Hewlett Packard: You Fucking Suck

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xmcp123 said:
Ok. So this is a tech support rant.
I have an HP Pavilion Laptop. It is my "good" laptop. Meaning it's powerful. Not good. It would be acceptable, except that their tech support BLOWS.
Here is my lovely story. Problem 1 only exists to show how fucking ridiculous problem 2 is.

Problem 1: Hard drive roasts. HP sends me a hard drive with little to no instructions(fine since I'm a techie) and I reinstall it. The tech there acts like I'm an idiot when I even mention recovering the hard drive. Keep in mind this is when the laptop is 2 months old. Well, he was wrong. Almost everything was recoverable, and he wanted it immediately shipped back. Had I listened to him, I would've lost thousands of hours of programming work (it was 2 months old, so thought I had some time before needing backups)

Problem 2: The "m" key on my laptop breaks off. I look at the underside of the key, and it's quite obviously a problem with the key, not keyBOARD. I talk to online support, and they tell me I have to send it in for 3 weeks to get the damn keyboard replaced.
Keep in mind last time I sent one in to them (prior to this laptop) they actually re-formatted the friggin hard drive for a RAM based problem. So I'm obviously not doing that.
She tells me to talk to phone support for more options.
So I call. He says I have to send it in. Still not happening.
After much pressure, he mentions a "HP certified" tech at the store where I bought it can replace it. But it'll still be weeks while they order the part.
I'm still at college. I don't live near where this laptop was bought, and I'm not allowed to have a car on campus yet. So this is still an issue.

We eventually get down to the fact that I need a friggin KEY not a keyBOARD if it's goign to be that much of an issue.
Nope, they can't even send me a friggin "m" key to replace myself.
I say "If I'm fine with voiding my waranty, can you send me the part"
"No, but you can buy one then we can send it to you"....

How Fucked Up is it that they will send me a hard drive to replace on my own with little to no instruction, but I can't get them to send a fucking KEY or a keyboard to replace on my own.
Even if I volunteer to void my waranty in the future?

I used to friggin fix computers when I was in early high school. Yes, including laptops. I know how to replace a damn part.

FUCK YOU HP. I CANT JUST "NOT DO" MY WORK FOR 3 FUCKING WEEKS.
:boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid::boid:

Anyone else have some shitty tech support stories? I'm in the mood.


PS: Obligatory Related Keywords: HP Sucks, HP Support Sucks, Hewlett Packard Sucks, Hewlett Packard Support Sucks, Don't Buy from HP if you actually need your fucking laptop
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HAHA stop your damn whining and get back to work :)
 


Here is a small story.

About a month ago I got a MOTO Q from sprint. So I am all happy playing with my new phone learning what it can a cannot do. Then I realize I cannot get on the internet. So I call sprint and they walk me through some steps. It doesn't work so they transfer me to the "real tech support" LOL. Ok, so this person has me re-boot my phone. However they leave out a critical step that I did with the last "fake tech support person" had to do with entering a number code and hitting talk/send. No sir you do not have to that this time.
Ok is the phone rebooted, Try to connect, Doesnt work your phone is defective you will have to send it in. To get a new one...OK FUCK YOU....Hang up phone.

Then I decide to take the phone and go through the steps again and include the ones I left out from the first person. What do you know my damn internet works on my phone now I am a fucking genuis because I can do 1 + 1 = 2. I could not believe it.
 
I got an HP PC that I have been puttin the friggin leashes on for over 3 years now. It was the first one I bought when I got going online with no idea. Fortunately this mean SOB is still trucking but I have to hit the top of the tower real hard for it to start up and display picture. I took the monitor off before and it was fine on other machines so whenever it is time for it's ole monthly shut off, restart I just slam the piss out of it and it fires. Got a load of shit on that thing. I've been getting all my shit built, even my laptops.
 
I got an HP Compaq a couple of years ago, and the keyboard started fucking up after a month. Keys were breaking... etc. Then the motherboard fried itself one day while I was at work. Bitch to replace. The motherboard fried itself because so much dust got sucked up the fan it just stopped. Never had this problem before, especially not on a laptop 8 months old at the time.
 
I got a IBM lenovo. The hard drive fried within 2 months. I talked to the guy on the phone. He sent me a box i got on thursday. Put in mail late friday got it back on tuesday. THOSE GUYS DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I WAS WITHOUT A LAPTOP FOR like 2 BUSINESS DAYS! I will never buy an IBM again.
 
oh, another story most of you won't believe!!!

I build my own PC about 3-4 years ago. I bought a decent graphics card for $350 last year. It wouldn't boot w/ it in it. I found a trick. If i start the computer then insert the card then hit the reboot button. It'll work.
 
