So my husband lives with another woman....

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Aniston

Aniston

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Feb 18, 2008
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Well my husband had an affair starting March of this year. I told him to leave and he has been living with her since June. Since then the business we own together is tanking. Our 600K house is foreclosing on Oct 7th, my car is 2 months behind, I had to borrow money from my parents and I am a 35 year old Real Estate Broker. I drive a luxury car and yet I can't fill up the gas tank. My first month of affiliate marketing I made 5K and my husband took the money and spent it. Since then I haven't had any money to reinvest into it. I have a 20 month old daughter that I take care of and I can't afford daycare, therefore I can't work. The water is being turned off today, so my (cough) husband bought us bottled water today until we can turn it back on. It's amazing how you can be comfortable one moment and treading water the next. I feel like I am in a deep hole with no way out. Has anyone else gone through this?
 
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I think most of us have been through "tough" times, but not to the extent that you are going through. I would like to say that hope it works out for you, but you know it would be bs, since it is gonna take a whole lot to make it better. Good Luck.
 
I think it happens to everyone once. I'd like to say 'Hang in there' but that would only serve as feel-good coaching however, no matter how hard times can get, one day you will look back on it and think "Things really seemed worse than they actually were".

Just know that tomorrow is another day and you could find good fortune if you keep working on putting yourself in the path of it.
 
I've never gone through anything like this, but my own advice would be to to just keep chugging along forward. Don't dwell on the current state of affairs too much, or on the past, just focus on the "next step" (get water reconnected in 2 days/sell car tomorrow etc.) and go through with it.
 
Not yet, but you are NOT alone. The economy is tanking too and will get worse before it gets better. Many will experience your "deep hole" before long. It sounds to me like you need to rethink everything and come up with a plan of action and then execute it.

I wish you the best of luck.
 
Look into some state programs NOW as a potential backup. Pride can be a tough thing to swallow, however think of the money you thrown into the pot over the years - you deserve to seek welfare benefits if for any reason to at least support your child through tough times.
 
I think this thread may be one of the best uses of the "douchebag" forum icon yet.

Good luck... whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
 
This is a typical story around the country right now. The best thing you can do is budget as if you have NO MONEY and are living on $50 a month for food and gas. Treat every $ like it's the last and do your best to pull out. Obviously you need to ensure your "husband" receives no more of your income. I am not sure how he "blew" your 5k for example.
 
Sometimes life does this to you...

I've been through similar situations probably 3-4 times already (I'm not even 24 yet)... It seems as though life cycles you...

Gives you, gives you, gives you, gives you, and then wham... Takes it all away, and makes you start all over again.

Like invisible said, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

If you feel like you can pull yourself back up financially, rent your house out for a 6 month lease, allow a private party to make payments on your vehicle (owner carry, hold title, contract, down payment, no credit check)... If they default, you get the car back, if not, you have them making your payments...

Downgrade, but don't do it permanently... Just do these things to get some of the bills off your back and try to get back on your feet... If you make it work, you'll still have a house to go to.

Also, you can charge the person however much you are behind on the vehicle as a down payment. I would also tack on $400-500 over that, and hold on to it...

If the person defaults on payments (make the contract very strict, and of course, have it notarized), use $300 of that money and put an ad on craigslist explaining you are doing an Owner-Carry payment plan on one of your vehicles, and the buyer has defaulted and broken the contract. You are willing to pay $300 for a repo.

Many repo people will do independent jobs like that if you explain the situation, I know I would (I have access to repo equipment, and $300 is good)

Use the other $200 for a nice detail on the car :)
 
Jizzlobber said:
Look into some state programs NOW as a potential backup. Pride can be a tough thing to swallow, however think of the money you thrown into the pot over the years - you deserve to seek welfare benefits if for any reason to at least support your child through tough times.
Click to expand...

You are right and I have thought about this. Can you imagine me pulling up in a Mercedes for food stamps and welfare? I have no problem doing it but.....OH...the irony.
 
BradM said:
This is a typical story around the country right now. The best thing you can do is budget as if you have NO MONEY and are living on $50 a month for food and gas. Treat every $ like it's the last and do your best to pull out. Obviously you need to ensure your "husband" receives no more of your income. I am not sure how he "blew" your 5k for example.
Click to expand...

He controlled all our finances...that was my mistake...I admit it. I should have taken the blinders off and demanded to be involved with the financial decisions.
:anon.sml:
Every time I asked questions, he would yell at me...there was a lot of abuse.
 
Phre0nBurn said:
Sometimes life does this to you...

I've been through similar situations probably 3-4 times already (I'm not even 24 yet)... It seems as though life cycles you...

Gives you, gives you, gives you, gives you, and then wham... Takes it all away, and makes you start all over again.

Like invisible said, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

If you feel like you can pull yourself back up financially, rent your house out for a 6 month lease, allow a private party to make payments on your vehicle (owner carry, hold title, contract, down payment, no credit check)... If they default, you get the car back, if not, you have them making your payments...

Downgrade, but don't do it permanently... Just do these things to get some of the bills off your back and try to get back on your feet... If you make it work, you'll still have a house to go to.

Also, you can charge the person however much you are behind on the vehicle as a down payment. I would also tack on $400-500 over that, and hold on to it...

If the person defaults on payments (make the contract very strict, and of course, have it notarized), use $300 of that money and put an ad on craigslist explaining you are doing an Owner-Carry payment plan on one of your vehicles, and the buyer has defaulted and broken the contract. You are willing to pay $300 for a repo.

Many repo people will do independent jobs like that if you explain the situation, I know I would (I have access to repo equipment, and $300 is good)

Use the other $200 for a nice detail on the car :)
Click to expand...


This is not a bad idea...thanks!
 
Unarmed Gunman said:
How about you sell your fucking luxury car and your overpriced house and stop living above your means?

Then you can quit fucking whining about it.
Click to expand...

Hummmm....I have lived within my means for a very long time thank you. I never planned on my husband ditching our family and letting us down as a man. This could happen to you someday....Fuck-You very much!

1. House is on the market....Check!
2. Car is about to be gone...Check!
 
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