Parents, Curb Your Brats!

dreamache said:
The important thing to decipher as a parent is knowing whether or not your child is crying vs. crying via a tantrum. Right around 1 year old is when they're considered toddlers, and it's also when throwing tantrums begin. Anything under the age of 1 is usually not a tantrum and it's them trying to communicate to you that something is wrong. Ignoring their crying (less than 1 yr old) because you think they're wired to gain control of you is just bs. A toddler, yes, I agree.. not a baby though.
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A lot of the tantrums that toddlers throw are totally predicatable. If a toddler doesn't get enough sleep or sleeps at the wrong times, he's going to feel grumpy and act that way. A huge number of toddlers and preschoolers aren't sleeping enough. If parents would put babies to bed around 7 or 8 and let them sleep the eleven or twelve hours they need, the kid would be better for it. That's in addition to the nap after lunch, of course.
 


Great input, Rebecca. I know you're exposed to the outcome of "less than ideal" parenting on a daily basis.

On a broader note regarding babies that cry... there's something to be said for helping an infant learn to cope with stress. That pays off huge when they become toddlers, and confront situations that aren't to their liking. And it keeps paying off when they grow older, becoming teens and adults.

Goodness knows life is full of stresses and curve balls. Teaching kids how to deal with 'em while they're young gives them the tenacity to push through obstacles later.

As dreamache said, crying is the only way babies know how to communicate. But of course, there are lots of reasons they cry, from fear to hunger to grumpiness to just plain wanting attention (as Rebecca mentioned). Responding to a cry for food is obviously important. Responding to a plea for attention is less so.

The trick is being able to pick out the cues. ;)
 
I can understand infants and young toddlers screaming in a public place, you can't discipline someone who doesn't know how to speak yet.

But the 3-12 year olds running around the stores, restaurants, ect.. there really isn't an excuse for children to act like that in public. That has to be blamed on ineffective parenting.

I don't have kids, but I remember being one. So, my theory is that tantrums can be immediately ceased by one simple action, with one simple tool: smart phone camcorder.

Record your child throwing a tantrum over whateverthehell he/she wants. Get those tears in the film. Replay it to them, and ask them if they want that video sent to all their friends or shown at their next birthday party.

That should end the tantrum on the spot, and so long as you have that phone handy, they will know there's a threat of new blackmail video if they ever present new material.
 
A very interesting post. Im actualy surprised at the depth of the responses here, pretty good material actually.

Im a father of 3 boys. Ages 9, 4, 8mo.

When dealing with several kids, you have different dynamics.
1. Oldest child - usually behaves and listens. Gets feelings hurt easily. hates his middle brother.
2. Middle child - Totally wants your attention, will go to extremes to get it. The bully in the house.
3. Youngest - gets abused by middle child when you're not looking. We'll probably grow up to be the toughest.

Ok, so after all these years, i've tried and read several books, asked other parents, observed other families. The jest, make them feel wanted by giving em tasks. You do need to allow them to be boys and get into trouble, vent, etc.

When it comes down to it, you do need to whoop em. To the point where if you give em the stare, they turn white. Its so painful to do, especially since theyre a piece of you, BUT, as a dad, you do need the red button handy at all times (public places, home, etc.).

Took me some time to be firm, but once you get it, works everytime.

As far as turning them into men, building stuff together works good, as well as spending time playing any sport together. They are still too young to grasp your deep lectures/teachings, but Im sure overtime it'll come to em. Did for me at least. Just plant the seed.

At this point, establish the red button (firm pat on the back of the neck is best - other body parts are either to sensitive or don't take em to that level of irritation);

One last thing, give them an allowence and bonuses if they do a good job. Always have them earn they're way. A good value to instil early on.

Spend time with them, love em, be firm. The rest will work out overtime (I hope).
 
Napolean said:
I can understand infants and young toddlers screaming in a public place, you can't discipline someone who doesn't know how to speak yet.

But the 3-12 year olds running around the stores, restaurants, ect.. there really isn't an excuse for children to act like that in public. That has to be blamed on ineffective parenting.

I don't have kids, but I remember being one. So, my theory is that tantrums can be immediately ceased by one simple action, with one simple tool: smart phone camcorder.

Record your child throwing a tantrum over whateverthehell he/she wants. Get those tears in the film. Replay it to them, and ask them if they want that video sent to all their friends or shown at their next birthday party.