My desktop had problems a while back. I couldn't figure it out on the software level, so I pulled the case, got out my tools and set to work. Couldn't figure it out, but I'd managed to narrow it down to a few particular problems it could be, so I thought that info would help when I took it to the store.
First thing they tell me is that I've voided the warranty by opening it up...
After about 20 minutes of arguing with them and showing them what I'd managed to figure out (I'd narrowed the problem to the motherboard, as a number of the bus lines had shorted. They figured it must have been a bug that fried itself.)
Anyway, they fix it (although it takes 2 weeks and they formatted the HDD as well, even though they just had to swap the MB which is maybe 3 hours work).

Finally, last summer, my PSU overheats and explodes due to all the dust in the comp. I hadn't opened it to clean it out due to fear of "voiding my warranty" again on an expensive component, like my graphics card.
I bring it in... Apparently this time the warranty is void because I hadn't taken "due care in maintaining the system"...

How the fuck can I maintain the system and clean out the dust if I'm not allowed to open the case!?!?
This point was lost on them... So yeah, I'd say I'm never buying from them again, but most of their stores have shut down anyway.

nickycakes said:
my little brother takes all his keyboards when he buys them, removes all the letters, and arranges them in alphabetical order, changing them from QWERTY to ABCDEF. its fucking hilarious to see someone who can't touchtype try to use it.
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A guy I know at uni did that by setting his QWERTY keyboard to a DVORAK reference. Even people that could touch type didn't know the DVORAK keys.
 
hahahha.. HP .. hahaha

Seriously, I used to own two printers by HP. The day I chugged them through the closed window was the best day of my life.

As for tech support: I just bypassed them.

(Prior to that day, I was OK with my HP printers. The stupid things would smear and have hickups and paper jams (like ALL bubblejets I ever seen) but yes, we worked those things to the death as well.)

I needed to print a diagram for my final thesis at University (AAARGH!!) Everything prints fine, word, PDF - no problem. Just not that program. Printer simply refuses to cooperate.

I call tech support and bored housewife starts the usual spiel: "have you upgraded.."

Knowing the rap, I interrupt bored housewife, rattling down the prerequisites: "Yes, this is an Athlon 3K, running WinXp, I have upgraded the printer driver, I have the latest windows patches, I have upgraded my BIOS just yesterday, deactivated any AntiVirus and Anti-Spamware guards and downloaded and installed the latest official drivers by HP. How can you help me, as this printer simply refuses to print from SmartDraw?"

Her reply was just a stumbled "err..uhmm,.. err.. I'll patch you through to the techs."

"Thank you"

Stupid POS still refused to print anything decent, so I threw it out, got a brother laser printer for under 100 Euros and damn... That thing just works. Out of the box, never a problem. HP? Never again.

::emp::
 
HarveyJ said:
My desktop had problems a while back. I couldn't figure it out on the software level, so I pulled the case, got out my tools and set to work. Couldn't figure it out, but I'd managed to narrow it down to a few particular problems it could be, so I thought that info would help when I took it to the store.
First thing they tell me is that I've voided the warranty by opening it up...
After about 20 minutes of arguing with them and showing them what I'd managed to figure out (I'd narrowed the problem to the motherboard, as a number of the bus lines had shorted. They figured it must have been a bug that fried itself.)
Anyway, they fix it (although it takes 2 weeks and they formatted the HDD as well, even though they just had to swap the MB which is maybe 3 hours work).

Finally, last summer, my PSU overheats and explodes due to all the dust in the comp. I hadn't opened it to clean it out due to fear of "voiding my warranty" again on an expensive component, like my graphics card.
I bring it in... Apparently this time the warranty is void because I hadn't taken "due care in maintaining the system"...

How the fuck can I maintain the system and clean out the dust if I'm not allowed to open the case!?!?
This point was lost on them... So yeah, I'd say I'm never buying from them again, but most of their stores have shut down anyway.


A guy I know at uni did that by setting his QWERTY keyboard to a DVORAK reference. Even people that could touch type didn't know the DVORAK keys.
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Isn't that like the chicken egg thing.

Sir you shuold have brought it in. We would have cleaned it for you. Would only take us 2 weeks to fuck it up more.
 
I've had a hp media pavillion laptop for a couple years now. I beat the shit out of it - leave it in garage on in the middle of summer, my 2 year old was standing on it today... It's traveled all over the country with me in a bookbag. My older kids use it daily, and my wife -- all who think that it's o.k. to say "YES" to anything that pops up no matter the warning level.

never an issue other than the occasional virus/spyware cleaning sessions :)

I'm convinced it will never die.

