Flying to US - need advices

I spent 2 years in Gitmo because I removed a tag from a mattress prior to its ultimate purchase by the end consumer.

What are you, some kind of Joe Profaci?

I ran a crew of tag-rippers out of Vegas for about 4 years. We made some good money for a while. Most people don't realize that if you return that tag to the store, they have to give you store credit for a new mattress. It's like a federally managed proof of purchase program that the International Sleep Products Association managed to lobby into law in the early 60's.

So, you know, if you ever buy a mattress with no tag, that's because it was sold twice.
 


TSA won't check your laptop for what's on it. Customs, on the other hand, very well could. But it's highly unlikely they would ever do that unless they were interviewing/searching/butt-probing you for another reason. So the contents of your laptop really shouldn't be your primary concern.
 
you're from Amsterdam? You're fucked. I foresee a rectal examination by an old & hairy TSA agent in your future. Enjoy your vacation in the US & day.

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LOL @ People with social and financial status flying commercial.

LOL @ your reading comprehension. The implication is that most middle class commercial travellers outstrip the typical dregs of humanity employed by the TSA in both status and finance.