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Atlas Shrugged - Google Panda Tunnel
"As the Panda tunnel came closer, they saw, at the edge of the sky far to the south, in a void of space and rock, a spot of living fire twisting in the wind. They did not know what it was and did not care to learn.
It is said that catastrophes are a matter of pure chance, and there were those who would have said that the passengers of the Google White Hat train were not guilty or responsible for the thing that happened to them.
The man in Bedroom A, Car No. 1, was a professor of blogology who taught that individual webmaster's ability is of no consequence, that individual ranking is futile, that an individual conscience is a useless luxury, that there is no individual mind or character or achievement, that everything is achieved collectively, and that it's social signals that count, not the visitors.
The man in Roomette 7, Car No. 2, was a journalist who wrote that it is proper and moral to use compulsion 'for a good SERPs' who believed that he had the right to unleash Google disavow upon others - to wreck lives, throttle ambitions, strangle desires, violate convictions, to imprison, to derank, to DMCA - for the sake of whatever he chose to consider as his own idea of 'a good SERPs',which did not even have to be an idea, since he had never defined what he regarded as the good, but had merely stated that he went by 'a feeling' -a feeling unrestrained by any marketing knowledge, since he considered emotion superior to knowledge and relied soley on his own 'good intentions' and on the power of a fake Ripoff Report.
The woman in Roomette 10, Car No.3, was an elderly SEOMOZ teacher who had spent her life turning class after class of helpless webmasters into miserable noobs, by teaching them that the will of the Google is the only standard of good and evil, and that Google may do anything it pleases, that they must not assert their own personalities, but must do as White Hatters were doing.
The man in Drawing Room B, Car No. 4, was a newspaper publisher who believed that webmasters are evil by nature and unfit for rankings, that their basic interests, if left unchecked, are to lie, to cloak and fake testimonial one another - and, therefore, webmasters must be ruled by means of lies, cloaking and propaganda, which must be made the exclusive privilege of the Google guidelines, for the purpose of forcing men to work, teaching them to be moral and keeping them within the bounds of order and justice.
The man in Bedroom H, Car No. 5, was a businessman who had acquired his business, a mugshot list site, with the help of a government loan, under the Equalization of Rankings Bill.
The man in Drawing Room A, Car No 6, was a financier who had made a fortune by buying 'penalized' websites and getting his friends at Google to 'un-penalized' them.
The man in Seat 5, Car No.7, was a website designer who believed that he had "a right" to a contract, whether the website owner wanted him or not.
The woman in Roomette 6, Car no. 8, was a mommy blogger who believed that, as a consumer, she had "a right" to free products to "review", whether the webmasters wished to provide it or not.
The man in Roomette 2, Car No. 9, was a professor of economics who advocated the abolition of private website, explaining that intelligence plays no part in internet production, that webmaster's mind is conditioned by material tools, that anybody can run a website or a search engine and it's only a matter of seizing the computer.
The woman in Bedroom D, Car No. 10, was a mother who had put her two children to sleep in the berth above her, carefully tucking them in, protecting them from drafts and jolts; a mother whose husband held a Google webspam job enforcing guidelines, which she defended by saying, 'I don't care, it's only the spammers that they hurt. After all, I must think of my children.'
The man in Roomette 3, Car No. 11, was a sniveling little neurotic who wrote cheap little plays into which, as a social message, he inserted cowardly little obscenities to the effect that all black hatters were scoundrels.
The woman in Roomette 9, Car No. 12, was a housewife who believed that she had the right to elect politicians, of whom she knew nothing, to control giant industries, of which she had no knowledge.
The man in Bedroom F, Car No.13, was a lawyer who had said, 'Me? I'll find a way to get along under any search ranking system.'
The man in Bedroom A, Car No.14, was a professor of philosophy who taught that there is no mind - how do you know that the Google Panda is dangerous? - no reality - how can you prove that Google Panda exists? - no logic - why do you claim that websites cannot rank without backlinks? - no principles - why should you be bound by the laws of cause and effect? - no rights - why shouldn't you attach webmaster to their real Google Profile by force? - no morality - what's moral about running a search engine? - no absolutes - what difference does it make to you whether you rank or not anyway?. He taught that we know nothing - why oppose the orders of your Google superiors? - that we can never be certain of anything - how do you know you're right? - that we must act on the expediency of the moment - you don't want to risk your rankings do you?
The man in Drawing Room B, Car No.15, was an heir who had inherited his website, and who had kept repeating, 'Why should The Final Boss be the only one permitted to use Final Boss backlinks?'
The man in Bedroom A, Car no. 16, was a humanitarian who had said, 'The webmasters of ability? I do not care what or if they are made to suffer. They must be penalized in order to support the incompetent noobs. Frankly, I do not care whether this is just or not. I take pride in not caring to grant any justice to the able, where mercy to the noobs is concerned.'
These passengers were awake; there was not a man aboard the train who did not share one or more of their ideas. As the train went into the tunnel, the flame of CCarter's Torch was the last thing they saw on earth."
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What They Are Saying
- "Fuck CCarter" - Matt Cutts
- "Holy fucking shit! [..] These links = win" - 14thstreetcat
- "The Best links in the world" - Jackey
- "How Is This Even Black Hat?" - used2getlucky
- "Short of Google putting a backlink on their homepage, you can't get any better" - SwiftMoney
- "It's not possible for any mortal to get these links" - God
- "Good God Man!!" - [Unnamed MOD]
- "Are you a wizard?" - [Unnamed Ancient]
- "These are real authority sites" - Charto911
- "There is NOTHING ELSE LIKE THIS ON THE OPEN MARKET" - shawnhag
- "links like this are impossible to get" - TheAllSpark
- "I am blown away! Domains are authoritative and the links don't seem out of place. Everything looks.... natural." - bambu
- "These links are badass and look very natural..." - regl8r
- "I Never liked CCarter" - Rand Fishkin
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Going to order me some relevant links very soon. See ya guys in 2 years for my 3rd post.
