Fuckin Freaky Shit...

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Phre0nBurn

Phre0nBurn

I <3 JAILBAIT!
Mar 20, 2007
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So I go to bed at like 2 something in the morning this morning...

I end up having a dream... In the dream Im taking a piss...

Just chillin, takin a piss in the bathroom, and it starts spraying like I just had sex and now have morning wood...

So im like "Wtf dude", and I piss on my hand...

So I look down and..... My dick is cut open...

O_O

Wtf. This better not have meaning behind it...

So then I get into another dream, and in my dream my shoulder was killing me... It hurt BAD... I could feel it! I was just like Fuuuuuuuuck I need a massage... After a few minutes of this, I wake up...
Im on my stomach...
I life myself up, but Im extra heavy for some reason...
I look down and there is my left arm, underneath me... I do a double take, and touch it... and I cant feel it... I grab it with my left arm and lift it, and for a split second it's like its disconnected from my body... Big, limp, hot and I cant feel it at all...

Apparently Id been laying on the fucker all night, but god damn that was a trip... I had to to a "jerk my arm off" type deal to help get some blood back in it...

Ive never had anything fall THAT asleep on me... I mean, I couldnt feel SHIT in my arm... You could have cut it off.

What a fucked night.

And only 4 hours of sleep.

Moving on, anyone have any good ebay templates?
:)
 


haha i remember the first time i woke up and couldnt move my arm.. very freaky shit, ive had it happen a few times now since then
 
i fell asleep on my arm once, lost total feeling. freaked out a bit. lying on my back in bed, I threw my limp arm up with my good arm only to see the limp arm go up in the air and then come right back down with a thumb to my eye! Couldn't control it and couldn't stop it. Thunk! Thumb right in the eye. Ouch. So one gimp arm and one gimp eye after that encounter.
 
HAHAHA
I just pictured myself in the eye like that, and it cracked me up.
I could see that happening.

And I have actually had that happen to both my legs one time, not AS bad as my arm today, but close, and I couldnt feel or move them...
I have no idea how the fuck that happened, but I woke up and thought my legs were broken... Scared the shit out of me...
I sat up and couldnt get out of bed...
 
I did that shit once, and I threw my arm against the wall. It knocked a hole in the wall and took a huge chunk out of my knuckle. I couldn't even feel it and didn't realize I was bleeding all over the place.

Luckily I jerked off before it came back to life. I pretended it was another guy's hand.
 
Sweet.
Maybe we should meet up sometime and trade dead arms.





haha

Why dont you just put a rubberband on your dong, and pretend it isnt yours?
 
Funny thread. Those things happen to me from time to time, but never as dramatic as in some of your stories...

Jondoe0069 said:
Luckily I jerked off before it came back to life. I pretended it was another guy's hand.
Click to expand...

Sit on your hand for like 30 minutes until your hand goes numb, then jerk off like a madman. This gives you the feeling that a stranger is doing it for you.
Click to expand...
source: How to Stroke Your Cock: Masturbation Stroke Techniques

The fact that they used the term "stranger" (instead of "another person") has been cracking me up for years :D
 
bamboo said:
try walking if your leg ever gets like that
Click to expand...

This is actually quite difficult if your leg is completely asleep.

However, to tangetize this a bit (you know i had to) if you get a charlie horse (aka leg cramp) jump out of bed and walk around and it will immediately abate. I am surprised with the number of people I hear that get these and just lay there for 15 minutes until it slowly, and painfully goes away.
 
One arm? Try two arms. I've done that a couple times when the alarm clock is going off. No way in hell turning that puppy off for a minute or two. I have to literally press the snooze button with my foot. That shit sucks, but I have a habit of sleeping with my arm underneath my body, probably to keep them warm as it gets cold up here. I found a pillow usually helps.
 
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