MLM Fail

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supplyshock

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May 10, 2011
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Out of the blue one of my college classmates hit me up saying she really wanted to catch up with me and invited to take me out to drinks, as she recently found out I live close to her. I find this kind of odd but I never turn down grabbing drinks and love reconnecting with people so I gave it a shot.

Long story short, turns out she doesn't live that close to me.. more like an hours drive. As soon as the niceties were done with she popped the big question "How would you like to make $4,000-5,000 extra every month for barely any work?"

Now in my head I'm thinking.. shit, what did I get myself into? A MLM bullshit pitch? From one of my old friends that I haven't seen in maybe 2-3 years? I kind of let out a nervous laugh saying, no, not really, I'm quite fine actually.. (hey, arn't I the one supposed to be making the ludicrous claims and selling biz opps?)

But that didn't deter her as she started listing the benefits of the scheme of selling some kind of vitamins. How many times do you use vitamins in a day? Like 5 times a day? What if you could just take 1 vitamin and be set for the rest of your day? Uh, right.

Anyway, I kind of awkwardly told her no thanks, thanks for the drink, I'm actually kind of busy and high-tailed it out of there. I felt a little violated, that one of my friends from college was shamelessly pitching me some BS straight to my face and not cracking a blush.

What drives these people? Desperation? Delusion? I'll tell someone some bull to get CPA payouts but I definitely would never do it to my friends or in person. There's something about treating your friends and family as potential customers that gets to me and doesn't feel right.

Anyway, MLM is bullshit. Don't fall for that shit, and if someone tries to pitch it to you consider them dead.

The main thing I love with MLM is you have the ability for residual income from the same customer and from team effort. With affiliate marketing you make the sale and then that's it. Then the company you just referred to has the ability to follow up with them and keep making money from them forever. Lucky for me my networking company has great products that's gets millions of searches every month so I get the best of both worlds. Sales from my blog and residual team money. That's why I prefer MLM, as I am more of an outgoing person and like to meet people.
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Bull-shit. *shake my head*

MLM, affiliate marketing for social people?
 


MLM = SHIT + OBVIOUS and definitely agree about the friends in family thing for several reasons....

DON'T mix family/friends with shit you are promoting whatever it is steer clear. that's my .02
 
People get into MLM because they are either too stupid or lack the creativity to start their own business. Why do all of that work when you don't even own the company?
 
when i did client work i had this couple come in for 'website consultation' or some shit. they setup their laptop and after the bullshit, sly their way into their website for their mlm products. it was one of the worse ones too, like Amway i think. I got so fucking mad and just rolled my eyes. they could tell i was mad, but their desperation was far stronger than having any sort of respect for my time. the fucking laptop had this giant crack in it, all ghetto and shit i should've known from the get go. fucking jokers.
 
supplyshock said:
Out of the blue one of my college classmates hit me up saying she really wanted to catch up with me and invited to take me out to drinks, as she recently found out I live close to her. I find this kind of odd but I never turn down grabbing drinks and love reconnecting with people so I gave it a shot.

Long story short, turns out she doesn't live that close to me.. more like an hours drive. As soon as the niceties were done with she popped the big question "How would you like to make $4,000-5,000 extra every month for barely any work?"

Now in my head I'm thinking.. shit, what did I get myself into? A MLM bullshit pitch? From one of my old friends that I haven't seen in maybe 2-3 years? I kind of let out a nervous laugh saying, no, not really, I'm quite fine actually.. (hey, arn't I the one supposed to be making the ludicrous claims and selling biz opps?)

But that didn't deter her as she started listing the benefits of the scheme of selling some kind of vitamins. How many times do you use vitamins in a day? Like 5 times a day? What if you could just take 1 vitamin and be set for the rest of your day? Uh, right.

Anyway, I kind of awkwardly told her no thanks, thanks for the drink, I'm actually kind of busy and high-tailed it out of there. I felt a little violated, that one of my friends from college was shamelessly pitching me some BS straight to my face and not cracking a blush.

What drives these people? Desperation? Delusion? I'll tell someone some bull to get CPA payouts but I definitely would never do it to my friends or in person. There's something about treating your friends and family as potential customers that gets to me and doesn't feel right.

Anyway, MLM is bullshit. Don't fall for that shit, and if someone tries to pitch it to you consider them dead.

Bull-shit. *shake my head*

MLM, affiliate marketing for social people?
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Was the "vitamin" something like mana bears that "cure" cancer?
 
My Dad used to make a lot of money from MLM, but one thing i realized soon was he distanced a lot of people from him. He asked me to join and eventhough i could see the money making potential, it was not exactly for me..
 
crackp0t said:
Was the "vitamin" something like mana bears that "cure" cancer?
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Based on what she was telling me it was just a multivitamin. In my head I was just thinking bitch please, you know there ARE vitamins that you only need to take once a day and have all the daily values, it only costs $20 for a bottle and I can get it at Walgreens.
 
I had some insurance asshat pull me in for an "interview" a few years back. I sure got the job, but of course it would cost ME about $5000 with licensing and all. I knew it was bullshit after merely 15 seconds and was disgusted with myself for even sitting in the same room.

Not sure if this is common knowledge, but car dealers did something similar quite often back in the day. It was usually something like this: They would say "now hiring" when they really weren't, hire you, and tell you to write down everyone you know a a sheet of paper. Then they would say some shit like "you need to sell 3 cars in your first 2 weeks to keep your job, so start with who you know" and do their best to get a few sympathy buys out of your friends/family. And then they'd fire you (unless your fucking fantastic).
 
