Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads

[acemenace]

40-ish................................49.
Adventurous.....................Slept with everyone.
Athletic...............................No breasts.
Average looking....................Moooo.
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................On medication.
Feminist................................Fat.
Free spirit............................Junkie.
Friendship first......................Former slut.
New-Age.............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned.......................No Lewinskies.
Open-minded.......................Desperate.
Outgoing.........................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional..........................Bitch.
Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.
Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

 

[LotsOfZeros]

Old-fashioned.......................No Lewinskies.

hahahahaha!

 

[dogfighter]

Full figured.....................Morbidly obese, soon to be on TLC
Career-minded................Lesbian
Social smoker/drinker.......Bar fly
Sports fan.....................Lesbian
Outgoing.......................Your roommate's future fuck buddy
Independent..................Lesbian

 

[BlueYonder]

Decoding men's advertising:

Condom size Large = microscopic
Condom size XL = small
Condom size XXL = average sized
etc.

Hummer = flag-waving chicken hawk
Corvette = small dick under the hood
Peugeot convertible = swinging orthodonist

nice guy = can't get laid
between jobs = can't get paid
living at home = mom's his maid

Burst your bubble, didn't I?

 

[kingfish]

This is so true