Allright I'm back.
I had been "talking to" this girl during the fall. Smart, tall, athletic blonde. Physical therapist doctor... seems pretty sane, right?
Well a few weeks ago, we had a falling out, but "made good" on Wednesday. She always liked me more than I like her, and I told her this. I am new to being self-employed and am in Acquire Currency / Disregard Females Mode. She "said" she understood but I knew that wasn't true.
So Saturday was her birthday party in my part of town. The meetup was 20 minutes north. When we "made good", I told her I wasn't going to her party because I'd be in Venice at this Internet Geek Meetup, which is priority.
Things at the meetup were starting to wind down, and I thought maybe the gang would want to come to her party along with Chase and Smaxor from A4D who were up from SD. I texted her and asked when the party started - BIG FUCKING MISTAKE.
Instead, I decided to split off and hung with another friendgirl who lives pretty close to the meetup. We just caught up for a bit. By the time I drove home, I was zonked out and it was like 1am anyway (bars close early in LA). The place where the girl's bday party was had a line and my phone was dead.
So I go to bed, throw in the earplugs so I don't get woken up by the local drunken douches, and goodnight.
I wake up at 9am.
3 missed calls from the birthday girl. 2:30am. 3:30am. 4:30am. There are about 75 text messages. She's begging me to open up. Why didn't I show up to her party. She's humiliated. She hates me. She cried herself to sleep. She's cold and drunk and thirsty. She's walking back in the cold. If I don't let her in she's going to throw up on my patio furniture. Got a few "Ddffdfdffefe" messages too. It goes on.
Apparently her drunk ass had been banging on my door ALL NIGHT LONG, so then finally she went and got her blanket (she's like a 10 minute walk) and SLEPT ON MY DOORSTEP.
In the meantime when I wake up, there are Facebook messages from my older neighbors. One reads, "Hey Berto, I went to walk the dog and there was a blonde sleeping on your stoop by the kitchen. I came back and she was gone but her blanket is still there. Should I call the cops?" The other one was earlier from the folks with a 12 year old, simply asking "What in the hell is going on?!"
I go outside, and sure as shit enough, there's her damned blankets. Should have taken a pic but I was too shocked. I texted her back and am like
"Holy fucking shit. I told you in person I wasn't going. This is absolutely unbelievable. You need to stay away from me for a long time. We are done."
She loses her shit, begging me to come over and talk with her, 2 emails and 50 texts later, she gets the picture. I tell her "Thanks for the Blanket, it's going to Good Will". After I ignore her for a while and tell her to stop - it's over, she finally quits / sobers up. I did leave her blanket out in the rain for her - That was the best I could do.
I gotta say, I'm slightly impressed with myself. I've never made a chick go this batshit crazy. Anyway, shouldn't have teased her by asking when the party started. That was bad/wrong.
TL;DR version - Bitches be crazy and I must be really damned good in the sack.
