Time.com: "Having Kids Is Foolish!"

[billywiseman]

Practically a link bait article. And we all fell for it.

Step 1: Take a strong position that a large group of people disagree with.
Step 2: Write articles about it.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit!

 

[lukep]

There is no alternative, and that's my point...

It sounds like we agree on what the most likely alternative to not being conceived is... Complete nothingness.

But which of these do you believe is a happier fate: (we'll stick to humanity to make this fair)

A. A sex slave in the middle east that is beaten daily.
B. An ugly Chinese woman who yearns for freedom but lives under censorship.
C. A Somalian pirate who kills for a living.
D. A North Korean factory worker/soldier, not allowed to marry.
E. A typical American who never finds love, even getting divorced.

-That's a pretty accurate, random sampling of your (human) choices when you get born in this world. You don't get to pick. Only your parents do, and all of those examples had parents that did.

So my point is that every person could have been born into a happy or shitty life. Times are getting worse with the overcrowding problems these days and it is becoming more and more likely that any given child today will have an unhappy life.

So are you still sure you'd choose to be born over nothingness if somehow given the chance? If so, pick one of the 5 parents above...

 

[lukep]

You could still end up a lonely old man even with kids.

Very good point! My dad certainly did.

 

[Chianti]

This thread still makes sense if you substitute every instance of 'baby' with 'puppy'.

 

[kingofsp]

Practically a link bait article. And we all fell for it.

Step 1: Take a strong position that a large group of people disagree with.
Step 2: Write articles about it.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit!

I would like to point out that I was to lazy to actually check out the article.

 

[JakeStratham]

A story:

Years ago, a friend of mine was on a cruise. She was talking to this older lady. The lady told my friend she had had three kids, all grown. My friend, always the type of pry, asked the lady whether she had any regrets. The lady's response was, "Yes. I regret having them. They held me back from doing everything I wanted to do."

She went on to say that everyone claims having kids is wonderful. In reality, it's a fantasy. There are moments of joy, but those moments alternate with periods of despair. Her kids were adults, so she had time and experience from which to draw.

Maybe she was a sociopath. Maybe she was just incredibly selfish. Or, maybe she was revealing a slice of truth many of us are unwilling to confront.

I never met the lady, but I've never forgotten what she said.

 

[erect]

luke is 100% spot on with his assessment ... it's not about the nanny or dropping career shit, it's more about priorities. If you don't have financial stability AND large amounts of time, you have no business bringing a kid up in this world.

but a parent does not have to drop their careers, their personal lives, and/or hire a staff to most effectively raise a child.

Interestingly, as an IMer, we all have the ability to live a hybrid lifestyle ... dedicated to work AND kids ... because we have the ability to be at home. Having no higher priority than your children is a fucking huge deal, don't kid yourself.

_________________________

As far as the article goes .... meh, different strokes for different folks. Living vicariously through friends over the past decade and a half I can say for certain that both lifestyles have their perks.

 

[schockergd]

I absolutely love taking care of my child , she's one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Anyone who thinks a child is a burden or hassle shouldn't ever have a kid, heck I'll take them off your hands if you want.

 

[mikecarquote]

Lemme ask you this: What is it about the realization of my parents having me for selfish reasons threatens you so?

LOL - You sound like me when I was 14 trying to rationalize that my parents owed me big time since I "did not ask to be born". Now that I am older, well I am just glad they gave me a chance to experience life. Didn't take that away.

 

[amateursurgeon]

WTF? This is bullshit. My kid's making me a fortune.

She's a very cute little girl, and I take her along to any sales calls with women. 100% close rate since she arrived, up from 25%. I can also relate much better to the main demographic I sell into (families), so my copy is converting more online too.

Plus - before she was born, I used to bum around the house until 2pm getting bored shitless, because I'm too fucking lazy to do any work in the mornings.

Now I spend the time playing with her, and feel like I've done shit with my day, before starting work at my usual time.

It's nothing to do with the kid - it's what you make of it. If I chose to treat as a millstone, I'm sure she would be.

 

[SandnSurf]

I love the sound of a toddler laughing...perhaps a fleeting remembrance of when I was that age and life was much simpler.

 

[JakeStratham]

I love the sound of a toddler laughing

We all do.

This is good...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP4abiHdQpc]YouTube - Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper[/ame]


This is bad...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS7nqwGt4-I]YouTube - Baby crying[/ame]


It'd be great if they did more of the former and less of the latter.

 

[tammysf]

For poor young people it sucks. I can see that.

For me its the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
It would be interesting the see if the people that wrote this article have kids, and do they have an agenda. Considering the fact its time magazine, I'm sure they do.

Most American millionaires have kids and are married. That's a fact.

this is how i feel...we had babies a little later in life so we are in a better financial place than if i was a teen mom or something. Yes having babies is hard but I have never laughed, smiled, loved so much as i do with my babies now. i had a pretty good life before kids but now have a REALLY GREAT life with them.

an acquaintance once said about having kids: "It makes everything a little more difficult and everything a little bit more wonderful."