What's even worse is people believe the self-serving B.S. of Robert Kiyosaki and others (even TRUMP) that tell them M.L.M. is the 'best business to get into" :love-smiley-086:

now if you own and run the MLM...

That is a different story!

Another classic example of "look at what I do, NOT at what I say"
 
MLM _IS_ the best business model imaginable...

...If you started it.

Where else can you get desperate people to do all of the work for you of selling, hiring, promoting, networking, etc, and when they can't sell your shitty product, they feel forced to buy it themselves?

...Without paying them anything but a part of their own sales!

It's such a racket it makes me cry for humanity... And then want to start one up myself.
 
I was in Starbucks a couples weeks ago and there was a young couple sitting near the table....laptops set up, books out, etc.

I was only there for a few minutes, but I heard them making the most awkward calls about MLM. Went like....

"Hey.....Mike. I don't know if you remember me, but I sat beside you in chem class in grade 9. Have you heard about this new business I'm doing now?

Oh okay.....bye then"

They were going through their phone and Facebook to scrape phone numbers, and then calling random people out of the blue. Who the fuck does that?
 
Actually, I think everybody who can should attend at least one of those presentations.

Many years ago I saw something that struck me as pure fucking brilliance, an MLM recruiting technique that I've adapted to various sales pitches many times. A high school buddy contacted me out of the blue, because he was getting into this new business and he wanted my opinion of it, because I owned a business and am all smart and shit. I went out of curiousity, and because I figured I could possibly give him constructive criticism.

It was a presentation for Equinox, one of the big deal health MLMs in the 1990s. During the course of the dipshit presentation to which I was subjected, they discussed ways to breach the subject to your friends. Basically, you use one approach for people you think of as "below" you, at least in terms of intelligence, business acumen, etc. and you use the "can I get your opinion" to those who you consider "above" you.

Now, hopefully, anyone reading this knows enough about marketing to understand what just happened: I got the pitch equivalent of an anonymous cock stroke on a crowded train. Obviously, the only angle ever used is the "above" one -- then that person comes into the meeting, and finds out that he is an "above" type, and ideally rides that euphoria all the way to the dotted line.

I was only 23 at the time, and most of my sales experience up to that point was with aggressive and visual stuff that largely sold itself (gadgets, impulse buys, fancy cars, etc.) so I didn't so much have "sales" knowledge as I just had an amiable personality, a love of money and no qualms about getting rejected. So to me at the time, this just struck me as pure genius.

Short version/moral of this story is, MLM may be fucktarded shit for fucktards, but it's worth joining one of the bigger ones, not the online shit but the ones that insist on in-person interaction, just to go in and soak up all the pitch angles and manipulation. The guys that work as "magnet" recruiters are generally master salesmen, and it's a tuition-free lesson in how to work a room if you happen to have a free night (if you've ever been to an MLM presentation, this was the guy/girl who was the region's top earner, who just coincidentally happened to be in town that one night and agreed to share some wisdom with the plebians.)

I think a lot of people who work in IM run into issues because they lack any actual sales skills, and work too much on the purely mechanical aspects of SEO, PPC bidding, etc. You want a free two-hour course in salesmanship, let yourself get talked into attending one of these stupid things.

Other perks include but are not limited to free, unlimited coffee, and a general abundance of tail, especially if the company has anything to do with health/beauty.


Frank
 
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Lukep has the right idea.

This thread is like talking about biz ops from the perspective of the house wife that signs up for them. Of course it's not a legit business opportunity.

Go create a new MLM then start a thread about how dope it is. That's what I want to read.

fm1234 said:
The guys that work as "magnet" recruiters are generally master salesmen, and it's a tuition-free lesson in how to work a room if you happen to have a free night
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Edit: Just read Frank's post above and he's spot on too. I got involved with an MLM for a short period during my late teens when I was heavily into sales. Went to several of their meetings. The top earners are fucking stellar salespeople.
 
fm1234 said:
Basically, you use one approach for people you think of as "below" you, at least in terms of intelligence, business acumen, etc. and you use the "can I get your opinion" to those who you consider "above" you.

Now, hopefully, anyone reading this knows enough about marketing to understand what just happened: I got the pitch equivalent of an anonymous cock stroke on a crowded train. Obviously, the only angle ever used is the "above" one -- then that person comes into the meeting, and finds out that he is an "above" type, and ideally rides that euphoria all the way to the dotted line.
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Know why stevepavlina.com is so popular? It says "Personal Development for Smart People" at the top of every page (emphasis mine).
 
supplyshock said:
Based on what she was telling me it was just a multivitamin. In my head I was just thinking bitch please, you know there ARE vitamins that you only need to take once a day and have all the daily values, it only costs $20 for a bottle and I can get it at Walgreens.
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Worlds_Greatest_Vitamin_Supplement_Doug_Grant.gif




lukep said:
MLM _IS_ the best business model imaginable...

...If you started it.

Where else can you get desperate people to do all of the work for you of selling, hiring, promoting, networking, etc, and when they can't sell your shitty product, they feel forced to buy it themselves?

...Without paying them anything but a part of their own sales!

It's such a racket it makes me cry for humanity... And then want to start one up myself.
Click to expand...

I always thought it was having legions of little girls sellin cookies for you door to door. You know, The Girl Scouts.
 
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