Review my LP/Copy

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light.House

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Nov 17, 2007
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Okie dokie...

After about 6 months of working on this product it's out and ready. I was wondering if you guys could take a look at it and tell me if there's any modifications that could be made to the copy or design. I just launched today so I haven't split tested it yet, but I'm looking for overall first impressions.

Do note that there's supposed to be a video in the grey shaded area and it should be up by lunchtime today.

Now I'm not worried about my LP getting stolen because
1. This product is unique and my own
2. The design is pulled from a page in a completely different industry, so it's not unique in any way

Anyways, here's the site:
Options Bootcamp

Oh, and this is a very legitimate product, and so I have to throw in the obligatory plug that it will benefit you as well so go buy multiple copies.

Let me know what you think!
 


Options Pricing The video takes the components of the Black Sholes model and explains each one in depth using graphical explanations.

It's difficult to explain Black Sholes models let alone to poor dude who has no clue in financial derivatives.

Do you explain how to use Black Sholes in current options market via backward induction and find out what the market volatility is in the equation?
 
light.House said:
...so go buy multiple copies.
Click to expand...

First off, kudos to you for being the only brave and fearless soul other than me (that I know of, anyway) that will actually try to sell more than one copy of a .pdf file to a person with a straight face. You, sir, are a fellow scholar and gentleman worthy of my respect.

As for your landing page, without actually reading it, I can point out just a few tweaks that I think would benefit you right off the bat:

1) Make better use of white space. Get rid of that "wall of words" look that some spots on your page have right now. You don't want it TOO spread out, of course, but you do want the eye to focus on particular statements without glazing over from the "busy" background of surrounding, imposing paragraphs.

2) Break up your paragraphs. Make sentences as concise as possible. Paragraphs should be one to three sentences. Yes, I know that's not always grammatically correct; I'm one of the biggest grammar nazis you'll ever meet. However, it works much better for copy. People don't like to read, they like to skim. When they skim, they look for certain phrases or words that will jump out at them. Then, and possibly only then, will they go back and actually read that one portion. After that, they're back to skimming.

3) Bullet Points:


  • Try Using An Odd Number

  • Of Bullet Points

  • Bold And/Or Color Every Other One

  • To Emphasis Each Point

  • It Even Emphasizes The Non-Bolded Points

  • Since It Breaks Up the Monotony

  • See? :)

4) I really want to tell you that you're being a bit too "Buy Button Happy" on the page - particularly with that first one. But since you said that a video will be directly above it then I can see why you put it there, even though I'm a little skeptical. If I were you I'd definitely split test it with the way you have it and with at least one or two variations consisting of less buttons.
 
ed146 said:
Options Pricing The video takes the components of the Black Sholes model and explains each one in depth using graphical explanations.

It's difficult to explain Black Sholes models let alone to poor dude who has no clue in financial derivatives.

Do you explain how to use Black Sholes in current options market via backward induction and find out what the market volatility is in the equation?
Click to expand...

Good question. Once I explain what BS is I then show how it's not *that* important on a practical level, and we just need to focus on the individual components that affect option price (price, vol, and time the big 3... Rho is stupid).

The video really does help those who have had no training whatsoever in finance and helps them to understand concepts that take months to master.

I know it sounds like I'm still pitching my product, but I'm fully behind it.
 
Thanks for the advice. I'll mess with it later on in the day.
geekcognito said:
First off, kudos to you for being the only brave and fearless soul other than me (that I know of, anyway) that will actually try to sell more than one copy of a .pdf file to a person with a straight face. You, sir, are a fellow scholar and gentleman worthy of my respect.
Click to expand...
 
Good feedback there from geekcognito.

One thing that struck me was that you make no attempt at branding your product on the site.

I would strongly suggest creating some kind of logo of your product from day one. This helps to add authority and trust to the product (and site). And when I say logo, it doesn't have to be really fancy or designed by some dude for $150. You could make one with an online logo creator for free. For this product - keep it clean, simple, and classy.

It also wouldn't hurt to add a small opt-in form and build up a list of potential customers. You could have them sign up for a free report, an extended video preview, or something of interest.
 
ImagesAndWords said:
Good feedback there from geekcognito.

It also wouldn't hurt to add a small opt-in form and build up a list of potential customers. You could have them sign up for a free report, an extended video preview, or something of interest.
Click to expand...

Already got a lot of Twitter followers that have been asking me to release this product. Also do a Stock and Option happy hour live video session wednesday nights (when I'm officially releasing) and that gets a couple hundred people a night.

You're right about the logo, need to get one designed.. haven't followed through with that yet.

So if anyone's interested in designing me one that doesn't suck, I'll pay $40 or best offer.
 
ImagesAndWords said:
It also wouldn't hurt to add a small opt-in form and build up a list of potential customers. You could have them sign up for a free report, an extended video preview, or something of interest.
Click to expand...

