Am I an asshole for telling my friend this?
- Thread starter Traska
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What bb wolfe said, and also:
I have done the same thing to many people. Tried to anyway. Some people will never mentally get off the rat race. Others will jump up and have a revelation when you show them proof. Focus on hanging out with the second group.
I have done the same thing to many people. Tried to anyway. Some people will never mentally get off the rat race. Others will jump up and have a revelation when you show them proof. Focus on hanging out with the second group.
I would not necessarily agree with this statement, college is great for partying, girls and doing a shitload of stuff you really cannot get away with at any other point in your life.
You can only give people what they WANT and not what they NEED, otherwise they bite the hand that feeds.
I really hope this isn't the case, but the sad truth is likely to be that one day, when he's in his late 40s, mortgaged up to the hilt, stuck in a job he doesn't like, and wondering where his life went, he will think about what you said, and realise you were right. Until then, he'll probably just keep drinking the kool-aid.
You're one person in his life trying to undo decades of societal conditioning. I applaud you for giving him some excellent advice, and being a great friend, but you're definitely in for an uphill struggle.
It's like telling your best friend that the guy / girl they've been madly in love with for all these years is in fact a complete shitbag and cheats on them, even though they've never seen it with their own eyes. It's so far away from what's true in their own reality tunnel, they'll decide that you're the one who's a liar, usually until it's too late.
Don't worry too much about it. I have a friend in the same situation. He will be losing his job in a few months and asked me how he could make some money. I told him about AM. He just doesn't get it, he says. I tell him that I will sit down with him and show him. He says, no he's really not interested. He knows how much money I make and is envious, but still doesn't want to learn how I do it.
I've got stupid friends.
I've got stupid friends.
NickRac
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Sounds more like he's looking for an excuse to not have a job - I think you're right in what you were saying
My brother got mad at me when he tried to sit down and talk about a business plan for his wonderful invention he wanted to manufacture, patent, market and distribute. But when I asked him some sound questions like. "When do you think you can have a prototype built?" He asked me for cash....and to find someone to make the prototype...and build the website, and take the customer support calls, and deal with the fulfillment, and everything else you can think of. Instead of agreeing to accomplish this for him I gave advice and thats where I made a mistake. He was sooooo pissed when I came out and said I wasnt comfortable becoming business partners and it only reinforced it.
Advice should never be given freely. It is one of the most valuable commodities in this world. There is no value in free. If people do not have a stake in what they are trying to accomplish they wont be connected enough to it to see it though. When you give sound advice at BEST they wont utilize it and at WORST they will resent you for it. So...its a waste of time and resources that can be better used packaging as an info product. So put together this wonder product and sell it to him.
You're not an asshole for trying to help. You're just not that much of an opportunist. \
Yes, that last sentence is advice not an insult.
Advice should never be given freely. It is one of the most valuable commodities in this world. There is no value in free. If people do not have a stake in what they are trying to accomplish they wont be connected enough to it to see it though. When you give sound advice at BEST they wont utilize it and at WORST they will resent you for it. So...its a waste of time and resources that can be better used packaging as an info product. So put together this wonder product and sell it to him.
You're not an asshole for trying to help. You're just not that much of an opportunist. \
Yes, that last sentence is advice not an insult.
Well it gets even better, his father thinks going to college for anything but being a doctor is stupid, and he is self made in real estate. He tells me his dad and him constantly have fights due to their difference of opinion.
I have met his dad and he is not friendly at all, but I am still perplexed as to why he has never said to his dad "I want to learn real estate," and his dad would teach him most everything for FREE = Easy life.
He just got a job as a lot attendant yesterday at a dealership :updown:
Mechanical dexterity to the rescue...
From mechanic to lot attendant. I hope for his sake this is just a temporary setback and not a continual slide into obscurity.
You're not an asshole, you're only giving your friend realistic advise. It's your friend that is being ignorant of your good advise. Point him to this thread so he will find hopefully realize and not waste money on school.
Friend, if you read this. You can learn much faster on your own then when you go to school. I did the same with programming. I canceled TV and internet and spent my daytime on learning programming. 1,5 years later I was on a professional level.
School is overrated.
Friend, if you read this. You can learn much faster on your own then when you go to school. I did the same with programming. I canceled TV and internet and spent my daytime on learning programming. 1,5 years later I was on a professional level.
School is overrated.
Man I know what you mean, I've had a couple of conversations go the same way with friends. People have that stupid 9-5 mentality, and they can't get out of it.
Take my brother, he's studying a degree in English language and is a damn good writer - he could make a pretty good living just doing article writing on internet marketing forums and the like, never mind some of the high end stuff he could probably get into to. I told him about it and he wasn't interested in the slightest, it's just the way people are.
Take my brother, he's studying a degree in English language and is a damn good writer - he could make a pretty good living just doing article writing on internet marketing forums and the like, never mind some of the high end stuff he could probably get into to. I told him about it and he wasn't interested in the slightest, it's just the way people are.
If you tell someone to do something, they won't do it because YOU told them and people generally don't like be told what to do.
You've told him now so stop wasting your time thinking about it and get on with your own shit. Now I've said that... I can forget about it and get on with my shit too! Don't tell me about this again.
You've told him now so stop wasting your time thinking about it and get on with your own shit. Now I've said that... I can forget about it and get on with my shit too! Don't tell me about this again.
Maybe you're right (I think you are) and maybe you were still kind of an ass (I wasn't there so I have no idea)?
Delivery of this kind of stuff can be really important. Most of the time it's how we say things and not what we're actually saying.
Also, a word about going to school vs. teaching yourself. Sometimes school is really helpful for some folks. Not everyone is a self starter, and the little bit of self confidence that school can give them may be what someone needs to get started.
Delivery of this kind of stuff can be really important. Most of the time it's how we say things and not what we're actually saying.
Also, a word about going to school vs. teaching yourself. Sometimes school is really helpful for some folks. Not everyone is a self starter, and the little bit of self confidence that school can give them may be what someone needs to get started.
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