Alright, be honest. Who's legitimately happy?

Gambit said:
If you're working 12+ hours a day, you're doing it wrong.


But honestly, I do agree with most of this thread. I don't plan on working and focusing on IM as much after 2-3 years. I'll basically be set financially unless something drastic happens.

But right now during this time I have a feeling that I want to achieve more or be doing other things. I know there's nothing else I should be focusing on with my life right now because this will get me out of all the student loan debts I have and get me whatever I want in the future. Then I'll be set. But I would say I was happier 2 years ago than I am at this time.

I'm sure that will change. But the end goal is worth the effort right now. I feel like I'm missing out on my prime years of my youth doing this, but I also am starting to feel disconnected from my friends. They're all moving into their stable relationships and jobs, and I can see how miserable they are. I guess I miss that I will be in a position to enjoy the rest of my life, but I might not have many other close friends to enjoy it with because they are all busy working or being in codependent relationships. Oh well.
Click to expand...

^ This sounds pretty much like me right now. Everyone I know is either in some relationship or just partying it up with no future in sight.

I'm busting my ass now so when they hit 30 realize they need to work the next 20-30 years to be able to live with little worries, I will be able to sit back relax and enjoy myself.
 


amateursurgeon said:
If you've never read it, I really recommend reading Man's Search For Meaning by Victor Frankl. It's by a Jewish psychiatrist who ended up in a Nazi Concentration camp, and the effect it had on his views of happiness
Click to expand...

Love this book. One of the very few books I read time and time again.

Also, happiness is something that you have to find for your own. You're never going to become magically happy by following someone else's formula. Back when I was constantly broke, I always thought money would make me happy. Enter the green tea/acai shit from several years ago and I had more money than I knew what to do with. It didn't make me happy whatsoever. I was still the same person w/ the same problems. All money solves is money problems, it doesn't help patch up wounded relationships, etc etc.
 
FOuh6D5Q_4I
troob said:
Buy a sport bike, you probably just need some stimulation.

0.jpg
Click to expand...

Get into a new sport....adrenalin relieves stress = Happier!
HELL-YEAH-TT-RACE
 
IceToEskimos said:
For me, happiness is the absence of desire.

When I don't want anything, that's when I'm happiest.

So, I can either try to get everything in the world, so that I don't want anything because I already have it all...

...or I can work on reeling in my desires in order to live a more balanced life.

I wouldn't say that I'm happy, but I'm probably the least un-happy I've been in a long time.

For me, accomplishments have never resulted in happiness, no matter how large, it's something else.
Click to expand...

Yup this is it.

OP I'd say you have some very specific needs that aren't currently met and the longer they aren't met the worse you feel. You mentioned your social life is deteriorating. If I were you this is what I'd concentrate the most.

We are primarily social beings and if you feel your life lacks in that work on it. The easiest way to fix this is to just be around people more. It happens to me every time I work for a couple months and start neglecting my friends.

Another thing that usually makes people depressed is if there are several basic needs not being met at the same time. This can really fuck you up. In your case you mentioned you aren't happy with:
1. your current living situation
2. your relationships
3. your financial situation because of debts

Since you can't do anything about no. 1 right now concentrate on 2 and 3.

Because you already feel like you're working too much the 3. might be tough to fix, but from looking at what you said you might want to diversify a bit, tackle new business ideas to go from "I have to work again ughh" to "I can't wait to lock this shit down".

GL
 
I'm only ever truly unhappy if I have a health issue that ails me, and if I can't be happy, I'll be hopeful.

I put things in perspective all the time as well. Whether it's imagining the scenario from Earth's orbit or from the mind of a China man - perspective is enlightening.

Everyone, especially this crowd, should be practicing mindfulness. It's very simple(being present), the only thing you need to do to get better at it is to learn a bit more about it and practice it.

Regular exercise, stretches, sleep and diet. Crucial and necessary, your body will nag your mind to take care of it until you do.
 
