THE BEST FUCKING JOKE EVER!!

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Nemesis

Nemesis

not my real name
Nov 23, 2006
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated
conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex lives.........

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my
frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
 


A man passes by a whorehouse, and he sees a couple screwing on the lawn, in the driveway, under a tree, on the sidewalk.

The madam comes out, and he asks he what's going on, why are people having sex outside?

"We're having a yard sale today" she tells him.
 
why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

the ref was blowing fouls on the other side.
 
this is only half a joke, you are welcome to add to it if you have a new nationality that make sense.

two men and a woman in a deserted island, what happens if :


they are italians = the woman will kill one of the 2 men

they are spanish = one man will kill the other man

they are french = no problemz ov courze!

they are brits = no problems 'cause nobody introduced the woman to the men

they are polish = the men will kill the woman
 
why are women like condoms?

A: they both spend about 90% of the time in your wallet and 10% of the time on your cock
 
Q: Why does the bride wear white on the wedding day?

A: The dishwasher has to match the stove.

Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

A: Nothing, you already told her twice.

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A: It is one of those evolution things, so they can stand close to the sink to do dishes.

Q: How many men does it take to change the light bulb in the kitchen?

A: None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

Q: What do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?

A: Slap her.
 
I've always been enthralled by "white people" jokes since there doesn't seem to be enough of them. Here are two of my favorites:


Q: What do you call 300 white guys chasing one black guy?




A: The PGA Tour.

Q: What's twelve inches long and white?






A: Nothing.
 
What are the three fastest ways of communication? Three fastest means of communication in the world are:

1. Tele-phone
2. Tele-vision
3. Tell-a-woman.

You still want faster?
4. Tell her not to tell anyone.
 
Since nationalities ain't off limits:

Why doesn't Mexico ever do good at the Olympics?

Because everyone that can run, jump, or swim is already here.
 
Q: How did copper wire get invented?

A: 2 Jews fighting over a penny.
 
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