OOOOOooh The Irony
- Thread starter turbolapp
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At a gas station in the Wal-Mart parking lot there is a sign above the pumps:
___________________
No Pre-Pay Here!
WE TRUST YOU
___________________
and on a sticker on the pump:
____________________________
This area monitored by
closed-circuit camera system
Drive-offs will be prosecuted
to the fullest extent of the law
____________________________
___________________
No Pre-Pay Here!
WE TRUST YOU
___________________
and on a sticker on the pump:
____________________________
This area monitored by
closed-circuit camera system
Drive-offs will be prosecuted
to the fullest extent of the law
____________________________
My favorite is the guy who said
"I FUCKING HATE FOREIGNERS!! I WANT TO MOVE TO A COUNTRY WHERE THERE ARE NO FOREIGNERS"
LOL forever on that one...
"I FUCKING HATE FOREIGNERS!! I WANT TO MOVE TO A COUNTRY WHERE THERE ARE NO FOREIGNERS"
LOL forever on that one...
Find the funny.
Edit: TBH Not sure if it's ironic, but the rest of the pictures made me think of this pic.
1. Why do people drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?
2. Why is it called cargo if it goes on a ship, and a shipment if it is on a car?
3. Why does your nose run, while your feet smell?
4. Hooked on Phonics is for people who are illiterate, in other words, they don't know letters, yet the telephone number is 1-800-ABCDEFG!
5. Why is Iceland green, and Greenland ice?
6. Why is there brail on drive-thru ATMs?
7. Light travels faster than sound...is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
8. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
9. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
10. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
11. If you buy a TV set, why do you only get one?
12. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? [
ha ha]
13. Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?
14. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
15. If Wal-mart is open 24/7, 365 days a year, including holidays, why are there locks on the doors??
16. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
17. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
18. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
19. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
20. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
21. What's the speed of dark?
22. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
23. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
24. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
25. Is Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
26. When people are driving and looking for a street address, why do they turn down the radio?
27. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
28. When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
29. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
30. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
31. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
32. Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the battery is dead?
33. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
34. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
35. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
36. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that it is expanding, what is expanding into?
37. What would a chair look like if knees bent the other way?
38. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
39. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
40. When two things almost collide, why do they call it a "near miss"?
41. Do fish get cramps after eating?
42. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
43. Why do scientists call it research, when looking for something new?
44. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
45. Where does a word go when it gets erased?
46. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
47. If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
48. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
2. Why is it called cargo if it goes on a ship, and a shipment if it is on a car?
3. Why does your nose run, while your feet smell?
4. Hooked on Phonics is for people who are illiterate, in other words, they don't know letters, yet the telephone number is 1-800-ABCDEFG!
5. Why is Iceland green, and Greenland ice?
6. Why is there brail on drive-thru ATMs?
7. Light travels faster than sound...is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
8. What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
9. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
10. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
11. If you buy a TV set, why do you only get one?
12. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? [
ha ha]13. Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?
14. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
15. If Wal-mart is open 24/7, 365 days a year, including holidays, why are there locks on the doors??
16. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
17. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
18. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
19. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
20. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
21. What's the speed of dark?
22. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
23. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
24. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
25. Is Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
26. When people are driving and looking for a street address, why do they turn down the radio?
27. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
28. When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
29. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
30. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
31. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
32. Why do people press harder on a remote control when they know the battery is dead?
33. Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
34. Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
35. Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
36. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that it is expanding, what is expanding into?
37. What would a chair look like if knees bent the other way?
38. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
39. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
40. When two things almost collide, why do they call it a "near miss"?
41. Do fish get cramps after eating?
42. Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
43. Why do scientists call it research, when looking for something new?
44. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
45. Where does a word go when it gets erased?
46. Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
47. If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
48. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!
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