Staying faithful..

pinchyfingers said:
Cheating on a woman is the least masculine thing you can do. Honesty and self-control are defining characteristics in my view of masculinity.

Was in a relationship for 4 years. I knew it wasn't working, so I faced the truth and broke up with her, despite feeling deeply attached to her. It was one of the most painful things I've ever done, but now I know that I don't want a committed relationship, but I do want healthy relationships with quality women and I'm honest about that.

Do whatever is right for you, but for the sake of others, don't be a liar or cheat.
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Do you not think it's a natural instinct for men to "cheat"? Cheating is a relatively modern concept. We've evolved to a point where society encourages monogamy. Why does a modern way of thinking define what is or isn't masculine? I'm not saying that morally it's correct, but simply that labelling as not masculine is ambiguous at best. We all have our own definitions.

My understanding of genetics and human instincts is gained from experience and reading books like The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins etc. Our genetics effectively hard wire us to reproduce, everything else we do is emotional fulfilment. Our conciousness allows us to make decisions based on morals and ideals. Anyone who's been in a relationship and flirted with another woman would have felt the cognitive dissonance caused by the conflicting thoughts that you should be faithful to your partner, as to not cause emotional distress, but then you have a basic instinct of wanting to.. mate with another attractive woman.

I agree though that if you are inclined to sleep around then don't do it while in a relationship. What goes around comes around..
 


tatrasim said:
7+ years, never did. That's with going to another state for 3 semesters to finish college, with every hot college chick I couldn't get before hitting on me left and right. Almost slipped once while getting a lap dance by one dressed up as a stripper on a Halloween party, but stopped before it went too far. If you value it enough, you can stick to it lifetime. Not saying that it's right or wrong, to each his own. After all I am going through divorce right now and thinking - fucking bitch, I should have just fucked all of those along the way. Never thought I could ever be committed to one though before I got married, but as Ben said, once you find the one who you think is worth it, it's not too hard to ignore the rest. Bend them over and they all look like sisters anyways.
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I don't want to sound like an asshole, but this story is so common. There is no such thing as a perfect girl who is 'different'. It's an illusion. I tend to agree with those who think the woman you marry should primarily be a girl you think will be able to help raise a family. Marrying for love is a new invention and clearly doesn't work when half gets divorced anyway.
 
jorarulit said:
you just need to feed your ego with constant attention from people you think are valuable (hot females) - otherwise you think you will suffer.

its just narcissism

nothing wrong with that when you're straight up about it and not lying to yourself and the girls.
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This. Know thyself. I can respect (almost) anyone that is straight up honest with themselves and everyone else about who they are.
 
pinchyfingers said:
Honesty and self-control are defining characteristics in my view of masculinity.
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Does lying and sneaking around seem really alpha?

lose lose win, when you cheat do you feel like you have to tell someone about it?

I have a friend who often cheats on his live in girlfriend, and I noticed he has to let others know he is doing it. Like having other people know he is getting away with something is important to him.

In general he is kind of self centered and very into showing off, sometimes I wonder if he is cheating for himself or just to show other guys that he can do it.
 
jorarulit said:
its just narcissism
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This. It's a very common personality trait that manifests itself in a million different ways.

If you're really interested in self-discovery, get a proper personality disorder/personality test done (not online, lol). Only do it if you're genuinely looking to learn something about yourself though. Otherwise it will be money/time wasted.
 
Apex01 said:
Does lying and sneaking around seem really alpha?

lose lose win, when you cheat do you feel like you have to tell someone about it?

I have a friend who often cheats on his live in girlfriend, and I noticed he has to let others know he is doing it. Like having other people know he is getting away with something is important to him.

In general he is kind of self centered and very into showing off, sometimes I wonder if he is cheating for himself or just to show other guys that he can do it.
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His just not into his girl.

He is more into boasting and just thinks that his friends tend to look up to him for what his doing.

But the thing is that does not mean your alpha for having laid by every girl you meet or by cheating on your partner. We agree about that right?.
 
