Family law judge beats own daughter for using the internet.

not defending the guy at all, belting your duaghter and shouting how fucking dare you etc doesn't exactly lead a good example.

But at the same time, I can empathise with parents, it's so fucking easy for kids to get fucked up, free access to internet makes kids so vulnerable, they could watch hard core porn, get radicalised by watching terrorist videos or just meet some stranger online and decide to run away with him/her.

A pedophile or something.

I'd hate to raise kids on this day in age.

Having said that I had free access to the internet since age 16. Watched all the porn I wanted in my room. With door locked and everything.

I turned out ok... sort of.
 


Ar Scion said:
Appropriate physical punishment does not show anger, hatred, rage, viciousness or malice. You speak calmly, explain why it's happening, how it helps the child and how to avoid it again. The child will take it as difficult in the moment, but ultimately cooperate acknowledging it's for their own good.

Most importantly, once it's all over, return to being affectionate with them and make sure they know you care for them. If you can adequately communicate that you are on their team and have their best interests at heart, the negative feelings don't come into it.
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Can't you see that your stated process just made a spanking about as effective as a candy bar in preventing them from doing the crime again?

All they have to fear then is a small, proportional occasion of pain on their rear end... Meanwhile they're thinking in their heads "Yep, the beer/sex/illegal MP3s were TOTALLY worth it!"

Like Amateursurgeon stated; if you've already watered it down that far, then you can just freaking TELL them why what they did was wrong and what will happen if they continue doing it. (The REAL consequences, not your made-up shit.)
 
One Question -

Are we talking spanking, or hitting? Because there is a difference.

A few slaps on the ass when I was bad as a child definitely helped me to learn how to behave (there are probably, other, better, techniques as well). This stopped when I reached the age of 6 or so, which seems like a fair age to switch to other discipline techniques...since I was able to start comprehending things better around then

Outlandish beating with weapons like we see in the video is a whole different realm. It leads to psychological damage..which is kinda apparent given the rationalizations in this thread
 
learningcurve said:
They would probably just fire them eventually wouldn't they?? Isn't that a consequence?
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Yes, a consequence that doesn't invovle one human striking another, which is what it looked like you were arguing for.

Probably not and I'm not going to waste my time trying to find any. I know what worked/works for my kids and will stick with it. I'm sure as the perfect parent you have every right to judge me.

I know I won't sway anyone or win any arguments in this thread and I am not trying to. I'm not here to defend my opinion, simply express it. I'm also not going to judge anyone for their opinions either.
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The father in the video has his opinions also.

I'm not sure how you could interpret either of my sentences as me personally judging you. I don't worry or judge people if they want to smoke cigarettes, but I would challenge them if they said that some research showed that it was good for them.


HiGhPeR said:
I'm not talking about somebody over 50 with a mental condition.. :confused:
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Yes, but if you were, you likely would not consider using violence on them. Why is that?


Ar Scion said:
Appropriate physical punishment does not show anger, hatred, rage, viciousness or malice. You speak calmly, explain why it's happening, how it helps the child and how to avoid it again. The child will take it as difficult in the moment, but ultimately cooperate acknowledging it's for their own good.
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LOL, it's not the removal of an infected appendix. It doesn't matter if you speak calmly or tell them it is for their own good, a child cannot help but feel like rage is being directed at them. The same could be said for battered wives or husbands.

Violence may literally have been the only way for cavemen to keep their children from running off into the woods, but modern humans have plenty of other effective methods.
 
lukep said:
Can't you see that your stated process just made a spanking about as effective as a candy bar in preventing them from doing the crime again?

All they have to fear then is a small, proportional occasion of pain on their rear end... Meanwhile they're thinking in their heads "Yep, the beer/sex/illegal MP3s were TOTALLY worth it!"

Like Amateursurgeon stated; if you've already watered it down that far, then you can just freaking TELL them why what they did was wrong and what will happen if they continue doing it. (The REAL consequences, not your made-up shit.)
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amateursurgeon said:
If you're able to speak calmly and reasonably to a child, and they are in an emotional state to listen calmly and reasonably, you could just explain it to them instead.
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Corporal punishment isn't used to rationalize. It's used to shape behavior. Id-driven behavior, to use a Freudian term.

