New reply to "what do you do"



hectic said:
I say "I'm a marketing guy."

People don't usually ask more than that, marketing folks like it because they are used to self-important fancy-title answers.

I've learned the hard way to stay away from giving people the idea that I know how to fix computers or build web sites. One way ticket to hell there.
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So true. It's gotten so out of hand now that people are telling their friends that I can do it.

If I meet anyone new I just act retarded around technology.

And about what you do? I just say I do advertising for my "uncle". I'm still young (20) and people look at me all funny if I say self-employed. It moves the convo somewhere else hella fast if you're just doing some boring job for a relative.
 
make it sound as sketch as possible with comments about offshore bank accounts, companies in the Caymans, and Russian security experts. They'll be 50/50 on whether to believe you, but they won't fuck with you.
 
hehehe... Love the idea of making up anything as you go along.

I told this before, but eh..

One of my (back then) web-development colleagues would always say "I am a garbage man." Met with incredulous stares or remarks, he would just continue going on "Why, you have a problem with that?"

It was a great ice-breaker, always worked like a charm.

::emp::
 
Professional fleshlight salesman.

If they want to get more in depth I can give a demonstration.
 
"You know those flashing banners that shout 'Congratulations! You've won!' I invented those."

Then prepare for a fistfull of love.
 
If it's a guy say "I live off my investments"

If it's a chick "This is a bit embarrassing but since you asked, I'm extremely well endowed and am paid handsomely for my talents"

PS: if you're gay just switch the answer key -- not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
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