Clueless SEO Transcript

turbolapp

turbolapp

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I don't know, it's almost too ridiculous to be believed, but hilarious all the same.

The Clueless, but “Whitehat”, SEO - Sugarrae

Delightful tidbit:

...Clueless SEO: We read directly from the uh… sources. Read Google. Google will tell you inbound links are useless. The only way a link works is if it weighs heavier than your website. And weighs substantially more, it can help your website. So, you’re telling me just linking out to a bunch of people and that will help? And just links going out to a bunch of people? I mean it has to be relative as well. The information has to be relative for that link to have weight.
Clued In SEO: Not relative. Relevant. The link has to be relevant.
Clueless SEO: Well, look…
Clued In SEO: And I’m saying inbound links. Not outbound links. Not from the website to others sites. I’m saying from other websites to your site.
Clueless SEO: Where are the inbound links coming from?
Clued In SEO: From other relative sites. Relevant. Dang it, you’re screwing me up now. Other relevant sites....
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Lol. I worked for a company a few years ago who's manager I was doing work for told me to link other websites in the industry because doing so would give the company's website I was working on more authority and a higher PR.

Sounds like this Clueless SEO guy was reading the same information.
 
Rexibit said:
Lol. I worked for a company a few years ago who's manager I was doing work for told me to link other websites in the industry because doing so would give the company's website I was working on more authority and a higher PR.

Sounds like this Clueless SEO guy was reading the same information.
Click to expand...

I was taught that outbound links are considered in PageRank.
 
lmfao

Clued In SEO: Are you familiar with link building? Inbound links? Is that anywhere in your SEO…
Clueless SEO: Inbound links are useless.
...
Clueless SEO: First of all, inbound links don’t mean anything. Only reciprocating links have weight.
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Looks like i need to start an SEO business....

Certainly couldn't do WORSE than some of these guys.
 
kingofsp said:
After talking with different companies who had hired different SEO firms in the past, nothing surprises me anymore.
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Its a crapload of fun when the client tries to get their webdeveloper (me) to implement things the SEO firm is telling them that they need. Then realize the simple mediocre stuff like meta tags, alt atributes is something I already did that they paid 2 grands to the SEO firm to learn. I mean that's not SEO thats basic scripting, but I was wishing I had known the client would pay 2 grands for something like that ahead of time. :D
 
What I don't get about these kinds of people is, don't they realize at a certain point that what they're doing isn't working? Don't they realize at some point that they're not ranking no.1?

If this retard thinks onpage SEO is the be all/end all, how do they explain it away when they rank 5 or 7 or 9? They just throw up their hands, say "oh well", and move on to the next 'client'?

I guess I just don't get how any professional with pride in what they do wouldn't realize after a while that what they're doing isn't working.
 
A friend of mine referred a friend of hers to me to help her out with SEO. I had no idea what this girl's business was, but I'm always open to referrals.

It turns out she had bought an SEO/PPC franchise and was looking to outsource the work to me. Since I run an independent web marketing consultancy, I was shocked. I asked her, "So you want to say that you know how to do this, pay me to do it, charge the client more, and keep the money?"

The conversation pretty much ended when I laughed and offered her a sales position at my company. Some of these folks are in way over their heads.
 
kblessinggr said:
Its a crapload of fun when the client tries to get their webdeveloper (me) to implement things the SEO firm is telling them that they need. Then realize the simple mediocre stuff like meta tags, alt atributes is something I already did that they paid 2 grands to the SEO firm to learn. I mean that's not SEO thats basic scripting, but I was wishing I had known the client would pay 2 grands for something like that ahead of time. :D
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You need a special SEO package upsell Obv
 
If this retard thinks onpage SEO is the be all/end all, how do they explain it away when they rank 5 or 7 or 9?
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I can pretty much guarantee they're not ranking at 5 or 7 or 9 for anything worthwhile. Luck if they're in the top 50.
 
If you think that is bad, you should see what people are getting away with in Social Media.

I know of several "reputable" social media companies who are charging clients $5k a month...


...to get them a lot of facebook fans.
 
amateursurgeon said:
If you think that is bad, you should see what people are getting away with in Social Media.

I know of several "reputable" social media companies who are charging clients $5k a month...


...to get them a lot of facebook fans.
Click to expand...

Ya, for sure. SMM / SMO is the new SEO. In fact, I think this one is going to be worse (clueless 20 somethings, hey I use Twitter!). At least w/ SEO there is a degree of technical acumen involved.
 
I know people that claim to be SEOs and basically just use Adwords to get clients "#1 on Google" for their term. The clients are usually ecstatic till they realize they have a shitload of very expensive targeted traffic going to their shitty Frontpage site and a 99.9% bounce rate.
 
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