Getting Married/Marriage Expenses

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My wedding cost way too much and I had to foot the bill. We got married in Thailand and there is still the tradition of giving a dowry to the brides parents. We had two ceremonies, morning (Thai traditional) and evening (Western). My wife had the wedding of her dreams though.
 


Not to over simplify things but marriage is kinda like a business in that if you choose the wrong one (significant other) it doesn't really matter how good you are at marketing, accounting and all the other stuff you're going to fail. But choose the right one and the sky's the limit.

Imo marriage is all about choosing the right person for you. I dated my wife for 7 years before proposing and my marriage is for the most part great (marriages do have ups and downs that's just normal) because I did my due diligence and made sure she would make a good wife beforehand. Don't be afraid to "hold out" if you're not sure this is the one remember this shit is forever or you pay out the pocket.

Don't get it twisted not all females are marriage material. I live in LA and here the percentages are very low. Most chicks here just want to spend your money, live the good life and not have to do shit except shop, meet their friends for coffee, get their weekly massages and party all the fucking time... which can be cool for a while... but like we say in the hood you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

Spend what you can afford and if your chica isn't happy with that and pouts then that's a red flag my friend.
 
NickRac said:
Yea I haven't heard of Wedding done around here for less than $30k...

Typically 200 Guests (big family here) at $150+ each plus extras (limos flowers etc) will get you to a good $35k easily
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This sounds like the wedding industry talking: "Spend $35,000. OBEY."

Sometimes perfectly normal women morph into bridezillas when it comes to their wedding. When I recall the most lavish weddings I attended, the couples at the altar mostly got divorced. Those who did it more modestly more often stayed married.
 
Roundabout said:
How do you NOT have sex on your wedding night? Seriously. I'm very fascinated to hear this story. What the hell else were you or your spouse thinking at the time? "Let's get some rest so we can wake up early and go to WalMart and buy doilies for our new house?"
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I've actually heard of this quite a bit. It doesn't necessarily say anything about the marriage...It's usually has to do with wayyyy to much booze and the vomit that follows doesn't make for setting the mood ya know? This day and age the sex is happening before and after the wedding night anways so who cares?
 
For those of you who are married, plan to be, or want to be, mind if I ask the reason?

Is there a benefit to which you gain access that you wouldn't enjoy were you to remain unmarried?

I'm not trying to be simple. I'm really curious. I always assume people have a rational reason for doing something.

If marriage fulfills a religious obligation, I get that. If it's a way to avoid disappointing family, I get that, too.

But, sex? Kids? Taxes? Bond with your significant other? Love? Marriage isn't necessary for any of those.

Asset protection and health care benefits are the only reasons I can brainstorm. But, few people mention that as their main motivation.

At my age (older than most folks here, I'll bet), this topic always leaves me scratching my head.
 
Roundabout said:
How do you NOT have sex on your wedding night? Seriously. I'm very fascinated to hear this story. What the hell else were you or your spouse thinking at the time? "Let's get some rest so we can wake up early and go to WalMart and buy doilies for our new house?"
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Okay, since you asked...

Wedding got over, we get to hotel, etc. We had the big suite with hot tub. I had champagne, etc in the room of course. We get there and the first thing that goes wrong is we literally can not get her out of her dress. The zipper broke and she's stuck in it.

We finally get THAT resolved and then she was hungry. We order up some food, eat, pour some champagne, and try the hot tub.

Naturally it didn't work. No water would even come out of the fucker.

By this point it ws 2:00AM. We had to be up for breakfast the next day at 7:00. I was still up for it but she wasn't - end of story.

The funny part is the next day the clerk at the hotel front desk couldn't understand why I was upset that the hot tub didn't work.
 
turbolapp said:
I've actually heard of this quite a bit. It doesn't necessarily say anything about the marriage...It's usually has to do with wayyyy to much booze and the vomit that follows doesn't make for setting the mood ya know? This day and age the sex is happening before and after the wedding night anways so who cares?
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I ordered 8 beers the night of my wedding.

I drank maybe - MAYBE - a total of 1. The damn waiters would zoom by and take the glass every time I was out dancing.
 
