After I left my archery class and went to the supermarket to pick up some cat food. I ran into this dumbass high school friend of mine who became a meth dealer that listened to nothing but Slipknot and the Insane Clown Posse. I don't remember his real name. But our conversation went something like this:
"You look uh, good, man," I said without even looking at him.
"Jizzy E. Hatchetman keeps is real dog, you know what I'm sayin'?"
I nodded. "I know what you are saying."
He laughed, said some other words, but mostly concentrating on expressing himself in third person and saying, "you know what i'm sayin'?" and "That's what I'm sayin', ninja." For some reason he spoke about how he was working on his own song and how it was going to be his WWE entrance theme music.
He was heading to a pig roast and was picking up some supplies for his "family". He invited me over, telling me it'll be a chill time with booze, girls, good food and they got a pig that would be killed, cooked and eaten. It all sounded like bullshit. He kept saying ninja. Every time he said ninja a drop of piss squeezed itself through my urethra and trickled down on my leg hairs. I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day so I followed him in my car after he bought the shittiest processed food you could buy at a supermarket. Not to mention the eight gallons of Faygo that he had in his shopping cart.
There were ten people there and I had more teeth than all of them combined. There was only one girl, Chunky Ninjalette, who was so fucking disgusting that I wanted to shove a jar full of nitroglycerin into her cunt and slam a sledgehammer down on it. She had this tattoo on her arm that said "BRAT" with a little yellow smiley face. Comparing the tattoo to the rest of her arm, the size was the equivalent to a church well to a humming bird's dick.
The place was more awkward than autistic sex. There was this blind gay couple there that kept playing Marko Polo to find each other when they drifted apart. When did reunite, they slobbered all over each other's faces while whispering shit like, "you faggot piece of shit motherfucking. Ninja I'm going to rail you hard tonight. "Ninja I want to spray faygo all over your cock and ride it hard bro. I'm going to swallow that gravy ninja. Ninja I love you so much. Your cock is so hot it boils my asshole."
I told them all they call me the Tornado because one time I twisted my cock in a full 720 degrees.
Instead of any good drugs, they all started smoking meth. Right before they went into their fucked up high they asked me if I wanted to do the honors of killing the pig that was tied to a tree a few feet away from them.
Everyone started making out with Chunky aside from the gay couple who were probably fucking behind the shed. She got completely naked and started rubbing dandylions and grass all over her greasy body until she was jaundice yellow. She screamed, "I WANNA BE THE SUN NINJAS."
My dick was saturated in piss and fury because of these motherfuckers. I broke up the make out session and told Chunky that I'm only going to kill the pig if she satisfies it too. I told her I'd fuck her brains out afterwards. She was worried about getting some sort of pig STD so I went to my car, got my bow and arrows along with a condom. I told her it was a numbing formula so she had to suck the chemicals out so the pig stays hard. She was still hesitant until I told her that the pig has the mind of a three-year old human and should have a fun time before it dies.
"Oh my gawd my daughter Shawniquea is three!"
"You should eat her pussy."
Chunky turns the pig over and started jerking it off, places the condom on it, which burst when the pig's cock reached maximum capacity. She seemed to forget about her worries because she was so fucked up and started sucking the pig's dick while every gathered around here jerking off furiously, everyone just muttering, "yeah bro. "Yeab ninjalette. Suck that pig cock, Chunky."
After a few minutes, they all started smoking more meth while I laughed hysterically in the background. They became so delirious that their eyes were just vacant, vacuous empty white pools.
I took the bow and arrow out and shot one of them in the leg. He fell to the ground and twitched slightly. I went over to the food at the picnic table and took a shit in the salad until he came to. I shot another arrow into the wound and at this point I was laughing so hard that I managed to piss myself.
I walked behind Chunky and called to her until she responded. She stood up, turned around from her fellatio and looked at me in a horny stupor. I upper-cutted her with my elbow, smashing her face, blood mixing with the pig sperm as she flew back onto Jizzy, who was still somewhat "there".
"Shit ninja is that yo' signature finisha'?!" He asked as he advanced to be to give me a high-five. "Ninja, that was some Stone Cold Ninja Steve Austin shit ninja yewknowati'msayin?" That was the last time I wanted to hear ninja again. I kicked him in his half-hard dick, making him lean his head forward in pain and bicycle kicked him in the throat as hard as I could, blood spurting as he convulsed on ground.
I went back to my last few arrows and started firing them out into the air, landing in foreign locations around the neighborhood. I cut the pig loose and watched it make its escape. Chunky eventually got up for a few seconds, fumbled over to the picnic table to sit down, and crashed right on top of it, a piece of wood puncturing her abdomen. I later found out that she later died of a combination of the e. coli in her colon spreading to her fat body, loss of blood and being a morbidly obese sack of shit.
Everyone kept jerking off until they passed out on each other. I drove home, waved to my neighbor who asked me where I had been.