I'm a lot happier now than I used to be. I think that as long as you allow your happiness to be dependent on your living situation, you'll be unhappy. It's not that I don't do that sometimes - because it's an easy habit to fall back into - but I'm definitely a lot happier when I make an effort to ignore the "obvious" things (living situation, relationships, income, etc.) as components of happiness. It's easy to tell yourself you're not happy because of some external or uncontrollable factor (and it lets you off the hook), but it's a waste of life and it puts your happiness in someone's control other than your own.

It sounds stupid, but one of the most useful things for me has been to make time to think about things I like. I've tied the habit to making breakfast because it helps set the mood for the day, but the main thing is just to do it regularly. At first it was really, really hard and it felt fake, but after a while it got easier. It doesn't matter if the things you think about are serious or super trivial. The main thing is just to force yourself to focus on positive things. It can take a while to stop following the good things with bad, too. For a long time, I would start off with something like, "I like that my dog is so sweet and adorable" and immediately move on to, "But someday she's going to die." That's just a habit you have to break. Everything changes - and even if you were somehow able to magically construct the perfect life, an unhappy person would still be unhappy because he/she would immediately start worrying about what's going to go wrong to end the "perfection". Your mood is directly influenced by what you focus on, so it makes sense to train yourself to focus on finding good things.

Also - Do good things. Frequency seems to be much more important than the magnitude of what you're doing. It's a lot harder to be unhappy when you feel like the world is a better place because of your presence. Helping animals, doing nice things for other people, even giving tiny compliments that you know will make someone happy...it all helps you feel happier.

The other big thing for me is to always be working towards something. I grew up around nursing homes, and if you look at senior citizens, you'll see a lot of depression. It's understandable. Health starts to fail, the people you relate with the most are dying, and you're forced to confront the idea that you don't have much time left, either. So, it's safe to say that anyone who manages to be happy in that situation can probably offer some insight into what actually makes us happy. The happiest seniors I've known were the ones who (a) were relatively healthy and socially connected, (b) knew how to enjoy the present vs. constantly looking ahead, and (c) stayed "in the game". Desire alone won't make you happy, but the feeling that you want something and you're actively bringing yourself closer to it on an ongoing basis definitely helps.

I completely agree with the exercise and proper eating, too. Even if you're not sold on the short-term mood benefits, there's no arguing that it's better for your long-term health - and it's hard to be happy when you're not healthy.
 
I'd be happier if you weren't ignoring me on Skype and let me know the status of my order with you.
 
Blame the modern capitalist society we live in. We've all been conditioned to work harder, aim higher and compete tirelessly against each other which drives us further apart... that's what our economies want us to do, and trust me they don't give a fuck about our happiness up there, we're all numbers and we're all expected to generate an ROI... keep feeding the monster.

Ironically, if you want to see what real happiness is travel to 2nd world countries in South America and Asia. That's where I've seen true happiness regardless of financial/living situation. Kids playing on the streets, neighbors meeting to play cards/dominoes every night, access to fresh local produce daily. There is a strong sense of community and appreciation for the simple things in life in those areas. Now of course they all dream of driving a Ferrari or owning a luxury Manhattan penthouse, but that doesn't stop them from appreciating what they have and living in the now.
 
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr_LKrpsefg]Shawn Achor: The happy secret to better work: TED TALKS: documentary,lecture,talk - YouTube[/ame]
 
A few more nuclear quotes for those who care to go after gold and aren't ready to settle for any BS. =)))))))))))
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj said:
Wisdom says I am nothing. Love says I am everything. Between the two, my life flows.
Click to expand...
Ramana Maharshi said:
Reality is simply the loss of ego. Destroy the ego by seeking its identity. Because the ego is no entity it will automatically vanish and reality will shine forth by itself.
Click to expand...

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj said:
Give up all questions except one: ‘Who am I?’ After all, the only fact you
are sure of is that you are. The ‘I am’ is certain. The ‘I am this’ is not.
Struggle to find out what you are in reality.

To know what you are, you must first investigate and know what you are
not.