Rationalizing alone is about as effective as "I know I shouldn't be smoking." It doesn't do shit for most of the smoking population.

Most people don't realize that there are two levels of conscious thought. The "I ought not to." Doesn't always match up with what feels good. That's why we do shit we often do shit we don't want to do.

Rationalizing will never change that. But behavior modification via incentivization? It's golden. And avoiding pain, if properly used, is one of the most powerful incentives out there.
 
Ar Scion said:
Corporal punishment isn't used to rationalize. It's used to shape behavior. Id-driven behavior, to use a Freudian term.
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Sadism and masochism were the main behaviors that Freud believed spanking led to.

That was in 1910. Modern psychology tends to be even more against it.
 
amateursurgeon said:
No, I don't... that's antisocial. My toddler sits down at restaurants and eats her food quietly. It's a fairly frequent occurrence that people come up to me and remark on how well behaved she is.

If she gets up, I just tell her to sit down again and she obeys.

This is going to sound weird, but I used positive reinforcement animal training principles to train my child. I reward good behaviour and make a fuss of her. If she starts acting out, I ignore her. If she starts whining, I tell her gently and firmly to stop whining, then ignore her if she continues. She doesn't whine any more, because she's realised it achieves nothing. It takes a lot of self-discipline on my part, but luckily I am an extremely patient person.

Believe it or not, children have an inbuilt need to please / get attention from their parents. That's a far more powerful (and flexible) tool than violence.

It took a bit of time to teach her that displeasing me means I'll ignore her, but now all I need to do is raise my voice slightly and she gets the idea.

I'm aware that this approach has its own dangers, so once she's older I'm going to switch to reasoning with her, but she's too young for that at the moment.
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Totally right. They HATE being ignored more than anything. Which is another reason why spanking doesn't work. You've just paid attention to them. Negative, positive they don't care as long as you stop ignoring them. When we're at home I do the same as you. I've literally watched my toddler drop to the floor in a temper tantrum and watch him watch me as I take a giant step over him and proceed to ignore him. He's usually done and forgotten about it in two minutes. And when he's behaving again I act as if he's suddenly appeared out of thin air and say things like "I'm so happy your here" "Hi there" "have you come to talk to me?"

If we're in public, he gets negative consequences. Sometimes time out but what we figured out works best for him is putting his toy or whatever he's playing with in the "sad box" For some reason that works better than anything.

Funny story: He used to throw a tantrum when we would tell him it's time to put on his pjs. NONONONONONONONONONONON. Finally I would say, "If you continue to behave like that, your PJs (you know the ones you hate at the moment) are going to go in the sad box. He would immediately get quiet, sit up, come over to me and not only behave to put on his pjs but help me put them on him.
 
Insomniac said:
I can assure you, being hit directly on the ass (even several times) is significantly less painful than a "miss". Being whipped across the forearm or hands hurts like hell, same with the upper thighs and lower back. The ass has a lot more pain tolerance than the thin skin around the rest of the body.
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I know this thread's probably old, but I feel virtually zero sympathy for that chick. She's clearly a brat and disobeyed her parents, she knows its being taped (her "wailing" stops the minute he leaves the room) and she's def hamming it up for the camera. Spanking is hardly abuse, it causes no physical damage and is really the only method parents have to discipline their children beyond pathetic "grounding" or "timeouts", which accomplish exactly nothing.

The only thing that really bothered me about that video was an (apparently)Christian man swearing like a sailor the entire time, because that tells me he has control issues. And that's the problem with spanking in the wrong hands, because it gives the psychotic totalitarian leftists a reason to label all inhouse disciplinarians "child abusers". Spanking isn't about "beating someone in the face", it's about a known quantified punishment for the child when he/she does something wrong. But the weak, spoiled, corrupted red-diaper-doper babies will wring their hands and fret, and cry big crocodile tears for the oh-so-horrific "child abuse" going on here. Get real, there's a reason she released it now. Statute of limitations ran out, it's a straight character assassination ploy because he cut her off, dude def has control issues, but keep the FUCKING brainwashed liberals and their Nazi hands away from child disciplinary issues, for the love of God!
 
hellblazer said:
I know this thread's probably old, but I feel virtually zero sympathy for that chick. She's clearly a brat and disobeyed her parents, she knows its being taped (her "wailing" stops the minute he leaves the room) and she's def hamming it up for the camera. Spanking is hardly abuse, it causes no physical damage and is really the only method parents have to discipline their children beyond pathetic "grounding" or "timeouts", which accomplish exactly nothing.

