Perpetual traveller, bro. No taxes, all the fun.
I lived there for a few years.
The problem with Thailand is that it sucks you in. Going back to the "real world" gets increasingly difficult the longer you stay unless you find a way to avoid all of the pitfalls of living in a place where people show up at 10pm for a 7pm meeting and blame it on traffic (and then 10 minutes later they slip and admit they took the BTS skytrain).
Besides the women and everything, the real danger is settling for mediocrity. That really started getting to me while I was there. You go to a dive bar that's the size of my living room and have to put up with poor service, demands to buy the staff drinks, etc and the beer isn't any cheaper than it is in a proper sports bar back home.
Or you go to a nice restaurant (with western food) and the staff are horrible. The food is so-so and when the bill comes it's nearly as much as eating at a nice restaurant in the US.
Both the expats and the Thais who hang around westerners are heavily weighted with con-men/women, thieves, liars, and sociopaths. So you tend to accept that friends will f**K you over. Again, you just accept mediocrity in your day to day relationships because the other choice is locking yourself in your room and never going anywhere.
Seriously, I had a good friend who I had known for several years go off the deep end there. He ran out of money and stole some girl's life savings. That was after borrowing money from everyone he could until word got around to how deep in a hole he was. He eventually got deported for overstaying his visa.
Or another friend of mine just recently took a dive out of his apartment building window. He literally only had 20 baht left to his name. In fact, a friend of mine saw him at a food stall ordering noodles about an hour before he jumped and he was short 15 baht that she lent to him.
It just nibbles at you bit by bit until you just start seeing this stuff as normal. You don't even notice it until you get back on a plane and land someplace where common sense and common courtesy mean the same thing you faintly remember them meaning.
But, I still love the place. I just can't take it full-time anymore. It's too much of a grind. It's too depressing.
And no, I'm not just bashing them because I'm a stupid American who expects everyone to be like us. I've lived all over the world. My last passport was starting to look like a phone book it had so many page inserts in there.![]()
(If you could stay as long as you wanted)
I'm torn about moving there & giving up all my relationships vs banging tons of girls while saving money living next to a beach area.
I'm curious what the "long termers" have to say about this (if any of you are out there)
Depends on the lifestyle you plan to lead. You said "banging tons of girls while saving money living next to a beach area", so I'm guessing tourist area, and you'll just hang out at the foreigner restaurants and bars? If so, you'll probably hate it within 6 months, or if you're lucky, will just be weary of that lifestyle and want to move on. More than likely, you'll come away thinking all Thais are liars, cheats, and thieves, but that lifestyle is the equivalent of hanging out with hookers on the Vegas strip for 6 months, so...
If you integrate yourself into society though, learn the language, get some typical middle-class neighbors and friends, then it can be quite good. You know, normal people. Not people who work at a girlie bar, but engineers, vets, bank managers, etc.
Every place has its pros and cons though, so it's up to you. There's various facets of society here that make me want to put my head through a wall, and there's other facets of society I love. When I weigh it out, plus look at the direction the world is heading, I'm happy I'm in Asia.
It's really just like anyplace else. If you hang out with scumbags, hookers and general lowlifes then you will have a negative experience. A soi 4 loser is no different from the losers in Pattaya. If your drawn to the Sukhumvit white ghetto or Pattaya/Phuket or other similar areas then you surely get what you deserve. It's all about who you are and the choices you make.
I love Thailand, always will, and have made some great life long friends. It's all there, your choices will be what determines the quality of your experience. The Thai people are great, the food is the best in the world and the diving and beaches are second to none. The internet can test your patience and the laws and police are a little wanky, but once you learn your way around the pitfalls it's a damn nice place to be. For the most part, people leave you alone and let you do your thing.
If a person is going to live there for any length of time learn the language, not the bargirl version, but the proper thai. Make some real friends outside of the foreign areas, real people with good solid values and big hearts. The vast majority of Thais have great big hearts and a natural smile. What the average foreigner sees and experiences is such a tiny part of the big picture. True there are tons of bad elements, but it's the same the world over. A little common sense goes a long long way.
I'm in Bangkok right now and I tell you, even having lived here for 12 months earlier, the place in general is a fucking dump filled with stupid people. I hardly go outside before evenings because of the heat, pollution, noise and ridicolous traffic.
Don't ever move to Thailand to think you're going to make some life for yourself here. It's not a first world country where such things are possible. The population here is largely uneducated and dumb, how else can they live with such mindboggling noise, ugly, pollution, corruption, not to mention eletric wires hanging freely down the street.
I think the Thais sorely need western people to keep them from degenerating into south-east Asia dumbass mode, like Myanmar and Cambodja, but unfortunately the elite like the way things are and the lower class thinks foreigners are for money only. They don't get it and likely never will.
So my advice is to spend as much time in Thailand as you can afford, without ever thinking of settling down. It's so pathetic to see what people will settle with in Thailand, horrible quality of life. Either living like peasents or like thieving, scamming scum.
Like TheFarang wrote, the problem is the longer you stay, the longer you think you can't go back, which is totally false. Having both options make you less committed to either place.
So go to Thailand, live there for as long as your living standard is significantly above normal Thai standards. If you ever see the time coming that you'll not be able to keep up a well above average living standard, then get out, because you're about to become another pathetic farang hustling his way for his hooker girlfriend.
Also, it helps if you treat these people with what I call emphatic disdain. You ARE better than 90% of these dumbass peasents (and foreigners here) and do not let their stupidity pull you down, but don't waste time arguing with them. If you want to make Thai friends, do realize that this is a class society, which means middle class and up is a nessecity to not poison your life and mind with underclass toxic thinking. Also realize that the upper classes, do not give two shits about the poor. They live in a dream world of no consequence and with snotty attitudes like you wouldn't believe it.
All in all, come to Thailand, enjoy the beaches, sun, water and women, but never forget that it's not a place to call home.
It's really just like anyplace else. If you hang out with scumbags, hookers and general lowlifes then you will have a negative experience. A soi 4 loser is no different from the losers in Pattaya. If your drawn to the Sukhumvit white ghetto or Pattaya/Phuket or other similar areas then you surely get what you deserve. It's all about who you are and the choices you make.
I love Thailand, always will, and have made some great life long friends. It's all there, your choices will be what determines the quality of your experience. The Thai people are great, the food is the best in the world and the diving and beaches are second to none. The internet can test your patience and the laws and police are a little wanky, but once you learn your way around the pitfalls it's a damn nice place to be. For the most part, people leave you alone and let you do your thing.
If a person is going to live there for any length of time learn the language, not the bargirl version, but the proper thai. Make some real friends outside of the foreign areas, real people with good solid values and big hearts. The vast majority of Thais have great big hearts and a natural smile. What the average foreigner sees and experiences is such a tiny part of the big picture. True there are tons of bad elements, but it's the same the world over. A little common sense goes a long long way.
I do agree with your post, except, would putting such a big effort into integrating in Thailand be smart considering how difficult it is to obtain VISA, work permit, run a business, get legal standing etc.
(If you could stay as long as you wanted)
I'm torn about moving there & giving up all my relationships vs banging tons of girls while saving money living next to a beach area.
I'm curious what the "long termers" have to say about this (if any of you are out there)
third world country brah... also costa rica is cool until the government decides they want your land...
OP... not sure why you cant just bang girls anywhere? last time i checked girls are everywhere