That should end the tantrum on the spot, and so long as you have that phone handy, they will know there's a threat of new blackmail video if they ever present new material.
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You can discipline a child that can't speak - remember, discipline is two-sided, reward and punishment, not just punishment. Babies who don't speak learn from conditioning - positive distractions are hugely effective for this age. They can understand complex speech well before they can use it themselves.

The camcorder can be a great way to distract both in a positive and negative way. If your toddler throws a tantrum he won't care about the video (a six-year-old would, of course), but both ages love the idea of making a video on their own terms or watching one on your phone.

"Child! Come sit down by me and let's watch [insert favorite cartoon purchased for $1..99 from itunes] together." A kid watching a video on the phone is a quiet kid - great instruction when asked/reward: Sit quietly = watch mommy's phone with a bit of extra snugly attention. A few years later, Angry Birds gets 'em every time.
 
InternetAuthor said:
"Child! Come sit down by me and let's watch [insert favorite cartoon purchased for $1..99 from itunes] together." A kid watching a video on the phone is a quiet kid - great instruction when asked/reward: Sit quietly = watch mommy's phone with a bit of extra snugly attention. A few years later, Angry Birds gets 'em every time.
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i.e. Child learns that by acting out they get rewarded with their favorite passtimes.

I get what you're saying though, I just think the above is a horrible example.

My parents would whip me if I acted out, then reward me later if I listened. I think that is a better reward system because kids learn that if they don't continue to behave, then they don't get anything. For instance, if a kid doesn't sit quietly and behave at a restaurant, they'll be disciplined in the bathroom until they do mind. If they manage to behave until they get home, they might get some extra TV time to show them it's better to behave.

Simply tossing a distraction at them if they act out in public doesn't reinforce anything but the bad behavior because they get instant gratification.
 
Rexibit said:
i.e. Child learns that by acting out they get rewarded with their favorite passtimes.

I get what you're saying though, I just think the above is a horrible example.

My parents would whip me if I acted out, then reward me later if I listened. I think that is a better reward system because kids learn that if they don't continue to behave, then they don't get anything. For instance, if a kid doesn't sit quietly and behave at a restaurant, they'll be disciplined in the bathroom until they do mind. If they manage to behave until they get home, they might get some extra TV time to show them it's better to behave.

Simply tossing a distraction at them if they act out in public doesn't reinforce anything but the bad behavior because they get instant gratification.
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Point taken - the example wasn't ideal. I meant to be proactive - before the kid acts up, distract him from a situation that's not ideal using something fun and quiet. For example, we were forced to wait almost an hour at the dentist yesterday. Other kids were running and screaming, but when I sensed my kids getting tired and edgy, I pulled out the handy phone and it kept them distracted until we finally got in. No punishment needed since they never got a chance to misbehave.

If they had blatantly misbehaved, I have a handy solution for that, too, but it's rarely employed since I'm a master of the meaningful look. LOL
 
On the airplanes, when kids do this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nDIQPqlIr4]YouTube - ‪anoying litte kid in the airplane‬‏[/ame]

You do this:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbnRRGISLQE]YouTube - ‪Man abuses child on plane!‬‏[/ame]

:)
 
Asian and Mexican parents still beat the shit out of their kids - in public. I like that.
 
I have several kids and they're all well behaved to the point they get complemented. They know if they act up (the older two 9 and 4) know when I said something I mean it. If they start getting loud or trying to run around I'll start counting 1, 2, and then say "do you want me to say 3?". My son has told me a couple times yes so I took him outside and whooped him (open handed on the butt 3 times leaving no red marks per Nevada state law). He's since quit saying he wants to hear 3 and stops what he's doing at either 1 or 2.

I focus on my boy in the above paragraph, because my daughter never really needed a whooping or anything really. She's not as hard headed. All you had to do was pretend to spank her and she's fall over saying she was sorry and she's still a good kid.


I use to embarrass my wife at restaurants all the time. If a kid was acting up I'd take my kids over by them and say "Look at how bad that kid is acting! What would happen if you acted as bad as them?" and they'd say a variety of thing that could possibly happen: spankings, no desert, toys being taken away, etc. I'd make sure to do this in front of the offending kids parents then proceed to praise my kids for being good.

The thought process behind that was embarrass the other parents into hopefully making their kids not act like jackasses and remind my kids that it's not appropriate behavior in public.
 
please keep your children in the overhead baggage compartment at all times. and keep your trays in an upright and lock position.
 
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