"I went to a pig roast," I said.
He smiled gleefully, "I heard it was a bore."
"You look uh, good, man," I said without even looking at him.
"Jizzy E. Hatchetman keeps is real dog, you know what I'm sayin'?"
I nodded. "I know what you are saying."
He laughed, said some other words, but mostly concentrating on expressing himself in third person and saying, "you know what i'm sayin'?" and "That's what I'm sayin', ninja." For some reason he spoke about how he was working on his own song and how it was going to be his WWE entrance theme music.
He was heading to a pig roast and was picking up some supplies for his "family". He invited me over, telling me it'll be a chill time with booze, girls, good food and they got a pig that would be killed, cooked and eaten. It all sounded like bullshit. He kept saying ninja. Every time he said ninja a drop of piss squeezed itself through my urethra and trickled down on my leg hairs. I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day so I followed him in my car after he bought the shittiest processed food you could buy at a supermarket. Not to mention the eight gallons of Faygo that he had in his shopping cart.
There were ten people there and I had more teeth than all of them combined. There was only one girl, Chunky Ninjalette, who was so fucking disgusting that I wanted to shove a jar full of nitroglycerin into her cunt and slam a sledgehammer down on it. She had this tattoo on her arm that said "BRAT" with a little yellow smiley face. Comparing the tattoo to the rest of her arm, the size was the equivalent to a church well to a humming bird's dick.
The place was more awkward than autistic sex. There was this blind gay couple there that kept playing Marko Polo to find each other when they drifted apart. When did reunite, they slobbered all over each other's faces while whispering shit like, "you faggot piece of shit motherfucking. Ninja I'm going to rail you hard tonight. "Ninja I want to spray faygo all over your cock and ride it hard bro. I'm going to swallow that gravy ninja. Ninja I love you so much. Your cock is so hot it boils my asshole."
I told them all they call me the Tornado because one time I twisted my cock in a full 720 degrees.
Instead of any good drugs, they all started smoking meth. Right before they went into their fucked up high they asked me if I wanted to do the honors of killing the pig that was tied to a tree a few feet away from them.
Everyone started making out with Chunky aside from the gay couple who were probably fucking behind the shed. She got completely naked and started rubbing dandylions and grass all over her greasy body until she was jaundice yellow. She screamed, "I WANNA BE THE SUN NINJAS."
My dick was saturated in piss and fury because of these motherfuckers. I broke up the make out session and told Chunky that I'm only going to kill the pig if she satisfies it too. I told her I'd fuck her brains out afterwards. She was worried about getting some sort of pig STD so I went to my car, got my bow and arrows along with a condom. I told her it was a numbing formula so she had to suck the chemicals out so the pig stays hard. She was still hesitant until I told her that the pig has the mind of a three-year old human and should have a fun time before it dies.
"Oh my gawd my daughter Shawniquea is three!"
"You should eat her pussy."
Chunky turns the pig over and started jerking it off, places the condom on it, which burst when the pig's cock reached maximum capacity. She seemed to forget about her worries because she was so fucked up and started sucking the pig's dick while every gathered around here jerking off furiously, everyone just muttering, "yeah bro. "Yeab ninjalette. Suck that pig cock, Chunky."
After a few minutes, they all started smoking more meth while I laughed hysterically in the background. They became so delirious that their eyes were just vacant, vacuous empty white pools.
I took the bow and arrow out and shot one of them in the leg. He fell to the ground and twitched slightly. I went over to the food at the picnic table and took a shit in the salad until he came to. I shot another arrow into the wound and at this point I was laughing so hard that I managed to piss myself.
I walked behind Chunky and called to her until she responded. She stood up, turned around from her fellatio and looked at me in a horny stupor. I upper-cutted her with my elbow, smashing her face, blood mixing with the pig sperm as she flew back onto Jizzy, who was still somewhat "there".
"Shit ninja is that yo' signature finisha'?!" He asked as he advanced to be to give me a high-five. "Ninja, that was some Stone Cold Ninja Steve Austin shit ninja yewknowati'msayin?" That was the last time I wanted to hear ninja again. I kicked him in his half-hard dick, making him lean his head forward in pain and bicycle kicked him in the throat as hard as I could, blood spurting as he convulsed on ground.
I went back to my last few arrows and started firing them out into the air, landing in foreign locations around the neighborhood. I cut the pig loose and watched it make its escape. Chunky eventually got up for a few seconds, fumbled over to the picnic table to sit down, and crashed right on top of it, a piece of wood puncturing her abdomen. I later found out that she later died of a combination of the e. coli in her colon spreading to her fat body, loss of blood and being a morbidly obese sack of shit.
Everyone kept jerking off until they passed out on each other. I drove home, waved to my neighbor who asked me where I had been.
"I went to a pig roast," I said.
He smiled gleefully, "I heard it was a bore."
