You Know You're Drunk When...?

jstover77

jstover77

Fwhat?
Dec 23, 2011
1,498
19
0
Doylestown PA
www.bestseofirm.com
I'll start this off...

You wake up and ask your wife why she is naked, when in actuality you are naked and there is a piece of pizza and bowl of oodles and noodles half eaten on the night stand.

Or..when you run out of orange juice and use orange flavored Metamucil to mix with your vodka.

I eagerly await Jeffey's response.
 


when you get the best blowjob of your life in a dark shady nightclub in Barcelona Spain and then realize shortly after it was a tranny
 
you wake up to your wife smacking you because you dropped your open laptop on the dog who jumped up and stampeded on the sleeping child who had made a bed on the floor.
 
When you wake up with text message responses from contacts called,

"DO NOT CALL!"
"DO NOT ANSWER!"
and
"stop. you will regret it."

Another one of my [least] favorites is when I wake up and notice I sent out an alarming number of snapchats to a bunch of girls and I have no idea what they were.
 
i knwo im super drunk when i cant dial numbers from phone. even tho im a really heavy drinker to get such drunk happened to me not many times. usually night is too short to put me in that state
 
flippy said:
when you get the best blowjob of your life in a dark shady nightclub in Barcelona Spain and then realize shortly after it was a tranny
Click to expand...
When a tranny gives you the best blowjob of your life in a dark shady nightclub and then realize shortly after it was your wife - who supposedly went out for dinner with her sister, whose voice you previously thought you overheard negotiating in another stall in the men's room while you were in a stall of your own pouring the contents of your flask into your Coke to save money.
 
You wake up after falling off the toilet...you're stuck between the toilet and the wall, cross-legged with your nutsack hanging out and bathroom tile imprinted on the side of your face...you look up and it's your mom.
 
You Know You're Drunk When...?

... when you know you called some girls, but can't remember if any of them said they'd come over.

... Make sure you lock your doors and fall asleep.
 
Dwight Schrute said:
You call Dwight Schrute's cell while he's eating breakfast with his kids and say, "DWIGHT. I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY DICK IN SOME CHICK'S ASS. I CAME ALL OVER HER... AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME."
Click to expand...
First of all... I switched holes and went back to sleep. SECOND, THAT WAS PRIVATE.
 
When your nutsack is stapled to your stack of papers along with tat's of Staples Store Number for office supply support.
 
You know you were drunk when you scroll through your phone book every once in a while and half of your 726 contacts look like this:

Adriana
Anastasia
Arlene
Angie
Betsy
Brit
Britt
Brittany
Beverly
Camila
Charlotte
Chrissy BARTENDER
Chris BARCA
Cristy
Danie
Daniela
Delaney
Dijana
Ea
Esther
Hannah
Ioana
Jacqueline
Jaci
Jaqi
Jacky
Jara
Jean
Jen
Jennifer
Jenny
Jenny2
Jenny SUSHI
Jenny TENNIS
J
Jessica
Jessi
Jina
Jodie
Julia
Juliet
Kathrin Call me! xoxo
Kathy
Kkkkkkk blond
Lara NY
Lara BKY
Laura
Marcia
Marcee
Mel
Nadine
Nadia
Olivia
Padrica
Pam
PAM
Paulina HH
Sabs
Sandra
Sandi
Sandy
Sandy G
Shana
Steph
Valerie
Válerie
Vanessa
X cab park
X strip
Xx girl ktj
Xx girl2
Xxxx girl
Xxxx STEPH
Xxxx tequila

...and you have no freakin idea who any of them are.
 
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