Find out what model and year car he drives and get together with your gay SEO webmasters to purchase one (it'll probably take 100-1000 of you "Seo Experts" to raise the capital rofl).
Many car models use similar key structures, and apart from that - popping a car door is literally a 3 second job with the right tools. Swap the license plates between his car and the fake one and drive his off the lot. Now with the fake one in place (you can do this at work or at home), hide a guy in back seat.
When Matt Cutts comes from work, sweaty as a motherfucker from playing whack-a-mole with your super spun, shitty autoblogs, have the chloroform rag in place. Just before he start the car - drop his ass. Tie him up + gag him good and find a safe spot to stash him. He will probably smell like sweat and shit at this point, so have an adult diaper in place. Have fun!
Disclaimer: Try anal