Need Ideas for a Stupid Sales Contest at the Office..

Winston_McFail

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Sep 12, 2012
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So, I'm the sales manager for a large retail chain, (yes, like a real job with other people and stuff) and a couple of times a year they run these gay ass little contests that are intended to drive sales of the company's membership program.. and this year, unfortunately, I've been designated to head up one of two teams in the office..

Now, I know most of you neck beards have never experienced the wondrous joys of an anti-productive corporate office sub-culture.. So I thought I'd invite you to participate in the office festivities..

And see if any of you marketing minded fuckers could come up with any slightly intriguing ideas, to help me not sail off in a total fail boat at work.

Any games.. or contests.. or even any silly/gag/fun type bullshit you guys have ever used to motivate a group of sales employees effectively??
 


straight up cash
and or time off


/thread

those are the 2 main motivators for most sales people
 
200% commission (or similar crazy spiff) to the first x sales guys who manage to hit x sales within the given timeframe.

$50 spiff to the first 3 guys who make x number of calls in the next 8 hours.

Etc etc.

Could any of that work?
 
200% commission (or similar crazy spiff) to the first x sales guys who manage to hit x sales within the given timeframe.

$50 spiff to the first 3 guys who make x number of calls in the next 8 hours.

Etc etc.

Could any of that work?

With 200% commissions the company would go broke. It's not hard for someone to call their buddy and tell them to get paid to buy shit.
 
With 200% commissions the company would go broke. It's not hard for someone to call their buddy and tell them to get paid to buy shit.

You ever stop and think how a CPA offer can pay $40+ for a conversion on a $1.95 trial?

Welcome to marketing. The backend is your friend.
 
just re-read the OP. Cant believe I missed you calling your contest stupid. Your boss needs to fire you today. If he is just as short sighted as you are I suggest you tender your resignation immediatly
 
Eeach rep should hit x sales to win a fleshlight. But seriously, It's hard to tell what would work best for your team. Are they mainly older? Younger? Everybody loves cash. But if your workforce is mainly younger you could give away electronics like an iPad, Xbox, Ps3 or even a nice LED tv if they hit the marks.
 
Eeach rep should hit x sales to win a fleshlight. But seriously, It's hard to tell what would work best for your team. Are they mainly older? Younger? Everybody loves cash. But if your workforce is mainly younger you could give away electronics like an iPad, Xbox, Ps3 or even a nice LED tv if they hit the marks.

Yeah, a plus if they are a large retail chain with decent products. Gift certificates of some considerable value might be nice in case they want to spend them on stuff other than electronics and it's cheaper to the company overall since they are getting the goods at wholesale pricing.
 
What's in the budget for this "silly" promotion, McFail?

If they're mostly men, you could offer a trip to Vegas or the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills. People want ipads, iphones and of course, cash.
 
Give out a "mystery" box. I was a part of a sales team who did this once (yet I was ineligible to 'compete' because I was too new) and the guys/gals went off. It was explained as a mystery box valued at X dollars. Put a giant black box with a giant white question mark on it on display during the contest. Put a gag gift inside with a gift card attached.

When they see it's kind of fun, repeat the same process the following month and double the prize. But this time, it's a team affair and EVERYONE has to exceed the previous winner's number. But make it a team gift, of course.

Or just cash.
 
1st Place: a new car.

2nd Place: set of steak knives.

3rd Place: you're fired.



/edit/ lol, guess I should have read the thread first.
 
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No idea. all my people work because they are ocd workaholics with no family that misses them when they work 15 hour days.

Do you even resume?
 
1st place - Cadillac Eldorado
2nd place - A set of steak knives
3rd place - You're fired.

FTW!

Thanks for the ideas.. and yes, i know, cash is quite the little motivator, bu that's not an option.

I've got tons of ideas.. i just feel like a total fag trying to spearhead things like this.. I've gotten out of it for fucking ever.. but finally, it got me. lol.