About 6 years ago I was driving home from a neighboring city after a massive party and I was shit-faced drunk after heavy beer, scotch and tequila shots, so much so that I had to pull over on the highway to toss my dinner.
After I got back on the highway with no shirt on ( got stained when I was sick and I tossed it), I get pulled over by a cop, I knew I was fucked unless I acted fast, luckily I was wearing dress pants and a suit coat was on the front seat as it was a formal event
So this cop pulls up and asks the usual, license, registration, then says " Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" and I say: "Oh I'm not feeling very well officer I had to pull over cause I was sick and stained the shirt so I put it in the trunk" He then obviously he asks: "Have you been drinking tonight?" and I said: "Yes, officer honestly a little but I doubt that has anything to do with it as it wasn't much, I just think I ate some really bad food".
Obviously by this point he knows I'm full of shit and I knew what was next so I followed with: "I'm actually coming from a wedding, actually from a San Antonio police officer, you may know him captain G** D** (some fucking bullshit name I pulled out of my ass but he didn't know either way cause it was from a different city), then I go on: "It was actually a great party, a lot of cops there and they did the full uniform salute, I'm just upset I felt sick from some food I ate earlier and couldn't stay and celebrate with my buds" I knew it was a long shot but I played on their "they all bleed blue" code, and to my fucking amazement he says, all right then, go on your way just drive carefully and get some rest.
Sometimes you gotta roll the dice, and sometimes you gotta shut the fuck up, being a player means playing it by ear depending on the cop, I figured the worst that could of happened was the same thing as if I'da shut the fuck up, so I got a free roll to try and get loose from something I was going down for anyway and the 1 times out of 100 that this could've flown, it did.