 300 to you might not seem like much but do a bit of extra keyword research to find an easy to hack term that gets more searches and increase your visitor count that way.
Or is this still thinking too much inside of the box?......hmm lets see here......
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Got it, You could always just do everything possible, submit each page to digg, reddit, stumble upon, and any other similar social networking site like flurl or whatever, then do the keyword shit like I described above.........No thats still too much inside of the box thinking...........hmmm..........
Ahh now I've got it.....All you need to do is take out some offline newspaper advertisements, get a TV commercial, higher some PR people, suck some CNN and every other major newstations cock and get your ass featured in a story, or find a reporter then kidnap that mother fucker, then send in a randsom note saying 1 Million people must visit my website inside of 2 weeks and I'll let him go home safe, otherwise I'll send him back in little pieces...............
Now that sounds easy enough but don't fuck up the kidnapping, make sure the reporter actually works for a major player like CNN and make sure they are high up in the company, actually fuck kidnapping the reporter, take the damb CEO that will stur up some attention, then plaster your website URL all over his nice shinny suit and record your randsom video, also make sure to embed your website URL into the kidnapping video so when they show it on the news everyone will be like WTF is this serious or is this a joke because thats a comedy website, see the irony in that little set up.
EDIT: Oh shit I almost forgot once the randsom video is out their make sure you upload it to YouTube and shit as well, even submit it to Digg I bet that will easily pull in another 100,000 viewers forsure, hmmmm one last thing too would work really well is if you uploaded that kidnapping video to your comedy site to really fuck with people, thats viral cause everyone will be like what the fuck comedy, kidnapping, real or not real.
Then down the road people will remember because they'll just be sitting around talking some shit with their friends and one will be like hey you remember awhile back that guy that scored HUGE profits because he had a sweet ass kidnapping set-up but no one could figure out if it was real or not because it was created in such a fucked up and funny manner, plus the original video was on his Comedy website.
Now if that isn't thinking outside of the box I don't know what is.
From their get a hold of Kemesh (Sorry if its mis-spelt) and pay him $20 bucks to submit your site to 300 directories and that will score you some more backlinks, make sure that all your backlinks have the anchor text of the keyword your trying to rank for.
But before all of that do a bit of keyword research for related terms, so if you want to rank for super comedy special or something stupid run over to overture and make sure it get 1000 or more searches per month, then see how many backlinks each of those first 5 to 8 sites have, if they are under 1000 links then bang you can easily score a top 10 position inside of a month, with 1000+ additional searches per month you should be scoring easily an extra 300 Unique visitors per day.
Now 300 to you might not seem like much but do a bit of extra keyword research to find an easy to hack term that gets more searches and increase your visitor count that way.
Or is this still thinking too much inside of the box?......hmm lets see here......
...............................
.........................
..................
...........
......
...
Got it, You could always just do everything possible, submit each page to digg, reddit, stumble upon, and any other similar social networking site like flurl or whatever, then do the keyword shit like I described above.........No thats still too much inside of the box thinking...........hmmm..........
Ahh now I've got it.....All you need to do is take out some offline newspaper advertisements, get a TV commercial, higher some PR people, suck some CNN and every other major newstations cock and get your ass featured in a story, or find a reporter then kidnap that mother fucker, then send in a randsom note saying 1 Million people must visit my website inside of 2 weeks and I'll let him go home safe, otherwise I'll send him back in little pieces...............
Now that sounds easy enough but don't fuck up the kidnapping, make sure the reporter actually works for a major player like CNN and make sure they are high up in the company, actually fuck kidnapping the reporter, take the damb CEO that will stur up some attention, then plaster your website URL all over his nice shinny suit and record your randsom video, also make sure to embed your website URL into the kidnapping video so when they show it on the news everyone will be like WTF is this serious or is this a joke because thats a comedy website, see the irony in that little set up.
