Does anybody have girlfriends/wives 'on your level'?

My woman and I have been together for many happy years. Here is what works for us:

- neither of us are driven by emotion*
- both of us are rational thinkers
- both of us treasure logic
- both of us are readers of good material.**


* We're not robots. We grieve. We love. We know joy and sadness. But we're driven by moral principles and an interest in bringing about good results. So, we're unlikely to scream in rage at each other. ;)

** We enjoy well-written material that teaches, introduces new ideas, or entertains in a thought-provoking manner. Of course, we have guilty pleasures (I like a good Stephen King novel). But we are unlikely to read "People" magazine. This has provided an endless source of interesting conversation.

This has worked for us. Your mileage may vary.
 


Meatytreats said:
Marriage is a balancing act... rarely is it ever going to be 50/50 and one could argue that it would be worse if that was the case. You just have to find the right person for you. The one that fills in your gaps and you in turn can fill in her gap. (Pun intended)...

As far as the same level... You are worried about money?

What about?

Intellectual ability?
Athletic ability?
Parenting ability?
Moral values?
Sense of humor?
One who can drink u under the table? :P

I mean it so much more complex then this trivial monetary shit! I know more poor people that are happy then I do rich people. And I know plenty of both!
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This, it isnt worth having money from both partners if you can not connect mentally.
 
Island said:
A few years ago I might have wanted marriage for myself, but I right now I view it as a massive risk.

I think if I ever have kids it'll be outside of marriage.
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Reminds me of a conversation I had with my buddy last night.

My buddy - "Sup Brah?"

Me - "Sup?"

My buddy - "Today might have been the single most profitable day of my life and I needed to share it with someone."

Me - "Oh yeah, how is that?"

My buddy - "I'm rich biatch!"

Me - "Are you drunk?"

My buddy - "Yeah getting there."

Me - "So why are you rich? Stock market is closed and you don't deal drugs anymore."

My buddy - "I got unengaged and returned a Tiffany's engagement ring. I haven't even realized the full benefits of it yet. The future value of savings is unreal. I'm crunching numbers right now for fun.

Needless to say, I'm getting fucking drunk and shitting on the bartenders chest tonight."

Me - "Lol! Cool, so guys weekend down the shore?"

My buddy - "Yup. Looks like my weekend just opened up."
 
Not having people on the same level as me is something that I fight with every day. It could be my girlfriend, coworkers, friends, family, or otherwise. In my gut, I want people around me that can challenge me and motivate me to move forward. This could be in regards to work, the gym, playing guitar - whatever.

I found myself getting really fucking angry when the people I wanted to be in that zone with me just weren't living up to my expectations.

What it came down to is realizing that it's my issue - not a problem with anyone else. I spent the larger portion of my first 20 years in chaos; crazy family, no money, inconsistency everywhere, living in cars/couches/music studios. It's quite obvious that the past is why I have such a high drive to be financially independent/responsible/accountable.

If you're pissed at your significant other for not living up to some level that you expect them to be at - that's your fucking problem. Acknowledge it and deal with it.
 
Would love to meet one on my level that is also compatible with me, so far the ones I have met have been obnoxious and a huge turn off. Maybe some day...
 
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