Yes! Listen to this man. Very important. I do this on ALL my sales pages now and it increases sales like you wouldn't believe. Not right away, of course, but a potential customer that's "on the fence" enough to want more information but not enough to actually buy right now will VERY LIKELY buy from you after they've subscribed to your list and received a few informative "soft sell" autoresponder messages.

And the ones that never do convert you can just send them other offers that might. It never, ever hurts to build a list.
 
Too many buy buttons, which makes it look too spammy.

Change the color of the buy button. I know green is supposed to represent money, but that's the wrong shade homie. Besides, if someone is looking into learning options, they might be more likely to respond to a color other than something so obvious. Think about the mentality of your prospective customers.

No pictures of happy rich people. Seriously though, You should at least put a picture of yourself (or a fake picture of someone claiming to be you) to instill trust and help with branding. Use your name (or a fake one) That will make people more likely to pull out their credit cards. Right now it looks faceless, which makes me think there will be no customer support once I buy.

Put some charts and graphs on the homepage. Options traders like charts and graphs, right? Appeal to the mentality of your customer.

Trust logos. Put some hacker safe logos. Also, some Wall Street Journal, MSNBC etc. Find a quote about options trading from those sources to attribute to them, with a disclaimer in the footer that you are not associated with them. (ie, Wall Street Journal logo: "Options trading is where the money is at. Blah, blah blah. etc ad infiniteum.") Although they aren't endorsing your product (and you're not claiming they are), it subconsciously affects your customer into trusting your product more.

I could go on...
 
Advise on this thread is worth bookmarking for those who are interested in optimizing landing page.
 
Unarmed Gunman said:
Too many buy buttons, which makes it look too spammy.

Change the color of the buy button. I know green is supposed to represent money, but that's the wrong shade homie. Besides, if someone is looking into learning options, they might be more likely to respond to a color other than something so obvious. Think about the mentality of your prospective customers.

No pictures of happy rich people. Seriously though, You should at least put a picture of yourself (or a fake picture of someone claiming to be you) to instill trust and help with branding. Use your name (or a fake one) That will make people more likely to pull out their credit cards. Right now it looks faceless, which makes me think there will be no customer support once I buy.

Put some charts and graphs on the homepage. Options traders like charts and graphs, right? Appeal to the mentality of your customer.

Trust logos. Put some hacker safe logos. Also, some Wall Street Journal, MSNBC etc. Find a quote about options trading from those sources to attribute to them, with a disclaimer in the footer that you are not associated with them. (ie, Wall Street Journal logo: "Options trading is where the money is at. Blah, blah blah. etc ad infiniteum.") Although they aren't endorsing your product (and you're not claiming they are), it subconsciously affects your customer into trusting your product more.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice. I'll be split testing the color of the buttons-- check out dabuttonfactory.com if you want to pump out quick buttons.

I currently have my own brand through my blog (investingwithoptions.com) and my twitter account, so I have a bit of a following, which helps. Everybody has known that the product is coming.


knukk said:
It's "Scholes" not "Sholes". Good luck further with it!
Click to expand...

Meh. I prefer Bjerksund-Stensland over Black Scholes anyways
 
ImagesAndWords said:
Good feedback there from geekcognito.
It also wouldn't hurt to add a small opt-in form and build up a list of potential customers. You could have them sign up for a free report, an extended video preview, or something of interest.
Click to expand...

I've been developing a quick "5 Myths About Stock Options" pdf for the opt-in form. It's in development, but I'm trying to release then iterate.

BTW, you should buy my video. Twice.
 
light.House said:
I currently have my own brand through my blog (investingwithoptions.com) and my twitter account, so I have a bit of a following, which helps. Everybody has known that the product is coming.
Click to expand...
Then you should certainly extend your branding to this landing page. After all, this is where they have to make a decision on whether or not they want to pull out the credit card. You should have your name and photo (doesn't have to be you) in the sidebar, with some resume type info on why I should think you know enough about options trading for me to give you my money (maybe use the same shit you have on your about me page on the blog.)

I would even use a similar design, color scheme as your blog, so that users feel they are still with the same program so to speak, since you already have a following.

...And did I already say charts/graphs? How you would think to have a sales page for people that deal with numbers all day without a single chart/graph is beyond me. They need to be able to look at the page and know what it's about before they read it, or they might not read it at all. I know I didn't. I looked at the page twice and your blog once, but at least I could tell what your blog was about immediately.

As someone else said - you need more whitespace to break that shit up with. Put a sidebar in there or something. That page looks like some Geocities shit from the mid-90's, no offense. You might want to just pay one of these guys to do a Landing Page for you. You can probably get a good one for $50-$100. Stick to your strengths, outsource your weaknesses (ie. design).
 
Work on your headline. Try a different color (like red), add 2-3 benefits, remove (unnecessary) words.

Put a call-to-action above the fold. Add some extra pages like "About", "Privacy policy" for extra trust.
 
your headline needs work. Keep it simpler, needs to grab the reader better. Also be mindful of people that just scroll, the headlines should be able to tell the story for lazy people that want to skip the detailed reading.
 
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