★My content's BETTER THAN TITS. Don't believe me? Then pick up a FREE REVIEW COPY!!★
Alright, maybe my shit's not better than tits, but for the time being I am giving out unlimited FREE REVIEW COPIES. As long as you have over 300 posts, then hit me up and I'll hook you up with one free article (just make the shit semi-reasonable).
Now for the real shit...
Here are four reasons why you should choose me over any other content writing dickfarts out there:
Alright, maybe my shit's not better than tits, but for the time being I am giving out unlimited FREE REVIEW COPIES. As long as you have over 300 posts, then hit me up and I'll hook you up with one free article (just make the shit semi-reasonable).
Now for the real shit...
Here are four reasons why you should choose me over any other content writing dickfarts out there:
- Everyone’s shit smells, except my shit doesn’t smell like shit, it smells like fucking tits – and everybody wants their shit to smell like fucking tits. If you hire me, then your articles won’t sound like a bunch of nonsensical bullshit, but instead will be presented in the most effective and cohesive manner. My articles are readable, make sense, and are grammatically fucking correct! Plus, I write shit in the most professional fucking manner – taking out the fucking profanities as I go along!
- My laptop’s keyboard doesn’t have a fucking control button. A month back after my porno stream stopped ten minutes in I tossed that motherfucker halfway across the room. Now, I no longer have a control button which limits my copy and pasting, and guarantees that your shit will be 100% fucking original! Any one of the mother fuckers I spit out is guaranteed to grab copyscape and fuck it right in the ass! And I’m not talking about that kiddy shit you and your wife do – I’m talking Mickey Rourke and that bathroom blonde bitch in The Wrestler!
- My shit comes at you faster that a Kenny Powers motherfucking fastball. With no real job and a cocaine habit that requires daily re-ups, my shit is virtually guaranteed to get to you ASAP. After an order is confirmed, it shouldn’t take longer than 12 hours to get done (unless of course I’m getting hammered, in which case I’ll tell you: “Fuck this. I’m getting hammered.”). My shit comes so quick that it has become nearly synonymous with premature ejaculation!
- I am one cool ass mother fucker. Enough said.
So what the fuck are you waiting for?
If you want a free article then just hit me up!
...and if you're looking to order then my rates start at $2.00/100 words --> but don't worry - this shit is pure quality!
If you want a free article then just hit me up!
...and if you're looking to order then my rates start at $2.00/100 words --> but don't worry - this shit is pure quality!