EDIT: Oh shit I almost forgot once the randsom video is out their make sure you upload it to YouTube and shit as well, even submit it to Digg I bet that will easily pull in another 100,000 viewers forsure, hmmmm one last thing too would work really well is if you uploaded that kidnapping video to your comedy site to really fuck with people, thats viral cause everyone will be like what the fuck comedy, kidnapping, real or not real.
Then down the road people will remember because they'll just be sitting around talking some shit with their friends and one will be like hey you remember awhile back that guy that scored HUGE profits because he had a sweet ass kidnapping set-up but no one could figure out if it was real or not because it was created in such a fucked up and funny manner, plus the original video was on his Comedy website.
Now if that isn't thinking outside of the box I don't know what is.
Sounds like a good viral marketing video to be made.. someone dying of laughter, or along those lines.
K, a few more but so far you've got my bid for #1
Make a countdown to when you're going to do something crazy and messed up and post it everywhere.
"I'm 5 days I'm going to jump from a building, sping off a trampoline, and do a backflip onto the hood of my car, all while squeezing my girlfriends tits".
Bet your ass that'd pull in traffic.
"I'm 5 days I'm going to jump from a building, sping off a trampoline, and do a backflip onto the hood of my car, all while squeezing my girlfriends tits".
Bet your ass that'd pull in traffic.
Get on top of a building, take a big banner with your web address on it. Call into the police and all the media outlets and say you are going to jump.
When everyone shows up sprawl the banner so everyone can see it....like in those stupid "truth" anti-smoking commercials. This should give you some publicity.
Just be sure to not jump...unless you really want to kill yourself.
When everyone shows up sprawl the banner so everyone can see it....like in those stupid "truth" anti-smoking commercials. This should give you some publicity.
Just be sure to not jump...unless you really want to kill yourself.
Why not do some phony phone calls or other pranks on EXISTING comedians and run press that there's a new comedy website that's targeting these guys and starting a comedy war.
To make it funnier, pick out a select group of comedians (old, black, white, fat, etc.) and build your campaign around that.
You could always just fake the conversations if you're too pussy to actually prank the comedians.
EDIT:
OR...
You can do what Howard Stern used to do and call in to like Larry King Live and (if your site is easy to remember) plug yourself as part of your conversation with Larry.
Really, you can do that with ANY live broadcast.
To make it funnier, pick out a select group of comedians (old, black, white, fat, etc.) and build your campaign around that.
You could always just fake the conversations if you're too pussy to actually prank the comedians.
EDIT:
OR...
You can do what Howard Stern used to do and call in to like Larry King Live and (if your site is easy to remember) plug yourself as part of your conversation with Larry.
Really, you can do that with ANY live broadcast.
I just wrote a bunch and then deleted it. This could really kick ass. Find some local businesses, whether restaurants, barbers, doctors offices, anywhere that has little "mint dishes" or something at the front.
Have specially made fortune cookies with funny jokes and your web address. Ask these business owners if you can provide them with this service for free and put fortune cookies at the front for their customers.
You'd have to provide them with a list of all the jokes, so they know their customers wouldnt get offended. And you might have to change the name to "Jokester Cookies" since they aren't fortunes.
Have specially made fortune cookies with funny jokes and your web address. Ask these business owners if you can provide them with this service for free and put fortune cookies at the front for their customers.
You'd have to provide them with a list of all the jokes, so they know their customers wouldnt get offended. And you might have to change the name to "Jokester Cookies" since they aren't fortunes.
haha maybe........ actually I haven't done it before but sounds like something that could be done.
I think most "live" broadcasts these days are running on a 10 second delay to prevent things like that. It gives them time to bleep stuff out, like when callers accidently let an F bomb drop. Haha.
good fuckin god aequetis, you write the longest fucking posts, please include a table of contents.
haha sorry but when the thoughts start flowing the fingers don't stop typing, this is about the time I should be starting my personal blog.......yeah surprising I know, I still don't have one.
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