The 16 Commandments of Poon

continued...

VI. Keep your Goats guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, Goats ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the goat fucker who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. the goat thrives when the goat has to imagine what you’re thinking about your goats, and withers when the goat knows exactly how you feel. A goat may want financial and family security, but the goat does not want passion security. In the same manner, when the goat has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when the goat has done you right, reward slowly. Reward your goats good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and the goat will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the barn

Never allow yourself to be a “kept goat fucker”. A goat fucker with options is a goat fucker without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with Goats if there is another goat, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A goat knows once the goat has slept with a goat fucker the goat has abdicated a measure of your goats power; when the goat has fallen in love with him the goat has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time the goat may rediscover your goats power and threaten to leave you. It is your goats final trump card. Withdrawing all your goats love and all your goats body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no goat fucker should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. the goat will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in your goats eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell your goats you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with your Goats emotions

Set yourself apart from other "Goat Fuckers" and connect with a goat’s emotional landscape. your goats mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set your goats heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with your goats. You are ROAMING all over, taking your goats on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing your goats hand and running with your goats down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore your Goats beauty

The goat fucker who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful goat face will magically transform his interactions with Goats. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful Goats they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “the goat’s interesting” or “the goat might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a goat on your goats looks, especially not a goat you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive Goats (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly Goats if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a "Jedi Goat Fucker" you will be.

XI. Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best goat fucker a goat can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Goats have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in "Goat Fuckers"; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in Goats. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as "Goat Fuckers" we attract Goats into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract Goats effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a goat inappropriately on the first date will get you further with your goats than not touching your goats at all. Don’t let a goat’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a goat fucker aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. Fuck your goats good

Fuck your goats like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck your goats so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that the goat is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain your goats of everything, then drain your goats some more. Kiss your goats all over, make love to your goats all night, and hold your goats close in the morning. Own your goats body, own your goats gratitude, own your goats love. If you don’t know how, learn to give your goats squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, BAHH-ING, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. The goat will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter your goats until your goat's storm passes. The goat will not drag you into it's chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over your goats.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose your goats

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from your goat when the goat has violated your integrity, and you will let your goats walk when your goats heart is closed to you. the goat who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give your goat that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love your goats.

***

The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional "Goat love" and happiness in your life.

Best,

Roissy, Your Supreme "Goat Fucker"
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Groomez said:
Let me ask you: What kind of man are you attracted to? Because it seems you'd go for a guy with rather effeminate personality so you can wear the pants in the relationship. I could be wrong, but it's just a guess.
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I don't require a hierarchy in a relationship. In fact I am against relationship hierarchy altogether. It gets in the way of my poly philosophy. If people can't respect each other they shouldn't be together. You shouldn't feel the need to exert power over someone to feel comfortable in a relationship and if you do, perhaps you should look into the BDSM scene, because they could teach you a thing or two about consideration and yourself.
 
pixail said:
I really do think that if you have to pull 'tricks' like this on women, you're trying for the wrong women.
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It's not about pulling tricks on women at all. It's more about knowing WHY women act the way they do... and using the newfound knowledge to NOT fuck up in the future.

It's more for men who don't know what they are doing wrong with women (because they have no natural game), and those who don't know how to perform split tests on how they act. Basically the behavioral equivalent of "KEYWORDS, ADS, LANDING PAGES PLZ KTHX"

Sure, you can use the 'tricks' to slay mad amounts of poon - but if you just want to be in a relationship with a girl you dig then you can use the information to 1) Not fuck up ... and 2) keep the attraction level high
 
Garrett said:
It's not about pulling tricks on women at all. It's more about knowing WHY women act the way they do... and using the newfound knowledge to NOT fuck up in the future.

It's more for men who don't know what they are doing wrong with women (because they have no natural game), and those who don't know how to perform split tests on how they act. Basically the behavioral equivalent of "KEYWORDS, ADS, LANDING PAGES PLZ KTHX"

Sure, you can use the 'tricks' to slay mad amounts of poon - but if you just want to be in a relationship with a girl you dig then you can use the information to 1) Not fuck up ... and 2) keep the attraction level high
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If you want to know what women want: Ask them and believe it or not many want different things, but they all want to be treated like a "lady".
 
dubtheAxe said:
Using little mental tricks might be fine if your trying to get laid when your a kid, but real women will see through your shit, and if they don't, do really want to share your life with a 'pet'?
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The majority of women, at least in America, are shallow and very easily influenced by their peers and pop stars on how they should behave. It happens to men too. That exists at all ages.

The "real women" out there are true gems. They are the ones that see through bullshit (kudos we found intelligence) and I'd like to admit I'm a sucker for them. Having a killer conversation with an attractive girl is a win win for me. Unfortunately, not many of them exist. The world is full of haystacks with over done hair and makeup.

I was out last night talking to one of my girlfriends when a brigade of prada and high heels strolled into the bar. We both agreed that they were smoking hot but didn't deserve any special attention, at least from our table. As soon as they started to order at the bar the song 'Closer' started playing in the heads of beta guys looking to buy them a drink. Sex on the brain. Of course the girls took the guys' drinks and the pride of fembots went casually about their own way high fiving each other on their victory as they found their own table. This is the classic game that a lot of women play to get what they want - whether it's drinks or attention daddy never gave them. Mental tricks are played by both sexes.

The "16 Commandments of Poon" (great linkbait btw) is more of a wake up call for guys to man up and quit being pussies when a squad of girls/women roll into any kind of establishment rather than a how to get laid guide.
 
Groomez said:
The majority of women, at least in America, are shallow and very easily influenced by their peers and pop stars on how they should behave. It happens to men too. That exists at all ages.

