You can learn Curl in a day. Really once you learn one language the rest will be so much easier. I can pick up a new language and write my first app in a day. After about a month I will probably have it mastered. For me programming has been something I really loved. I started with PHP, then went straight to C# as I heard the syntax was similar.
Recently I started with common lisp and am finding it very interesting. Rambling a bit here. What finally gave me the push to learn a language was that I knew what app I wanted and it just didn't exist. With that in mind I torrented a few php books and within about two weeks I had my first workable app

gonna stop ramblin warrior forum dicks........
+1 on this.
Really, I think what everyone's dancing around [but nobody is saying] is that programming is less of a "knowledge" and more of a "skill."
If someone asks if you know "how" to chop wood, the answer is probably "yes." You'd have to be a fucking idiot to be unable to swing an axe. What they're asking is if you've
done it before and if you're any
good at it.
Similarly, the statement "if(x == 1) { print x } else { print y }" isn't very hard to understand. What you're trying to achieve is familiarity with the programming language, so that the language is actually your tool to wield in your job (like the axe is a tool to woodcutting), so that when you use said tool, the outcome functions properly (conforms to specs, does what it's supposed to). There's no "right way" to write any program, but there are often many "wrong ways". You want to see and learn about the wrong ways, so you can avoid them.
Learn one language. "Learn" really doesn't mean read a book, unless you learn best that way -- I've never met anyone who learns best by reading a book. Your best bet is probably to pick a small, easy problem that you fully understand, and try to code it- like "If today is Tuesday, change the background to blue". Then work your way up. Pick a new problem, say "Display how many times a user has visited the site." This will require either sessions, file reading/writing, or SQL, to log how many times a client has visited. So when you get to this point, google "php sessions", "php file read" or "php mysql".
Not to put words in your mouth, but every time I hear someone say "I want to learn to program", they're confused about what they really want. They think they want lessons and books and courses; really, they want two or three links to some simple documentation, and enough motivation to get started on a small project. Once you've tapped out that first working bit of code, you'll be well on your way to "learning" any language (PHP/Ruby/JS/etc), framework (cakePHP, symfony, Rails, prototype) or API (cURL, WordPress) you want.