Time.com: "Having Kids Is Foolish!"

[JakeStratham]

Study: Does Having Kids Makes Parents Delusional? - TIME Healthland

The premise:

Having kids makes parents' lives less enjoyable in several ways. Yet, parents fool themselves into thinking they're having a great time.

From the Time piece:

All parents know that having kids is a blessing — except when it's a nightmare of screaming fits, diapers, runny noses, wars over bedtimes and homework and clothes. To say nothing of bills too numerous to list. Some economists have argued that having kids is an economically silly investment...

Another quote:

... idealizing the emotional rewards of parenting helps parents to rationalize the financial costs of raising children.

Good thing for the human race that we're so emotional, and it's so easy to procreate.

Vagina + penis = baby. *




* Vagina + penis = voter.

 

[nickster]

Having a kid in a few months so I wont even bother reading that.....too late

 

[dreamache]

I have a 14 month old of my own.. and while it can be very difficult, I know that later in life most people without children are lonely and pretty miserable; at least the ones I know of in my own family / friends.

And yeah, while you can always do better off financially without children, is that all life is really about? It's only driving me harder to make more money, so the argument could be made for self motivated people (like most of us here) that it could be seen as a motivational investment to maximize earnings

In the end I'll have no regrets. The same argument could be made for those who DON'T want children and stick to it. To each his own.

 

[JakeStratham]

I have a 14 month old of my own.. and while it can be very difficult, I know that later in life most people without children are lonely and pretty miserable; at least the ones I know of in my own family / friends.

I dunno, man. From the piece:

Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don't live with young children. Parents are also angrier and more depressed than nonparents — and each additional child makes them even angrier. Couples who choose not to have kids also have better, more satisfying marriages than couples who have kids.

That's a bleak picture.

To each his own.

Definitely.

 

[StackCash]

I never grew up with a family or whatnot, so the idea of having a rugrat around someday sounds nice. Besides, who wants to be on their deathbed and have no one that wants to steal your money.

 

[onlinemoniez]

I'd rather hack my cock off with a dull, rusty hatchet than have a kid.

 

[AdHustler]

I agree with this article

 

[dreamache]

That's a bleak picture.

I think it would depend on the time in the parent's life those researchers fielded those questions. If you ask them when their children are toddlers, of fuckin course they're going to feel "less calm".

And it also depends on whether or not they paid any attention to expected vs. unexpected offspring in the research that was done; that would make a big difference too.

To look at it from an opposite perspective, me n' my dad go out n' drink/play pool often, I think that'd kick ass once I'm older and have my own son to do that with.

I think people who scoff at the idea of having children gain that fear from seeing other children and how they act and how difficult they can be; but it's an entirely different picture when that child is your own. It's still difficult at times, but for me the positivity of seeing your own blood grow up in so many different ways is worth it.

With that said though, being a parent isn't for everyone, and a good % of those who are parents, shouldn't be parents.

Money isn't an issue for me fortunately; plus my wife's new hobby is extreme couponing, so the cost of our child isn't much at all. In fact she had my ass go out to the damn grocery store today (child is sick) with like 40 fuckin coupons. $120 bill down to $40. In fact I'm starting CouponsCourse.com soon; if I make a million from it, that's solely attributed to the birth of my child! I know, a stretch.

 

[Xombie]

Being a live-in Nanny for 2 children has taught me what an emotional, physical and financial drain they are. I didn't want kids before this and I CERTAINLY don't want them now, sexlifeplz. But man, when we are in the car and they are singing Taylor Swift at the top of their lungs, its hard to find annoying and I can't help but grin so it almost makes up for the times I want to wring their necks.

Spend time around friends' kids to get your fix even if you don't want kids, they are fun.

 

[Insomniac]

vagina + penis = child support

or mouth even...

 

[Roman Holiday]

Being a new parent, I can honestly see alot of truth to this... My wife and I were much more carefree a couple years ago before we had our daughter.

But, and I guess this is me "idealizing the emotional rewards" I wouldn't give it up for the world. Everyday is more amazing than the day before. It teaches you to stop being so damn selfish and live for something else beyond #1.

But the stress thing is real. I think being a good parent and instilling discipline yet at the same time with love can eliminate a lot of the stress, if you let your kid become a snot nosed little brat, your life will be miserable. But there is only so much you can do, especially when they are still too young to listen very often.