The "real women" out there are true gems. They are the ones that see through bullshit (kudos we found intelligence) and I'd like to admit I'm a sucker for them. Having a killer conversation with an attractive girl is a win win for me. Unfortunately, not many of them exist. The world is full of haystacks with over done hair and makeup.

I was out last night talking to one of my girlfriends when a brigade of prada and high heels strolled into the bar. We both agreed that they were smoking hot but didn't deserve any special attention, at least from our table. As soon as they started to order at the bar the song 'Closer' started playing in the heads of beta guys looking to buy them a drink. Sex on the brain. Of course the girls took the guys' drinks and the pride of fembots went casually about their own way high fiving each other on their victory as they found their own table. This is the classic game that a lot of women play to get what they want - whether it's drinks or attention daddy never gave them. Mental tricks are played by both sexes.
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This what I feared. The problem is, these women have great potential to make your life a misery. Why not let them fuck up someone else? You're better off learning to deal with your own company than settling for a manipulative bitch. How is society ever going to progress at this rate? Its like the irl relationship version of feeding the trolls.
 
Groomez said:
The majority of women, at least in America, are shallow and very easily influenced by their peers and pop stars on how they should behave. It happens to men too. That exists at all ages.

The "real women" out there are true gems. They are the ones that see through bullshit (kudos we found intelligence) and I'd like to admit I'm a sucker for them. Having a killer conversation with an attractive girl is a win win for me. Unfortunately, not many of them exist. The world is full of haystacks with over done hair and makeup.

I was out last night talking to one of my girlfriends when a brigade of prada and high heels strolled into the bar. We both agreed that they were smoking hot but didn't deserve any special attention, at least from our table. As soon as they started to order at the bar the song 'Closer' started playing in the heads of beta guys looking to buy them a drink. Sex on the brain. Of course the girls took the guys' drinks and the pride of fembots went casually about their own way high fiving each other on their victory as they found their own table. This is the classic game that a lot of women play to get what they want - whether it's drinks or attention daddy never gave them. Mental tricks are played by both sexes.

The "16 Commandments of Poon" (great linkbait btw) is more of a wake up call for guys to man up and quit being pussies when a squad of girls/women roll into any kind of establishment rather than a how to get laid guide.
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It's sort of like this Stickmanga 2 out of 3 post (had to get the Google Cache for it since the site's on a 302 error right now)

What girls aren't

nice, hot, and smart

it's true...girls can't be all three at once, it's impossible

basically you have three attributes: nice, hot, and smart

and you get to choose two

it's like a game show


girls1.jpg



the fact is, that if there was a girl that was all three, she would self implode and destruct and create a wormhole gravity rift in the space time continuum, causing matter and antimatter to collapse into a infinitely large black hole and the whole universe would be destroyed

girls3.jpg


so since the universe still exists while i am typing this...it means that there are definitely no hot, nice, and smart girls in existence at this time

case in point, there are many girls however that fit the OTHER categories:

1. only hot - these are nice to look at but aren't nice to talk to namely because they have the intelligence of a rock and yet they think they're the hottest thing since sliced bread and act like the queen of b*tchland

2. only smart - good to have conversations with, and to ask for help on your homework...but other than that...not much else

3. only nice - hey at least they have that

4. hot and smart - these are quite terrible to deal with. the hotstuffsus smartissus species are a dangerous kind as they have both the brains and the beauty and they set out to do one thing: own the male species

most of this kind are feminists, or worse yet, femme nazis

if not activists, this kind will slowly and surely kill you by slow and painful manipulation...then twist your feelings around and choke you to death in a sea of your own tears as you struggle to block them out of your mind and out of your heart only to have your heart well back up and stick in your throat making you drink your own salty tears



but either way, the hot and smart type will also sometimes act ONLY hot or ONLY smart but deep inside they know they've got what it takes to kill a guy

BEWARE OF THESE KIND OF GIRLS OR THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE DIRE!

5. smart and nice - well, the smart ones are usually nice anyway. but the nice ones aren't always smart. at least you can have a conversation with them and who knows, if you're into this kind they'd make a swell companion (girlfriend? wife?) and with a little makeup they could look (halfway) decent?

6. hot and nice - this type is fun to hang out with and fun to be friends with but if you're looking for more in the relationship...look elsewhere (sounds like a fortune cookie)

can't really have a conversation with them as they'll give you the same answers over and over like a broken record player...but you have to work with what you've got

so that basically breaks it down...categories 5 and 6 are probably going to be the types to settle down with unless your a masochist and like to inflict pain and suffering on yourself then you can try group 4...or...3, 2, 1

but in the end, beauty is in the eye of the beholder any way, so one day...boys, one day...you will find that elusive category 7: the hot, nice, smart girl that will one day rock your world (by creating a permanent wormhole rift and suck you in along with all your finances and make you a slave to the order of the sisterhood)

so until you find that category 7, have a great day and come back soon!
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If you have to act like a man, you aren't one. Being a man is about who you are all the time.
 
that's one nice effort!

i know it's easy to criticize someone's work than create your own, but, in all seriousness, get a mature girl as your partner rather than following some of those stupid tips and techniques listed there!

get someone who is understanding, that knows the philosophy of life, that's all you need to do to make your life a happy one.
 
Joshi said:
that's one nice effort!

i know it's easy to criticize someone's work than create your own, but, in all seriousness, get a mature girl as your partner rather than following some of those stupid tips and techniques listed there!

get someone who is understanding, that knows the philosophy of life, that's all you need to do to make your life a happy one.
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should I buy her things to show her that she is the center of my universe her and shower her with compliments too? fuck off
 
cougarclaws said:
can anyone translate for me? I don't see what "fags" have to do with this conversation.
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the problem between your and my posts is i was posting in philosophical tone and you were most probably like "me first, everyone else next".

i don't think you understand the real life! not that i am a philosophy guru, lol!
 
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