Have you guys heard of Tucker Max?

dsm56

dsm56

breasts
Oct 10, 2006
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This guy has got some funny fucking stories, and a good attitude.
TuckerMax.com

Definite wickedfire material.

This is the funniest story I've read so far
TuckerMax.com | The Absinthe Donuts Story

10:20: We station ourselves in the kitchen. A fat girl walks in. It's game time. "Well, say goodbye to all the leftovers."

10:21: Apparently, this fatty seems to think she can hang. The Medina Division made better tactical decisions:

Fatty "What did you say?"
Tucker "Can you not hear me? Are your ears fat too?"
Fatty [Look of astonishment, stares at my friends cracking up] "EXCUSE ME?"
Tucker "I'm sorry. Really I am. [I open the fridge] Would you like cheesecake or chocolate cake? Probably both, I'm guessing."
Fatty [Turns and leaves in utter astonishment]
Tucker "Hey Sara Lee, I was only kidding! COME BACK HERE--MY FRIEND LIKES TO GO HOGGIN. MORE CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN! IT'S LIKE RIDING A MOPED!!"
Click to expand...
 


also see
The Phat Phree's "Look At My Striped Shirt!" Available December 26th

intro:

Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I’m coming home with some pussy tonight! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!

My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too!

I figure we’ll kick off the night with some Golden Tee! I am going to smack the shit out of that little white ball! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can drive that pretend golf ball 600 fucking yards tonight! I’m that fucking pumped!
 
It's a funny read. Once. Then you realize he's just a typical douchebag, and all his stories are all the same (and most likely fake). He was popular back like 5 or 6 years ago when his website was starting to get big.

Opie and Anthony even called him out on their show and exposed him for the liar he is:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAbreeMofRg"]YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]
 
The movie was pretty fucking terrible.

It had maybe 5-10 minutes of pretty funny dialogue, other than that it was a big heaping pile of shit.

-Scott
 
2:36: I am not feeling good. Mr. Absinthe is about to send me a bill for his services.
2:44: I make it to the toilet. I can feel the vomit coming.
2:45: My intestines, without subtlety, tell me that I have a higher priority. I nearly pass out on the toilet from my colon's version of Shock and Awe.
2:47: As I am crapping out my internal organs, Mr. Absinthe teams with Ms. Poetic Justice to eject everything in my stomach right out of my face.
2:48: I lean to my left to prevent vomit from getting on my clothes, but my shift moves my ass off the side of the toilet seat and causes me to shit watery diarrhea all over the toilet seat and floor.
2:49: I look over at the shit, catch a whiff of it, and start vomiting again. On top of the shit.
2:53: I stand up, clean myself, and survey the damage. It looks like a tapioca abortion.
2:58: I come out of the bathroom and inform the line that "I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.
_____________________________________________________________________

Priceless fake or not!!
 
Tucker is a talented writer who found his niche amongst pathetic guys worshipping him for his lack of tact to women. He's riding it for all it's worth.

You would all do the exact same thing.
 
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