Srsly though Patrice O'neal already explained it all for you:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i92lYJvqZGs]Patrice O'neal - Cheating - YouTube[/ame]
 
lose lose win said:
Pretty presumptuous. You seem pretty confident that your character and value of character is superior to mine. I find this statement simply retarded. You're basing this on the fact that I am not so sure that our societal norm and accepted standards are worthy of dictating how I choose to live my life. You of all people should be able to see past the limitations of societal norms considering your views on anarchy? To some this would put their value of character above your.. to which I'm sure that you would be quick to reply with the idea that most things, including character, are subjective.

You seem to be straying from your traditional line of thinking in order to feel superior. That's just how it is.
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You have every right to subscribe to your own value system and everyone else around you has the right to think that you are shallow as a result of it.
 
I think the point has been made pretty clearly in this thread, that it is generally considered socially unacceptable to be dishonest where trust and fidelity (sexual/romantic or otherwise) is involved.

No one cares if some guy bangs a lot of chicks. Someone who is disreputable however is going to get a negative response, for obvious reasons. Society isn't about laws and rules as much as it is about trust, and someone who cannot control their urges as they relate to their responsibilities and commitments is someone who cannot socialize reliably or effectively.

To me, reputation and character are much more important than how much sex you have or with whom. Other people may have different value systems. I am ok with that. I can only speak for myself. And yes, I think having character (willpower, self control, discipline) is infinitely more moral and superior to a lack of those attributes or abilities.
 
BenPOF said:
Bro, what if one day, your dick stops working? What are you left with?
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What if tomorrow I die?

The last fucking thing I'm going to do is commit to a life of boredom out of fear which is what I'd estimate 75% of married men have done. Whether it be fear of being alone, fear of not finding better, or fear of my dick no longer working. Fuck that. If and when I do get married it will be out of logic, and because I have no desire to be with any other woman besides my wife. I'm just not sure that day will come. If it does... I'll bump this thread to commemorate my joining of the WF beta faggot club and we can all make fun of the alpha males and their lack of morality together.

To those who are happily committed and faithful... good for you. I applaud you, and I mean that sincerely. It's a a great thing and I have struggled with it at times. Probably because I am just an inferior human being in general... or more likely bc I actually have females approach me unlike most of the d-bags who claim moral superiority in this thread. Yeah... I bet it's pretty easy to stick to your superior ethics if your a fat/skinny fucking computer geek with no social skills. Pat yourself on the back... good job, way to discipline yourself.

Of course, like I said, there are those of you who are just strong willed, good people who wouldn't dream of the person who cares for you finding out that you betrayed them. Hopefully, if I find the right girl for me, I can achieve your level of dedication. I certainly never condoned nor glamorized hurting others in this thread.. quite the opposite. I was simply wondering if this shit came easier to other people or not, and admitted that I (gasp) have cheated on girlfriends in the past. My mistake was not calculating the fact that I'm in a forum full of gay webmasters that wouldn't know the difference between a hot piece of ass and a USB outlet with Mountain Dew residue on it. My bad.

In all seriousness, I appreciate the input and enjoy hearing others perspectives... even if it is self serving, self righteous, pseudo morality bull shit justifying a life of settling for second best and posing as superiority.
 
inb4 OP's runnin' down the hall in tennis shoes all American Psycho on some ass.

appreciate the lulz OP..not being sarcastic......wf beta faggot club........hot ass and usb port with dew on it........and grunin's contribution-retarded as fuck chicken heads..

no more threads bro, could be pullin' more tail with this wasted time. Feel free to post pics in NSFW......stay thirsty my friend
 
lose lose win said:
For all of you married guys or guys with serious long term girlfriends... How do you stay faithful? It's a serious problem for me, and honestly, I've NEVER been able to do it. Never married, but serious long term girlfriends that I came close to marrying a couple of times but just couldn't and I always cheated. The time I came closest to marriage I felt completely panicked and just could not commit to it... and she was a faithful and beautiful girl that many men would love to have as a wife.

