Even though there is a wealth of information at your fingertips on this forum alone, I'm sure someone will take the time to re-write it all for you and hold your precious little hand.
By all means, do not make use of tools like the search function. Or if you are in search of enlightenment, do not look up pinned threads, or waddle through the enlightened section. Do not read books, look up interviews, etc.
And last, if you want help, do not do any research first, then test, then come back with results and ask for help interpreting said so we can all engage in constructive forumite-dialogue. No. Just ask people who are more successful than you to filter the wealth of information they have read to you, because I'm sure their time is worthless.