I've got a 4 year old HP box sitting here still working, and other then replacing the power supply and fan a year or two ago with some spare ones I had - never a problem.

Every hp printer I've had - I've thrown the hell away. You would think their damn printers would work on their pc's at least. Support is stupid - but let's be honest. There isn't a PC company out there with good support (dell maybe?)
 
I have a Dell for personal use (school and shit) and I never have any problems. Go me! :)
 
stmadeveloper said:
I've had a hp media pavillion laptop for a couple years now. I beat the shit out of it - leave it in garage on in the middle of summer, my 2 year old was standing on it today... It's traveled all over the country with me in a bookbag. My older kids use it daily, and my wife -- all who think that it's o.k. to say "YES" to anything that pops up no matter the warning level.

never an issue other than the occasional virus/spyware cleaning sessions :)

I'm convinced it will never die.

I've got a 4 year old HP box sitting here still working, and other then replacing the power supply and fan a year or two ago with some spare ones I had - never a problem.

Every hp printer I've had - I've thrown the hell away. You would think their damn printers would work on their pc's at least. Support is stupid - but let's be honest. There isn't a PC company out there with good support (dell maybe?)
Click to expand...


Dell has decent support. The majority of the reps speak fluent English.
 
I have a 6 year old compaq laptop that cost me about £1400 when I bought it. The screen cable has gone twice (£35 per time to replace). Otherwise, perfect. I'm now really reconsidering if I can be bothered to upgrade as it still runs fine, and it's very well built.

It's a real shame that when they merged, it was the shitty HP laptops that got used instead of the solid Compaq ones.
 
amateursurgeon said:
I have a 6 year old compaq laptop that cost me about £1400 when I bought it. The screen cable has gone twice (£35 per time to replace). Otherwise, perfect. I'm now really reconsidering if I can be bothered to upgrade as it still runs fine, and it's very well built.

It's a real shame that when they merged, it was the shitty HP laptops that got used instead of the solid Compaq ones.
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The "HP Compaq" models still seem decent. The models with both names, not one or the other. They are being sold as their business notebooks.
 
I dread scenarios where you have to phone these big companies technical support departments up as quite often it is a bunch of airheads in a call centre reading off a script it drives you mad when they just do not seem to be listening to what you say to them.
 
Yeah dude.. a year ago my computer wouldn't turn on and I called tech support and they made me do all this crazy shit..

"OK NOW UNPLUG MONITOR AND KEYBOARD AND EVERYTHING NOW TRY TO POWER ON"

YOU THINK THATS GOING TO FIX IT YOU FUCK HEAD

I'm never buying an HP again in my life.
 
in my case, thumbs up hp; thumbs down dell.

i have an nc8430 business class laptop and love it. upgraded my hdd/mem and it kicks ass. i did pay extra $200 for the on-site next day service; if the laptop needs to be shipped to be repaired, i was told that they would advance me a new laptop that was equivalent.

dell, on the other hand is another story i recently bought a "scratch and dent" unit last week to fuck around. here's my story:

1. received the unit with pci slot covers missing and no dvd recovery disc as ordered.

2. called customer service, on hold for 30 min only to be told that i needed to talk to tech support. rep transfers my call.

3. waited another fucking 30 min. tech support gives me the part numbers but says i have to go back to cust service to order. i'm
like what the fuck? another call transfer

4. on hold 40 min this time. ironically, their hold message is "we'll solve your case on the first call"? after talking to another cust service, she says these parts are not "order-able". i ask to speak to a supervisor and she promptly hangs up on me.

5. talk to another rep and she finally gets me to a supervisor who orders these parts for me. all for parts that could not cost more than 10 cents.

i am still fucking pissed about wasting my time that i am going to smear my dog's shit inside the computer and send it back to say that something "smells funny".

i would probably lose $400 i paid for the pc, but i don't care.

these dell mother fuckers need to get their "shit" together.:mad:
 
I've had an HP dv6600 for around a year.. No problems other than the paint chipping off the touchpad from so much use lol.

Just got a HP elite desktop with the tv tuner & all that horseshit last month.. thing is a beast.. Q6700 6 gigs of ram.. I love it
 
Weird how the stories differ.

Dell support - Nothing but great.

Had an Axim PDA by them that broke, next day the replacement model was delivered.

Had a Dell Business Server at a company I worked for - Support line was extremely knowledgable, tech was there in 24 hrs.

Yes, you get an occasional Indian (in Germany --> polish/russian) on telephone support, but I know how to deal with those. After that hurdle, no problem.

An old trick:
Tell the telephone support RIGHT AWAY that you are running Linux and you are with a good techie in a matter of seconds.

::emp::
 
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