Help with landing page - Link inside

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hypex

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Jan 19, 2009
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Australia
Hi guys,

I'm new to AM and taking part in ne3. I'm at the stage of creating a landing page and so far have First full nights sleep in years . I have tried to go for the more personal touch. If you could give some feed back that would be great as I know jack all about creating an effective landing page.
 


looks good. You have some awkward sounding sentences and a few grammatical errors, as well as some capitalization issues.

You should proofread it carefully and you'll find out all the minor errors.

Good luck!
 
Thanks oksk I actually got a 2nd year journalist to read over :/ . I will get the gf to read over it or pay and get it proof read. I'm hopeless when it comes to writing.
 
wow, looks nice

i like the wider format, unlike most sites that use the simple wordpress format (not a bad thing either haha)

i didnt give it a hard looking, but i noticed that your final link is oddly phrased
 
"read on to know how I got addicted to Ambien" - This part stands out and catches my attention... but it doesn't do anything to make me want to get a free trial.

"I graduated and got myself an job at a local accountancy firm in Chanhassen, Minnesota." - Did you use some sort of localization script to substitute the location of the user? If not, that's really f-ing weird because that's the city I live in! :eek7:
 
audible said:
"read on to know how I got addicted to Ambien" - This part stands out and catches my attention... but it doesn't do anything to make me want to get a free trial.

"I graduated and got myself an job at a local accountancy firm in Chanhassen, Minnesota." - Did you use some sort of localization script to substitute the location of the user? If not, that's really f-ing weird because that's the city I live in! :eek7:
Click to expand...

Ya i get Law Firm in North Olmstead, Ohio, which is a city that is minutes from the one i live in
 
Lol that's pretty damn accurate localization. Those dating sites will usually give me a different city that's close by, but not my exact city.
 
papajohn56 said:
you spelled "Trial" wrong in your big button. "Free Trail"

freetrial.jpg
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Wow nice find have fixed thanks

nat3r said:
wow, looks nice

i like the wider format, unlike most sites that use the simple wordpress format (not a bad thing either haha)

i didnt give it a hard looking, but i noticed that your final link is oddly phrased
Click to expand...

Thanks for that I will go over it and see if I can make it better

audible said:
"read on to know how I got addicted to Ambien" - This part stands out and catches my attention... but it doesn't do anything to make me want to get a free trial.
Click to expand...

That's a great point. I wanted that to catch the users eye (which I think it does) but it has nothing to push them through to the trial. Any suggestions?
"I graduated and got myself an job at a local accountancy firm in Chanhassen, Minnesota." - Did you use some sort of localization script to substitute the location of the user? If not, that's really f-ing weird because that's the city I live in! :eek7:
Click to expand...
I grabbed it from profitaddctions post in http://www.wickedfire.com/549559-post12.html if interested.
 
I would consider moving this bullet up to the be first "Asleep in 15 minutes – and stayed asleep for a good 7 hours straight!". Try and emphasize on "15 minutes" and "7 hours straight". Those are both nice quantifiable results.

I would also consider adding a bullet about staying alert at work and how your job productivity increased.

Thanks for the script reference, that'll be useful one day.
 
"I could not believe something so effected didn’t need a doctor"
>>Effected? Fix that.

Also you need periods on the end of your sentences in the bullet points list.

Also, sorry if that is actually your picture but I thought they were a butch woman at first until I read the "my name is james" part.
 
Thanks skeletor, the photo is just some random i found. Do you think its worth changing it? I was trying to match the photo to the age of the person in the story.

Male, Few years out of college, wussy and and now happy
 
hypex said:
Sticks it sends me to a different page since im in Australia (promotion is US only). If I put a US proxy in it goes to the correct page.

Is that the issue you are having?
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm in oz to but it doesn't take me anywhere, it goes to firefox's "server not found page".
 
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