The only thing that really bothered me about that video was an (apparently)Christian man swearing like a sailor the entire time, because that tells me he has control issues. And that's the problem with spanking in the wrong hands, because it gives the psychotic totalitarian leftists a reason to label all inhouse disciplinarians "child abusers". Spanking isn't about "beating someone in the face", it's about a known quantified punishment for the child when he/she does something wrong. But the weak, spoiled, corrupted red-diaper-doper babies will wring their hands and fret, and cry big crocodile tears for the oh-so-horrific "child abuse" going on here. Get real, there's a reason she released it now. Statute of limitations ran out, it's a straight character assassination ploy because he cut her off, dude def has control issues, but keep the FUCKING brainwashed liberals and their Nazi hands away from child disciplinary issues, for the love of God!
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Typical christian. Beating children...ok. Cursing, not what jesus would do.
 
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hellblazer said:
I know this thread's probably old, but I feel virtually zero sympathy for that chick. She's clearly a brat and disobeyed her parents, she knows its being taped (her "wailing" stops the minute he leaves the room) and she's def hamming it up for the camera. Spanking is hardly abuse, it causes no physical damage and is really the only method parents have to discipline their children beyond pathetic "grounding" or "timeouts", which accomplish exactly nothing.

The only thing that really bothered me about that video was an (apparently)Christian man swearing like a sailor the entire time, because that tells me he has control issues. And that's the problem with spanking in the wrong hands, because it gives the psychotic totalitarian leftists a reason to label all inhouse disciplinarians "child abusers". Spanking isn't about "beating someone in the face", it's about a known quantified punishment for the child when he/she does something wrong. But the weak, spoiled, corrupted red-diaper-doper babies will wring their hands and fret, and cry big crocodile tears for the oh-so-horrific "child abuse" going on here. Get real, there's a reason she released it now. Statute of limitations ran out, it's a straight character assassination ploy because he cut her off, dude def has control issues, but keep the FUCKING brainwashed liberals and their Nazi hands away from child disciplinary issues, for the love of God!
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100% agree with all of the bold parts.
 
-God- said:
Oh do fuck off.

turbolapp's on the money.
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Thirded.

Anyone who thinks that curse words do less damage than hitting children has been so SEVERELY brainwashed that they make radical Islamists wearing dynamite look downright rational!

--->Which defines Hellblazer to a "T."
 
lukep said:
Thirded.

Anyone who thinks that curse words do less damage than hitting children has been so SEVERELY brainwashed that they make radical Islamists wearing dynamite look downright rational!

--->Which defines Hellblazer to a "T."
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That's not what I think, but words couldn't describe how little I care about explaining myself to deluded retards like you, -God-, or Turbo.
 
I'm a little surprised at how some of us consider spanking, even properly administrated to be abusive, but don't consider psychological abuse instituted via simulated neglect (ignoring the child, for instance) to have no impact on their psychological well-being.
 
Ar Scion said:
I'm a little surprised at how some of us consider spanking, even properly administrated to be abusive, but don't consider psychological abuse instituted via simulated neglect (ignoring the child, for instance) to have no impact on their psychological well-being.
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Are you trying to make a case that ignoring a kid's temper tantrum is abusive? Wow that's some major attempt at spin doctoring.

It's not even remotely buyable, even for the die hards out there, but I gotta give you props for the attempt.
 
turbolapp said:
Are you trying to make a case that ignoring a kid's temper tantrum is abusive? Wow that's some major attempt at spin doctoring.

It's not even remotely buyable, even for the die hards out there, but I gotta give you props for the attempt.
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I don't think it's abusive. Then again, I don't think spanking is abusive either.

I think they're on the same level, really. People who disapprove of spanking should disapprove of simulated neglect.
 
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