Surgical Procedure

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Vendzilla

Banks Inspector
May 9, 2008
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A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her
vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out
of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the
surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses
carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you
not to tell anyone about my operation!'

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him: 'I felt sad because you went through
this all by yourself.'

'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.'

'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.

'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for
his new ears.'
 


Hopefully this isn't a hijack, didn't want to start a new thread....

So there is this guy, lived an alright life; however didn't quite make it into heaven. He arrives in hell, only to meet satan right as he walks in. Satan promptly welcomes him into hell, and offers him a few choices on how to spend 'eternity'.

Satan walks the guy up to door #1, which is then opened.....Inside there is a guy screaming in pain, burning, and covered in tar. "I don't want anything to do with that, door #2 has to be better."

Satan walks the guy up to door #2, which is then opened.....Inside is a guy tied to a table, covered in spiders, snakes, and maggots eating him alive. "No way, nothing could be worse than this. Door #3 must be better...." Satan replies, "are you sure? Door 3 is your only option now...". "Im sure" says the guy.

Satan then walks him up to the final door, and opens it.....Inside is a 40 year, overweight man sitting in a lazyboy. He is covered in sweat, and in one hand has a beer, and the other is resting on a 18 year old blondes head. She is giving him a ridiculous blow job, and while this is going on there is football on a huge plasmsa screen. The guy, shocked with happiness, says "This is it, I WANT THIS FOR ETERNITY!". Satan replies, "You sure? There is no going back on this...". THe guy instantly replies, "Im sure, this is what I want."

Without another word, Satan walks over to the blonde, her face covered in ball sweat and semen, taps her on the shoulder.....She looks up, and satan says "Alright, you are finished, I just found your replacement."
 
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