Which is why one of my primary goals is to earn enough to comfortably afford a live-in nanny. That's probably the only way I can think of to get the stress free living of not having children and also the rewards of raising an amazing little person, something I wouldn't give up even if I was in the poor house. One time I was out to dinner and I noticed a group of parents having dinner together enjoying their kids company every so often and then when the kid gets bored they will go off and do whatever and the nanny will follow them and take care of them while the parents sit there, chill, have drinks without a care in the world. Thats where it's at.

 

[justo_tx]

Which is why one of my primary goals is to earn enough to comfortably afford a live-in nanny. That's probably the only way I can think of to get the stress free living of not having children and also the rewards of raising an amazing little person, something I wouldn't give up even if I was in the poor house. One time I was out to dinner and I noticed a group of parents having dinner together enjoying their kids company every so often and then when the kid gets bored they will go off and do whatever and the nanny will follow them and take care of them while the parents sit there, chill, have drinks without a care in the world. Thats where it's at.

One of my goals too, seems like the only way to go.

 

[adammcd]

continuing your family bloodline is the most manliest thing you could do. what's next, articles about the downsides of driving fast, or the cons of walking away from explosions without looking at them?

 

[Insomniac]

continuing your family bloodline is the most manliest thing you could do. what's next, articles about the downsides of driving fast, or the cons of walking away from explosions without looking at them?

Bloodline != surname

 

[Rusky]

For poor young people it sucks. I can see that.

For me its the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
It would be interesting the see if the people that wrote this article have kids, and do they have an agenda. Considering the fact its time magazine, I'm sure they do.

Most American millionaires have kids and are married. That's a fact.

 

[mattfca]

pussys

 

[-God-]

I'd rather hack my cock off with a dull, rusty hatchet than have a kid.

I am agree. I have many friends who are married and have kids, and I'm not talking youngsters throwing away their younger years, I'm talking mid thirties here.

I look at their lives and it only reinforces my decision to remain single and without children. I have no stress, I'm rarely unhappy and my life is easy as fuck.

Are theres'? Fuck no. They're more stressed, more miserable and having a harder life than I'll ever have, regardless of the wonderful emotional reward that is procreating.

If they lose their job, they're fucked. If I go broke tomorrow, I have no dependants and no worries.

 

[Rusky]

Well looks like the author is gay. Not surprised.


No body said having kids is easy.
But just like work, so certain people its rewarding.
Welcome to the narcissistic generation.

 

[Andrew Scherer]

Well looks like the author is gay. Not surprised.

lolol youre right

looks like someone is trying to rationalize that running your own tribe sucks because they cant

 

[JakeStratham]

I think it would depend on the time in the parent's life those researchers fielded those questions. If you ask them when their children are toddlers, of fuckin course they're going to feel "less calm".

And it also depends on whether or not they paid any attention to expected vs. unexpected offspring in the research that was done; that would make a big difference too.

Good points. I haven't seen the actual study, so I can't say whether they took this stuff into account.

To look at it from an opposite perspective, me n' my dad go out n' drink/play pool often, I think that'd kick ass once I'm older and have my own son to do that with.

That does sound kick-ass. Of course, I know a lot of parents who speak to their kids once a year... for about five minutes.

plus my wife's new hobby is extreme couponing, so the cost of our child isn't much at all. In fact she had my ass go out to the damn grocery store today (child is sick) with like 40 fuckin coupons. $120 bill down to $40. In fact I'm starting CouponsCourse.com soon; if I make a million from it, that's solely attributed to the birth of my child! I know, a stretch.

lol Great idea for a site, especially with the frugality/minimalist mindset gripping the nation.

When I go to the grocery, I never get behind old people (they have all day. I do not.) or women (for a few reasons). You're screwing with my algo. Now, it's old people, women, and dreamache (because of the coupons).

On a serious note, I was mostly interested in the psychology part of the article. The rationalization part. I know I do it. I'm pretty sure everyone does.

Being a live-in Nanny for 2 children has taught me what an emotional, physical and financial drain they are.

You might get a kick outta this article:

To breed or not to breed - Michelle Goldberg - Salon.com

It's a lady's perspective on whether to have a kid. Good, engaging read (though long).

But the stress thing is real. I think being a good parent and instilling discipline yet at the same time with love can eliminate a lot of the stress, if you let your kid become a snot nosed little brat, your life will be miserable. But there is only so much you can do, especially when they are still too young to listen very often.

You bring up a good point. I tell people, "Having a kid is easy. If you're a girl, spread your legs. If you're a guy, stick it in, and move around a bit. Presto! But raising a kid to be a good person... that's hard. Really hard."