if the majority of the people visiting your site are already high, play to their paranoia, when they land on your page have giant blinking text that says like...ENTER YOUR PHONE NUMBER IN THE FORM BELOW OR A GIANT WALKING TOASTER OVEN IS GOING TO EAT YOU, and then have a ringtone offer iframed in below it =)
Nah that isn't being high, that's just stupidity at work.