Married w/ prenup?

Uh... ask a lawyer? If you have enough $ to need a prenup, pay $400 for an hour of a lawyers time to get advice on whether to do it and if yes, how to pitch it.

I don't have a prenup, but I had zero money when I got married. (Now I have slightly more than zero money).

When I wanted to help my inlaws do a will though, I found the attorney surprisingly adept at dealing with people's superstitions and push back ("a will is bad luck, it will make me die, etc. etc."). I guess he had just heard it all before, so I assume those attornies doing prenups can also advise on how to broach the subject.
 


Trademark said:
Regarding prenups, watch yourself. Just because a prenup exists does not mean it will stand if challenged. Every state is different. Some respect it more than others.
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Another good point to consider. If you make the prenup more "pleasant" a judge may be less likely to throw it out. (the judge isn't going to like have the guy and his mistress living in the mansion with the xwife and kids living in a 1 bedroom apartment on the wrong side of town)
 
Funny you should ask. My best friend gets married Saturday. I'm the best man. He, his fiancé, and myself are all attorneys. He wanted the prenuptial and drafted a solid one. She didnt want one. They fought for months until last weekend she finally signed it. She says she only did it under threat. Lol. That marriage will not last and end in either bloody violence or her turning lesbian.

Point of the story: make sure both sides want it and be willing to compromise
 
the solution if you're concerned isn't a prenup- it's 'not having much of anything once you peel back the facade of Rolex's and Porsches....'

you know the only things in life that can't be touched? those that can't be found
 
Ideally, I wouldn't want a prenup.

But marriage is a legal institution and if you're gonna get legally married, you have to pay attention to what legal responsibilities you are taking on as a result of marriage.

A prenup is just a way of ensuring that if the courts do get involved, they won't ruin either of us.

Besides, when there is so much money to be made from divorce, people can get tempted to divorce for the money. Getting a prenup will ensure that if we do ever reach that stage, our decisions will not be made based on greed but on personal well being, emotional health and our futures.

Tell me that wouldn't make a girl fall in love with the idea of a prenup.
 
I don't have one because I didn't feel the need. I was with my girl for 7+ years before we got married. Well before I had any sort of assets. You know... like taking her on dates to Sam's club for the $1.50 pizza slice kinda stuff. haha
 
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Ar Scion said:
Besides, when there is so much money to be made from divorce, people can get tempted to divorce for the money. Getting a prenup will ensure that if we do ever reach that stage, our decisions will not be made based on greed but on personal well being, emotional health and our futures.

Tell me that wouldn't make a girl fall in love with the idea of a prenup.
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That's an interesting theory, I wonder how best to pitch it?

"Hey baby this isn't protection for me in case I start banging the nanny, it's protection from you in case you turn out to be a greedy bitch."
 
I cant answer the question directly for you but I can say that a lot of the people on these boards that know me personally are aware of some of the shit I just went thru at the beginning of this year.

Luckily, I was divorced legally and never had her on any joint accounts or legal docs, (even a health insurance policy) otherwise it would have come back to bite me in the ass.

As far as "owning" assets or "keeping" something in a company name, in my situation that shit didnt matter. If she was with you when you were building it, there is all kinds of loopholes and shit they can come at you with.

A prenup is a good step but the most reliable and safest thing to do "for yourself" is to just be with her. All of that other shit is for food thought or emotions depicting thoughts of things "should be".

With over half marriages ending in divorce, and people being the risk takers that they are, just understand what you are partaking in and look at it from all angles.
 
If she's telling you that you don't love / trust her because you're asking for a prenup explain it to her like this. Every time two people enter into a business agreement together where both have a steak in the company they have to form an exit strategy while they're still friends. Marriage is just that a business between two people. You build wealth and acquire assets together. Having a solid exit strategy isn't planing for failure it's to protect BOTH parties when shit hits the fan.
 
I dont have a prenup and been married for 6 years. Don't expect to divorce but even if I do, which I doubt, knowing my wife I wouldn't mind sharing. I want my kids to have a good life and I know they are her #1 priority too. People change overtime, but if you have doubts even from the start, go ahead and get one, there are a ton of excuses you can make.
 
If either of you have significant assets or children from a previous relationship, a pre-nuptial contract is extremely important. A will is also important. If you have a pension coming, make sure you protect it.
 
Prenuptial/Antenuptial agreements do not provide a bullet-proof protection for the wealthier person's assets, despite what a lot of people think. If you made the money before getting married, and you don't co-mingle those assets (basically mix them up, same checking account, home purchase, etc), most courts allow a concept of tracing that can often be more valuable in protecting "what you came in with" then a prenuptial agreement signed before the big money was made. The shorter the marriage is, the easier this is.

If the big money is made after you've been married, the presumption is that the poorer spouse "contributed" to that (even if they watched TV all day while the other spouse worked 90 hour weeks) so that kind of agreement tends to be harder to enforce than one that covers money earned before marriage.

Even in situations where both parties had their own legal counsel, a bullet-proof prenup was drafted and every contingency planned for, a divorce court judge can still basically "override" parts of to make a "equitable division of property" i.e. "I don't think this is fair, so we're gonna split it differently than the prenup says" (You don't want to be on the wrong side of one of those decisions) :(

Add to this mess the fact that every state has different rules (e.g. community property states in particular) and some consider sliding scales based on length of marriage, relative contribution, each partners expected future income, whether one party pisses off the divorce judge, etc; the bottom line is nobody truly knows how a prenup is going to work until that fateful day arrives.

My two cents, talk about money BEFORE you get married, better to not have the first time 2 people find out they have differing ideas about who gets what be when they are glaring across the table at each other with a couple $300/hour attorneys next to them. Its amazing the # of people getting divorced I see come into our office that have literally lived together for years, and have polar opposite ideas of who brought what into a relationship. The ones that fight the most seem to literally know less about each other's expectations of whose money is whose than probably most WF posters know about their pizza delivery guy's finances.
 
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prenup without a doubt. Use the business angle excuse claiming your partners don't want a marriage relationship as a potential risk to stability
 
Pre-nup is only for celebrities who don't trust each other and get married only for some odd reasons like publicity, photo shot license etc..

WHy marry at all if you have a doubt that it might not last?
Just stay together without getting married.. You won't have any hassles when you decide to part ways later. I mean nobody gets married thinking they will divorce someday. Everybody thinks they are marrying for the long haul.

Anyway, for an affiliate marketer, it is very easy though.
When you start smelling the shit, use all your money to run campaigns at a loss or no profit just collecting Opt In. Once the divorce papers are through, mail them hard and recover :-)

Unless she ask for a split in the list.
 
My wife and I have a pre nump... She and her family are worth lots of millions... It protects her and her family, they own a big chuck of the most expensive real estate in Houston.. Anyone that marries into the family has to do it.

I would do the same thing in her position. It has nothing to do with love it is just reality.

If you have something to lose and dont get a prenump dont bitch when she sticks the knife in and twists it a little.

Most women are ruthless when the divorce comes around...
 
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