What "normal" people think about SEO

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When giant Google takes a crap, every SEOer minutely examines the steaming heap.

But some SEOers want to be ahead of the curve, so they don't wait until the golden turds hit the ground. They jump up, trying to get a view inside Google's butt. They want to know how the digestive system works. The express concern when Google experiences constipation. They offer suppositories for the occasional hemorrhoid. They break out their umbrellas when Google has diarrhea.

Talk about stringing out a metaphor, jesus.
 
This guy is nuts, you can't buy Lithuanians and Bulgarians for 10 cents per hours! Those guys are in EU now...
 
God damn it must have been hard as hell for him to rank for "Mesa Giant Red Nipple"

Have you seen how fucking competitive that term is? And look at the search volume its getting.

Gee, it sure would be nice to be as bright as that guy.
 
Aside from trying way too hard to be funny

The SEO industry came into being approximately ten seconds after Google announced its PageRank system. Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, says that "PageRank is a link analysis algorithm that assigns a numerical weighting to each element of a hyperlinked set of documents, such as the World Wide Web, with the purpose of measuring its relative importance within the set."

Yes no one ever did SEO before google came around. He is absolutely correct. Before the pagerank system we all just distributed images of Jenny Mcarthy partially topless hoping to attract surfers.
 
SEOers rely on PageRank like the rest of us rely on air. In fact, your average SEOer keeps a wary eye on everything that Google does, because Google created--and can easily destroy--his business. When giant Google takes a crap, every SEOer minutely examines the steaming heap.

Any seo who still put so much importance on pagerank should just quit the industry.
 
Great post, I picked up a few tips which are helping me rank for "Uber Mesa Giant Red Nipple". Now I just gotta monetize off the loads of traffic because blogging for others and building their assets isn't quite cutting it... oh wait.
 
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