This is not a troll thread.. I seriously do not understand how I could mentally commit to only sleeping with ONE girl for the rest of my LIFE. I mean.. I love females too much. Just flirting with one in the donut shop or wherever the fuck is enough to make me mentally stray. I understand the value of a good consistent partner that backs you and supports you no matter what, and I see these ultra successful men being seemingly happily married and the combination of those two things makes me think I should start considering settling down at age 31.. but fuck, what is better than a hot 23 year old new girlfriend? I love meeting new and interesting women/girls and having sex with them, and getting to know there different personalities... and relationships inevitably get stale and thus boring. The opposite of happiness is boredom.. I just don't see myself giving up the ability to participate in the "chase" even though I know it isn't always fulfilling...it's exciting. Variety is the spice of life right? It's literally in my DNA to procreate with as many females is possible... that's a pretty serious urge to suppress for an entire lifetime.

Do you guys not feel like a fucking killer whale in a tank at Sea World with your dorsal fin all flopped over and shit? That's exactly how I feel in those situations, but everyone around me is diving right in without the slightest hesitation.
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I'll make this short for clarity: You are a scumbag.

No, I am not the "skinny/fat computer geek with no social skills" you refer to.
Yes, women approach me.
Yes, women want to have sex with me.
I'm talking about lots of women...hot women. I've been married
for 12-years, so maybe that's part of the appeal, they want
what they can't have.

Anyway, it's simple. I'm married, that means no girlfriends,
no mistresses, no one night stands, not even flirting with girls.

How do I do this: I recognize potential weakness, and do not put myself in certain situations.

Any man can be tempted, any man. Minimize the temptation and respond
correctly (get out of the situation fast) when it does happen.
 
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I agree with the posts about trust and finding the right girl. I have been with my wife for 7 years. I have and will continue being faithful to her for many reasons. When tempted the first thing that pops into my mind is does my wife deserve this, and any half decent self respecting man will tell you, of course not.

One could argue what she doesn't know won't hurt her (definitely heard that a few times). Now maybe thats true but what about ones self, ones sanity? I don't think it's healthy to keep shit like that locked up inside. I believe in good and bad energy and shit like that is just straight up bad energy which over time will bring you down.

With that said, I certainly think anyone that can't see the value in what I wrote above should consider the following.

Don't get married yet, in the meantime continue to have sexy time with as many girls as you possibly can and if you can't be faithful to your g/f then you are much better off single.

Eventually you will get it out of your system and want to settle down.

When you think your ready to get to that next step you should try to live together with that person for at least a year or two and make sure that you are comfortable living together and being faithful. If you are then by all means consider taking that next step!

Once you have kids there should be absolutely no turning back because at that point it becomes about your kids future and well being. It's very healthy for kids development to have both parents in the household where both parents are setting a good example.

I don't entirely believe that you should avoid temptation as at least where I live that's almost impossible. You need to know how to deal with it as you never know when you'll end up in a situation where temptation is forced upon you and if you don't know how to handle it you will likely cave.

I also think that appreciating the appearance of a good looking / well curved woman is completely natural and thankfully my wife is ok with that and often agrees with me. It's ok to look but not touch as the saying goes...
 
You have this problem now, because you're younger and full of testosterone. You're going to fuck up though and play the game past your prime, you're going to get old. The problem is, your taste in women wont. So then you'll be that weird 40 or 50 year old guy, still hitting on the hot 23 year old women, who don't want anything to do with you.

And the older you get, the lest testosterone you produce and the less important sex is to you...you'll want a companion. But now, you've waited to long, all the young ones want nothing to do with you, and all the ones you're age that are good are taken, and anyone that is left is either ugly or broken. You'r going to fuck yourself bro, do like I did. I got a hot young 23 year old when I was 28 and she is going to stay a hot young girl for awhile =)
 
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