Family

parrot head

parrot head

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Dec 22, 2008
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Minneapolis Minnesota
Any of you have a parent who has dramatically changed at some point in your adult or teenage life? Perhaps began suffering severely from depression and/or an addiction problem i.e. alcohol/drugs?

Reason being...I'm almost at teh point where I'm losing hope for my mom, from 98-04 she had the life, made 80-100k/year ( no college education ), had respect in society and for herself. But in 05 things started going downhill for her and its continued since.

I lose sleep EVERY night worrying about her, praying for protection and that some day she'll FINALLY ask me or someone for help. I pretty much pay all her bills right now, phone, electric, property taxes ( which I don't mind doing 1 bit ), but I just don't know if it's the right thing to do anymore, is it helping her out or am I just enabling her so she can continue on as is...

I don't know why I'm even posting this on teh fucking wickedfires, but it truly is an area of my life that drains me HARD, and know I'd benefit knowing someone else out there who's experiencing/experienced this.

It's fuckin tough to talk about, let me tell you. Wrong forum? Perhaps.

Any of you guys gone through something similar, how have you handled it?

If you'd rather not share here, I'd like to chat,
 


She took care of you up until now, sacrificed everything when you were little.
Do whatever you can for her now. She deserves it. Whether it's financial help, or helping her get independent again. Sit and talk with her about what she wants in life now and how you can help her get to that point.
 
I don't even think this should be a question. I'd do anything I could for my immediate family regardless of the situation.
 
Meh it's not really a question, I'm pretty much the only family member of hers left that is even involved in her life, let alone makes effort to help. NONE of her brothers or sisters have talked to her in years, and fuck making any attempt to help her, they'd rather stay in denial ( which is extremely sad in itself ).

The people she hangs out with are worthless trash, if I didn't fear the law, I'd stick a fuckin 2x4 in em' all and watch them rot away.

I'm not really here to bitch about it, may seem like that though, more looking for other(s) who share or have had a similar situation to ask them what they've done, anyone?
 
Try to get her to see a doctor about depression, maybe she could try some meds or something? Idk, my mom is similar in that she is kind of an alcoholic (maybe? bottle of wine a day at least.. take that for what you will) but she is functional so its cool. I do know that if someone is really addicted, you cant change shit.. they have to want to change themselves, period. Good luck homie
 
medicalhumor said:
She took care of you up until now, sacrificed everything when you were little.
Do whatever you can for her now. She deserves it. Whether it's financial help, or helping her get independent again. Sit and talk with her about what she wants in life now and how you can help her get to that point.
Click to expand...

nailed it..


do this and then go from there, if she isnt going to try to change things for the better than i would say theres no point in going on the way things are. unless money isnt really an issue, in which case i would say you owe it to her anyway (assuming she was a good mother to you)
 
OP, there are support groups for the children/relatives of depressives & substance abusers. Look them up and join them, am sure they'll give you more help than you can get on a forum.
 
Op has a point. Paying for everything does enable the person to continue their destructive behavoir. But then again its your mom, stay strong; keep fighting the good fight.
 
I've definitely talked to her about it. It's been a couple years, but I even attempted an intervention ( after which we didn't talk for a few months; she ignored my calls and such ).

I'm gonna look into support group.
 
My parents are a bit like this.

Except they don't talk straight to me. It's like they have a mask on. Or don't wanna tell me a few things.
 
medicalhumor said:
She took care of you up until now, sacrificed everything when you were little.
Do whatever you can for her now. She deserves it. Whether it's financial help, or helping her get independent again. Sit and talk with her about what she wants in life now and how you can help her get to that point.
Click to expand...

This


She is your fucking mom man. Even if you are enabling her; you have no choice. Letting her fall on her own would make you a piece of shit.

So keep up the good work. Pay her bills.







I too have a parent who is extremely self destructive/addicted. All I can tell you is; try to just be there for her. Don't expect to change her. You can't help those who don't want to help themselves.

It can be tough as fuck. Try to keep a certain distance so her bad behavior doesn't affect you too much; but do give her support, compassion and love.
 
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