For me it wasn't the weddings that were expensive, it was the divorces. Marriage is the leading cause of divorce, y'know...
 
turbolapp said:
I've actually heard of this quite a bit. It doesn't necessarily say anything about the marriage...It's usually has to do with wayyyy to much booze and the vomit that follows doesn't make for setting the mood ya know? This day and age the sex is happening before and after the wedding night anways so who cares?
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Too much booze, or tired, I know on my wedding night, by 10 PM I was exhausted from pics and parties and hair and OMG it was insane, started at 5 am, plus I was half stressed all day, defintely not worth the week of marriage I had before it was annuled lol lol this is why I don't like weddings, rules set by who? I will never put thousands into a wedding, my family paid for it, I wanted to elope and get it over with hahha
 
turbolapp said:
I've actually heard of this quite a bit. It doesn't necessarily say anything about the marriage...It's usually has to do with wayyyy to much booze and the vomit that follows doesn't make for setting the mood ya know? This day and age the sex is happening before and after the wedding night anways so who cares?
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I had way too much to drink at my wedding, was exhausted after being up the night before till 3am at my bachelor party, and by the time we got to the hotel at midnight by the airport where we had to be up at 6am the next day to catch a flight, I was so tired I could have fallen asleep, but I was not about to let my only wedding night go without getting some.

There are certain things in this life you just want to do for posterity's sake. You're absolutely right, most of us I'm sure had sex before-hand, but if you believe in the tradition of marriage, you almost need to believe in the silly concept of carrying your wife through the threshold and then FADE OUT.
 
Sharksfan said:
Okay, since you asked...

Wedding got over, we get to hotel, etc. We had the big suite with hot tub. I had champagne, etc in the room of course. We get there and the first thing that goes wrong is we literally can not get her out of her dress. The zipper broke and she's stuck in it.

We finally get THAT resolved and then she was hungry. We order up some food, eat, pour some champagne, and try the hot tub.

Naturally it didn't work. No water would even come out of the fucker.

By this point it ws 2:00AM. We had to be up for breakfast the next day at 7:00. I was still up for it but she wasn't - end of story.

The funny part is the next day the clerk at the hotel front desk couldn't understand why I was upset that the hot tub didn't work.
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Sharks.
Ok, got it now but the problem here is with your wife (no offense). You mentioned initially you "got none" on your honeymoon and still didn't after the marriage, so the problem as I see it from my limited scope of what you've said is your wife just isn't into sex - which is actually not as abnormal as it sounds. I have a few friends who tell me the same stories... theyre always in the mood, the wife never is, but its usually after you have kids that this can happen, not before.

She may have low self confidence issues, or perhaps she's still living in the shadow of strict parents and doesnt feel comfortable with it. In any case, hey, you married her for better or worse, I'm sure you knew what you were getting into, and that is the life you have chosen - so either work on freeing her inhibitions through counseling, or come here and jerk off at the bobby pics like im sure lots of these guys do - lol.
 
Yeah if anythings a mood killer it's having kids! They're exhausting and it makes it to where you have to sex at set times in set places. All three variables can be total downers. But you kinda always know that this too shall pass. And, hell, wtf are mother-in-laws for if not to come down and watch the kids for your get away weekends ;)
 
WritingSolution said:
You see, when a marriage fails, which inevitably they all do, the man gets booted out on his ass. Sometimes accompanied by a child or two.

Instead of being broke or between checks, a nice stash will help you rent a place, such as a hotel room, before getting a more permanent residence.
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If idiots could fly, your house would be an international airport.
 
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My first marriage went into the dumpster after the mrs had back surgery. She became insane, got a job at my place of business then eventually wanted to "spend the night" with some coworker who "understood" her.

It didn't matter that I worked from 3pm-8am every single day (I slept at one job), then came home at 8 to take care of a toddler and infant before repeating.

I took the kids and left :D

Wife number two won't work. She just won't. She doesn't clean much, takes care of kids ok. We are toeing the line...

Every person I have met under the age of 35 has been divorced or is in a loveless hell of a marriage.

Sometimes people get lucky and I hope the OP does for sure.

Either way, it's wise to be prepared.

You don't want to be tossed on your ass while she keeps the car and house and freezes your assets until you can get the law involved to fix what needs fixing.
 
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