Go FUCK YOURSELF GOOGLE 'cause you just don't get it

megatabbers

New member
Jul 21, 2009
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Boston, MA
Google slapped the shit out of my campaign last September that's been running since May of '07. One page sales letter with the typical extra pages (privacy, contact, about, etc...) After going back and forth with the reps, I deduced that it was a "navigability" issue (you can never really know with those fuckers because they don't give you a straight answer).

OK, turned the site into a 4-pager with a new domain and let a tiny slice of traffic come in since then (about 1/8 of what it was). It converts about 40% lower than the previous site which had been optimized over 2 years, but hey, now we have good "navigability".

Now here's the funny part: every month I get an Email from a rep who tells me how great my campaign has done over the years and how he can help me improve it.

And today, I get a letter in the mail from Google that tells me I'm missing out on a ton of traffic because I'm not on the content network.

GO FUCK YOURSELF GOOGLE. You just don't get it, do you?

Shitting on your customers and then asking them to spend more money with you is not the best business strategy. You dumb fucks were milking 6 figures from me every year and you decide to throw it all away. Now you're getting a measly 1K/month and even that's going to go away soon. Fuck the ROI - it's a matter of principle.

I should write back asking them to re-review my original site and send them to makemonies for a nice cup of dickroll.

On the flipside, the slap was the best thing that's ever happened to me. There's so much better advertising opportunities beyond Google.

/end of rant.
 


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You dumb fucks were milking 6 figures from me every year and you decide to throw it all away.
Google had $24 bn revenue last year. Let's say your "6 figures" means $240,000. That means there could be 100,000 other guys with the same volume.

I don't know what you're promoting and exactly how. But ask yourself, if you were Google, would you even think twice about cutting loose one or a few of those 100,000 guys when on the other hand your customer trust and reputation with common people worth $24 bn is even slightly at risk?

G cares about the perceived quality of the sites they send users to because that makes people trust in Google ads and come back and click more ads. And quality as perceived by a user is a wealth of relevant information, truthfulness free of dubious claims, authority, and yes, navigability over multiple pages. It is not your conversion rate, which you may have boosted with all kinds of underhanded tactics.
 
Google slapped the shit out of my campaign last September that's been running since May of '07. One page sales letter with the typical extra pages (privacy, contact, about, etc...) After going back and forth with the reps, I deduced that it was a "navigability" issue (you can never really know with those fuckers because they don't give you a straight answer).

OK, turned the site into a 4-pager with a new domain and let a tiny slice of traffic come in since then (about 1/8 of what it was). It converts about 40% lower than the previous site which had been optimized over 2 years, but hey, now we have good "navigability".

Now here's the funny part: every month I get an Email from a rep who tells me how great my campaign has done over the years and how he can help me improve it.

And today, I get a letter in the mail from Google that tells me I'm missing out on a ton of traffic because I'm not on the content network.

GO FUCK YOURSELF GOOGLE. You just don't get it, do you?

Shitting on your customers and then asking them to spend more money with you is not the best business strategy. You dumb fucks were milking 6 figures from me every year and you decide to throw it all away. Now you're getting a measly 1K/month and even that's going to go away soon. Fuck the ROI - it's a matter of principle.

I should write back asking them to re-review my original site and send them to makemonies for a nice cup of dickroll.

On the flipside, the slap was the best thing that's ever happened to me. There's so much better advertising opportunities beyond Google.

/end of rant.



I understand why Google did some of what they did, but now they have taken it way too far. Banning people, ridiculous quality score rules, etc. I mean at some point, I AM the customer, I AM paying for advertising, stop giving me bullshit rules to follow. How many places have you ever had to beg to advertise with them? Its complete bullshit. Google will eventually fail, and I am going to be right there to enjoy it.
 
Google had $24 bn revenue last year. Let's say your "6 figures" means $240,000. That means there could be 100,000 other guys with the same volume.

I don't know what you're promoting and exactly how. But ask yourself, if you were Google, would you even think twice about cutting loose one or a few of those 100,000 guys when on the other hand your customer trust and reputation with common people worth $24 bn is even slightly at risk?

First of all, I am promoting my own company's product - not some shady affiliate rebill scam. Second of all, if I was Google and I gave a site a QS of 1/10 after taking their money since '07 then I wouldn't be begging them to spend more money with me. How does that make any sense? Either you want to do business with someone or you don't.

Furthermore, if they are so high and mighty that a pea-sized account like mine doesn't matter why the constant advertising to try and get me to spend more money?

G cares about the perceived quality of the sites they send users to because that makes people trust in Google ads and come back and click more ads. And quality as perceived by a user is a wealth of relevant information, truthfulness free of dubious claims, authority, and yes, navigability over multiple pages. It is not your conversion rate, which you may have boosted with all kinds of underhanded tactics.

Thanks for the lesson on how Google works, sparky, but this venting of mine wasn't about the slap. It's a result of their audacity to keep contacting me via Email (and now snail mail) to spend more money on the exact campaign they deemed "low quality".

It is not your conversion rate, which you may have boosted with all kinds of underhanded tactics.

Finally, don't make assumptions without knowing what you're talking about. There were no "underhanded" tactics. I'm promoting my own company's product which is completely legit. The conversion rate was optimized over 2+ years by multivariate testing of copy. If I was doing shady shit they would have banned me outright, told me to fuck off, and never do business with them again. They wouldn't be begging me to give them more money.
 
First of all, I am promoting my own company's product - not some shady affiliate rebill scam. Second of all, if I was Google and I gave a site a QS of 1/10 after taking their money since '07 then I wouldn't be begging them to spend more money with me. How does that make any sense? Either you want to do business with someone or you don't.
It's called a mass mailing.

Furthermore, if they are so high and mighty that a pea-sized account like mine doesn't matter why the constant advertising to try and get me to spend more money?
Because they want you to spend more money.


Thanks for the lesson on how Google works, sparky, but this venting of mine wasn't about the slap. It's a result of their audacity to keep contacting me via Email (and now snail mail) to spend more money on the exact campaign they deemed "low quality".
It's called a mass mailing. They send a mail letter/email to everyone who isn't opted-in to the content network. I've been mailed like 15 $100 vouchers to start a new Adwords account, despite the fact that I've had one for years. Surely as an affiliate you can recognize a DR campaign.


Finally, don't make assumptions without knowing what you're talking about. There were no "underhanded" tactics. I'm promoting my own company's product which is completely legit. The conversion rate was optimized over 2+ years by multivariate testing of copy. If I was doing shady shit they would have banned me outright, told me to fuck off, and never do business with them again. They wouldn't be begging me to give them more money.
The fact is, sales letters look shady and are used by a lot of seedy marketers. Without actually seeing the page, it's hard for anyone here to come to any conclusions to agree or disagree with you. We can only speculate what is on your page and why Google reacted the way they did.
 
"navigability" = multiple sales-page opportunities ...

Just get creative with your pitches/content value and test.

And I'm not saying they're not fucked. Google has gotten too big and relies on automation to the point where they don't have any people that can honestly tell you what's wrong with your site.

They're making profitable moves right now, but it's short term gains. People are starting to talk about their competitors more and more and that's always bad news because no recommendation is more powerful than a personal word-of-mouth testimonial
 
yea fuck the content network... not like its good for building email lists or anything.

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