Discover all that you are not -- body, feelings thoughts, time, space, this or
that -- nothing, concrete or abstract, which you perceive can be you. The
very act of perceiving shows that you are not what you perceive.

The clearer you understand on the level of mind you can be described in
negative terms only, the quicker will you come to the end of your search
and realise that you are the limitless being.
Click to expand...
 
faceblogger said:
Looks like you into Advaita. Glad to see! I love Ramana Maharshi.
Click to expand...

I heard the name quite a lot in Ram Dass' talks. Maharaji and Nasrudin also. There is a cycle of me feeling crushed by the thoughts and feels then going back and reading / watching videos like the one I just posted even though I have already posted it here before.

I watch or read something amazing, get uplifted, then seem to forget it and fall into a slump again. Thank hell for access to all this information or I'd be dead by now.
 
faceblogger said:
Looks like you into Advaita. Glad to see! I love Ramana Maharshi.
Click to expand...
Ramana is incredible. He sat in the cave for like 15 years, 10 of which he was completely silent. Yet people have come to sit in his presence even when he was silent!

And then you got Nisargadatta who lead a complete opposite lifestyle: in the midst of super busy city, running a business, having a family. Also completely opposite character: loud and angry at times. But it doesn't matter! Teaching is the same!

Jameel said:
I heard the name quite a lot in Ram Dass' talks. Maharaji and Nasrudin also. There is a cycle of me feeling crushed by the thoughts and feels then going back and reading / watching videos like the one I just posted even though I have already posted it here before.

I watch or read something amazing, get uplifted, then seem to forget it and fall into a slump again. Thank hell for access to all this information or I'd be dead by now.
Click to expand...
It is only natural. What comes up must come down.

Moods, thoughts, emotions, feelings, desires, doubts, fears can always arise. They are just objects on your screen of consciousness. They are not permanent. Just like you see keyboard and computer, you see your thoughts in your mind and emotions in your body.

You are right, without Internet, where would we be? :|
 
Andrey said:
Ramana is incredible. He sat in the cave for like 15 years, 10 of which he was completely silent. Yet people have come to sit in his presence even when he was silent!|
Click to expand...
A lot of those people aren't thinkers. They're followers. Sheep. Many call themselves "devotees".

Be very skeptical of anything that comes from Tamils, as a culture they are obsessed with collectivism & social status, fitting in as opposed to independent thought.
 
Uncle Tony said:
A lot of those people aren't thinkers. They're followers. Sheep. Many call themselves "devotees".

Be very skeptical of anything that comes from Tamils, as a culture they are obsessed with collectivism & social status, fitting in as opposed to independent thought.
Click to expand...
I agree with you hundred percent on being skeptical. How can you not be?

” Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”
- Buddha

Personally, I don't know much about Tamils and have no negative prejudice against them. I am sure their society is different and brainwashes ppl in a different way. Does it mean that our society conditions us in a better way? No, it is just different. Just look at the amount of misery in our society. Majority are mulnutritioned, never have energy, always taking "power naps", always drinking coffee, adderall, energy drinks. Mindless drones.

Is average American/Canadian/European capable of critical thinking?

The only reason you would put limitations on someone based on their nationality, religion, race, etc. is if you inside put limitation on yourself. Stop limiting yourself. Use every single thing you can get. Have an inquiring mind! Why is it outrageous to believe that some random dude sitting in a cave might understand his inner workings better than a Westerner. Don't you think there is a slight possibility that he had more time and less obstacles to investigate himself inside and out. Have you done that?

The whole point of this Advaita teaching is to question everything! Everything! And yes there are answers. That's the miracle that most do not realize that while pain is mandatory, suffering is optional! Suffering is most people's only teacher. But do you really need to suffer through every kind of experience to learn the lesson? Of course not! You can skip a few grades!

Is it a coincidence that all mystics agree? From Jesus to Buddha, from Ramana to Nisargdatta, from Sufi Muslim masters to Tibetian Buddhists. Do you really think that they are wrong? LOL If you think they are wrong, first listen to what they have to say and see if their words are in line your own experience of life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom