HIRE ME!!

K

Kayle Buttler

New member
Jul 8, 2013
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I don't know where to start this... I feel kinda stupid for starting such a thread, but desperate times - desperate measures they say.

I'm flat broke, as with $0 to my name as of today. I would spare you the details about how I got to this level, the tl;dr version of it is that I learn a tough lesson about under capitalization of an ecommerce operation and got into a denial/depression for over a year. Couple that with bad personal spending habbits and leeching "friends" and you got a recipe for disaster.

So now, that I've hit the rock bottom I am forced to seek for help.

Realistically, I'm looking someone to take me as a VA. I can do pretty much everything you would seek in a VA. I've had 10+ VAs in my online career, so I know what you are probably looking for. Can't code unfortunately, apart from some HTML/CSS.


I command English perfectly (for a foreigner).
I can do spreadsheets VERY well.
I can't do SEO per-se, but know the basics of what it should be, so if you explain what is the task, I can do it easily.
Am from the "internet" generation, so there aren't really computer tasks that I can't learn how to do in a matter of few days, if not few hours.
I am superb at customer support, because I did huge amounts of it myself and trained other people to do it like me. I will take care of your business, as if it's mine.
Am willing to be a robot and do pretty much anything you need.

I hope there is at least one guy around here that would need a quality assistant, that he can trust not to screw up, and who doesn't need 2 hours of explaining for the most basic shit to do.


I have plethora of other really valueable skills that I developed when I ran a couple of ecommerce sites, selling physical and digital products, such as:

- Landing page optimization.
- Paid advertising. Mainly PPC, but CPM-based buys too. I am not a rockstar by any standards, but know my way around.
- I do social pretty well. Not the kind of auto posting from an RSS feed. The real deal. Finding influencers, creating brand recognition and brand recommendation, etc.
- Finding unique opportunities for advertisement, finding and developing relationships with possible affiliates, as well as managing affiliates.
- Market research/SWOT analysis.

IF you are going to ask why I don't go and work at MCdonalds or some shit - the wages in my country are beyond laughable. I wonder how those people buy food, let alone save.

I can't PM, my email is toranaga.san <.at.> outlook <.> com (yes, the new outlook is awesome, you should try it!)

Mods have mercy please! :costumed-smiley-015

edit: sorry to use your forum in such a way. I will make sure to post something of value, irregardless of somebody helping me. That is, if I don't get banned for this thread of course, but communities are for connecting and helping each other, so I hope my situation and actions would be understood.
 


underboob-awesome-7.jpg
 
OP you need boob pics, stat. Failure to deliver on the boob icon is punishable by bludgeoning. Hurry before the net drops and you are hanging by your ankles. We will base your potential as a VA on the quality of the boobs provided. That is all, good luck bro.

PS What country are you from?
 
BabyGotBacklink said:
OP you need boob pics, stat. Failure to deliver on the boob icon is punishable by bludgeoning. Hurry before the net drops and you are hanging by your ankles. We will base your potential as a VA on the quality of the boobs provided. That is all, good luck bro.

PS What country are you from?
Click to expand...

The post with the boobs cannot be visible before a moderator approves it :(
 
I can't PM, my email is toranaga.san <.at.> outlook <.> com (yes, the new outlook is awesome, you should try it!)
Click to expand...


Yeah, I heard the new Outlook is NSA ready :)​

jryan21 said:
Revealed: how Microsoft handed the NSA access to encrypted messages

Microsoft has collaborated closely with US intelligence services to allow users' communications to be intercepted, including helping the National Security Agency to circumvent the company's own encryption, according to top-secret documents obtained by the Guardian.

The files provided by Edward Snowden illustrate the scale of co-operation between Silicon Valley and the intelligence agencies over the last three years. They also shed new light on the workings of the top-secret Prism program, which was disclosed by the Guardian and the Washington Post last month.


The documents show that:

• Microsoft helped the NSA to circumvent its encryption to address concerns that the agency would be unable to intercept web chats on the new Outlook.com portal;

• The agency already had pre-encryption stage access to email on Outlook.com, including Hotmail;

• The company worked with the FBI this year to allow the NSA easier access via Prism to its cloud storage service SkyDrive, which now has more than 250 million users worldwide;

• Microsoft also worked with the FBI's Data Intercept Unit to "understand" potential issues with a feature in Outlook.com that allows users to create email aliases;

• In July last year, nine months after Microsoft bought Skype, the NSA boasted that a new capability had tripled the amount of Skype video calls being collected through Prism;

• Material collected through Prism is routinely shared with the FBI and CIA, with one NSA document describing the program as a "team sport".
Click to expand...

More: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/11/microsoft-nsa-collaboration-user-data
Click to expand...
 
lol @ this thread likely getting to page 2 with typical STS responses by those who can't spot an opportunity

Everybody who reads it will stick with their barely competent $4/hr Fllipian who can only handle depressingly simple commands rather than giving a clearly able English speaker, who has some experience, and wants to be in the industry.

good luck bros
 
All the best OP, and hope you land yourself a decent gig!

Don't worry about the haters. Just shake your first at them in anger, and they'll go away.
 
Staccs said:
lol @ this thread likely getting to page 2 with typical STS responses by those who can't spot an opportunity

Everybody who reads it will stick with their barely competent $4/hr Fllipian who can only handle depressingly simple commands rather than giving a clearly able English speaker, who has some experience, and wants to be in the industry.

good luck bros
Click to expand...

He's overqualified to be a VA, JMO. His skill set is a weird fit. Maybe a junior account manager for IM but he's still missing certain pieces so he'd need a good amount of training. Training is an investment and a calculated risk, how long before he's ready to go out on his own?

OP if you had any amount of capital I'd suggest you break out on your own. Which is what I think is your end goal, realistically. Which means if I hired you and trained you it would only be a matter of time. Yes it sucks but it's just the truth. In this industry of self made men/women and lone wolves nobody wants to train their next competitor.

You said you are broke, go to a freelancing site (no boob pics required) and get hired. Save some money and study in your downtime. Just my two cents.
 
Someone take some pity on this guy and hire him for something. Of all the bullshit posts of people begging for something, this one seems pretty legit and I'm sure one of you ballers could put him to work. He's not asking for a handout. Give the dude a shot. It will be your one good deed for the day and you can start a feelgood thread about it in a month.

- The kinder, gentler feezy. The feezy you deserve.
 
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