I'm always way too candid here. But bros, need a little help.
Some of you know, I was honorably separated from the Marine Corps in January of this year. My wife, our four boys, and myself moved from Hawaii to Arizona where I accepted the position as a managing partner of a web dev and internet marketing team.
I also started school full time at a nearby community college. I've sucked at managing a good work-school-family balance. I knew it would be tougher for the first few months, for a couple of reasons. It would take our vehicle and personal belongings about a month to get out here, and that's always a funky limbo. The business I had become part of lost our primary sales partner and would rely heavily on my ability to generate our sales (I'm primarily production - we're a small crew). Having a big family, a single provider, and attempting the entrepreneur's path is right up there with being deployed on some days.
I handled the stresses relatively well, so I thought. But I think the problem is that the negative influence of stress effects me gradually rather than immediately. It's hard to see it.
I have a gambling addiction. It's effected me once in my life when I was 17 and played online poker. It hasn't sprouted its head since, though. Not until recently, anyway.
I started taking time away from work to give to school and family. Then I'd take time away from school to give to work and family. And I started to develop a bigger and bigger overdue task list. I owed next weekend to my wife and the kids because I had borrowed a day from a family day to get work done. And I would constantly rob from Peter to pay Paul, and it wasn't getting me anywhere but further behind. I started taking Adderral to enhance my productivity. This worked to some affect, but didn't help with my addictive personality.
Finally, I had the idea to run to the casino and win some unscheduled money. Hopefully, this would let me take a little time away from work to focus on the family/school overdue list.
But then I lost. And now the overdue list included "Make back initial gambling money," and my only solution to that was with more gambling.
This started at the end of February and has since spiraled. I've spent an entire paycheck from work, I've taken a payroll advance, I've spent savings money, and I've racked up credit card debt.
Worst of all, this is affecting my performance at work, school, and home, and I recently told my friend/partner about the issue as well as my wife. It has affected both of them personally, my wife for obvious reasons.
I've racked up about $6,000 total. This came to light last week, to which my wife was ready to tackle the challenge with me and my friend laughed it off. The week went well, and I've been trying to change my lifestyle habits (such as going to sleep earlier, make the bed in the morning, etc) but for some reason, today I went over and gambled again.
My wife and friend immediately realized this isn't a joke. And I hate that I need help, but I think that's apparent. But the worst part about this mess is knowing I'm smarter than this.
Any advice?
TL;DR: Have two problems: a gambling addiction and I let my tasks build up on the overdue task list. I welcome some insight.
Note: I know this is going to be hugely damaging to my reputation around here, and lots of snide remarks will be made, but I'm really not willing to let my life turn into some sad story about how I spiraled out of control. I need help, and I'd really like some support.
Some of you know, I was honorably separated from the Marine Corps in January of this year. My wife, our four boys, and myself moved from Hawaii to Arizona where I accepted the position as a managing partner of a web dev and internet marketing team.
I also started school full time at a nearby community college. I've sucked at managing a good work-school-family balance. I knew it would be tougher for the first few months, for a couple of reasons. It would take our vehicle and personal belongings about a month to get out here, and that's always a funky limbo. The business I had become part of lost our primary sales partner and would rely heavily on my ability to generate our sales (I'm primarily production - we're a small crew). Having a big family, a single provider, and attempting the entrepreneur's path is right up there with being deployed on some days.
I handled the stresses relatively well, so I thought. But I think the problem is that the negative influence of stress effects me gradually rather than immediately. It's hard to see it.
I have a gambling addiction. It's effected me once in my life when I was 17 and played online poker. It hasn't sprouted its head since, though. Not until recently, anyway.
I started taking time away from work to give to school and family. Then I'd take time away from school to give to work and family. And I started to develop a bigger and bigger overdue task list. I owed next weekend to my wife and the kids because I had borrowed a day from a family day to get work done. And I would constantly rob from Peter to pay Paul, and it wasn't getting me anywhere but further behind. I started taking Adderral to enhance my productivity. This worked to some affect, but didn't help with my addictive personality.
Finally, I had the idea to run to the casino and win some unscheduled money. Hopefully, this would let me take a little time away from work to focus on the family/school overdue list.
But then I lost. And now the overdue list included "Make back initial gambling money," and my only solution to that was with more gambling.
This started at the end of February and has since spiraled. I've spent an entire paycheck from work, I've taken a payroll advance, I've spent savings money, and I've racked up credit card debt.
Worst of all, this is affecting my performance at work, school, and home, and I recently told my friend/partner about the issue as well as my wife. It has affected both of them personally, my wife for obvious reasons.
I've racked up about $6,000 total. This came to light last week, to which my wife was ready to tackle the challenge with me and my friend laughed it off. The week went well, and I've been trying to change my lifestyle habits (such as going to sleep earlier, make the bed in the morning, etc) but for some reason, today I went over and gambled again.
My wife and friend immediately realized this isn't a joke. And I hate that I need help, but I think that's apparent. But the worst part about this mess is knowing I'm smarter than this.
Any advice?
TL;DR: Have two problems: a gambling addiction and I let my tasks build up on the overdue task list. I welcome some insight.
Note: I know this is going to be hugely damaging to my reputation around here, and lots of snide remarks will be made, but I'm really not willing to let my life turn into some sad story about how I spiraled out of control. I need help, and I'd really like some support.