 

[Hav3n]

Hey....

All you rich, successful, smart people.... you're not having kids and other people are.

Way to fuck up the future, assholes.

 

[lukep]

All you rich, successful, smart people.... you're not having kids and other people are.

Way to fuck up the future, assholes.

I once thought like that, especially after seeing the movie Idiocracy. (Seems funny but has a deeply disturbing truth to it about this point.)

However, the bottom line is about love of your offspring. Do you care more about your child, or about the planet?

For those who are such uber-greenies that they care about the planet earth first and their child second, then your warning should be taken to their heart... They can safely have children and disregard them and run off to join greenpeace instead of raising their child properly.

But for those of us who don't wish to have a child we couldn't devote 100% of our time and attention to, having fewer children is the only way.

So fuck the Earth, at least when it's up against the person I love the most.

 

[taktikz]

I have a 14 month old of my own.. and while it can be very difficult, I know that later in life most people without children are lonely and pretty miserable; at least the ones I know of in my own family / friends.

And yeah, while you can always do better off financially without children, is that all life is really about? It's only driving me harder to make more money, so the argument could be made for self motivated people (like most of us here) that it could be seen as a motivational investment to maximize earnings

In the end I'll have no regrets. The same argument could be made for those who DON'T want children and stick to it. To each his own.

I think the point is to think more about the financial aspects of having kids and preparing yourself for a family.

 

[Hav3n]

I once thought like that, especially after seeing the movie Idiocracy. (Seems funny but has a deeply disturbing truth to it about this point.)

However, the bottom line is about love of your offspring. Do you care more about your child, or about the planet?

For those who are such uber-greenies that they care about the planet earth first and their child second, then your warning should be taken to their heart... They can safely have children and disregard them and run off to join greenpeace instead of raising their child properly.

But for those of us who don't wish to have a child we couldn't devote 100% of our time and attention to, having fewer children is the only way.

So fuck the Earth, at least when it's up against the person I love the most.

It's actually inspired by Idiocracy. Glad you got the reference... but... still....

Someone mentioned Ted Turner here earlier... Ted wants the poor to sell their 'child bearing rights' to the rich. So that the rich have the kids and the poor drive themselves to extinction.... nice thought eh?

 

[dreamache]

But for those of us who don't wish to have a child we couldn't devote 100% of our time and attention to, having fewer children is the only way.

One thing that made me laugh about the 100% time devotion stuff is your mother/father inlaw didn't really devote 100% of their time if they hired nannies. What kind of example does that set for their children? "Yeah, my mom and dad just ordered the nannies to take care of us like when we pissed the bed, needed diapers changed, and were just a pain in the ass."

I read my wife what you said and it was just comical and wtf to both of us. The part that was most interesting was, "I would never, ever bring a child into this horrible world unless I could do it like my in-laws did it." - you better have millions stashed in the bank for all those nannies, cooks and "educators". And assuming that's the same standard you'd wish everyone else would take, say goodbye to 99.9% of the population, and also goodbye to any growth of the population; that type of standard is economically impossible for *every* person to take on.

 

[lukep]

Someone mentioned Ted Turner here earlier... Ted wants the poor to sell their 'child bearing rights' to the rich. So that the rich have the kids and the poor drive themselves to extinction.... nice thought eh?

Wow, why didn't I think of that.!? Fuckin' Awesome! A+++, Ted for President!!!

....Of course, how the fuck are they going to enforce it, castration? Not an easy sell... But the poor are often stupid so they'll likely settle for 1/2 million and the world will be far, far better.

One thing that made me laugh about the 100% time devotion stuff is your mother/father inlaw didn't really devote 100% of their time if they hired nannies. What kind of example does that set for their children? "Yeah, my mom and dad just ordered the nannies to take care of us like when we pissed the bed, needed diapers changed, and were just a pain in the ass."

Now go back and carefully read what I said was the very most important part in that same sentence.

If you don't PERSONALLY spend every waking moment with the child, they can become spoiled. (Usually do.) -All those cooks, nannys, or other kind of outsourcers are just a support staff... You very likely couldn't spend all your time with your child unless you had that staff.

And assuming that's the same standard you'd wish everyone else would take, say goodbye to 99.9% of the population, and also goodbye to any growth of the population; that type of standard is economically impossible for *every* person to take on..

Of course it is... That's the big problem with our planet to date. (Well, religion is a biggie too..)

Since this problem is not being solved, at all, in any way, the population is spiraling out of control rapidly and yet another good reason to not have children today is because they're going to be forced to live in a much poorer world than the one you are in now.

In 100 years, America could very likely be as dirty and crowded as an Indian slum is today... Would you move your child to an Indian slum on purpose?

Of course not, that would be a horrible quality of life that you wouldn't wish on WaFo readers. Yet you did gamble on exactly that by having a child in America today.

 

[dreamache]

Wow, why didn't I think of that.!? Fuckin' Awesome! A+++, Ted for President!!!

....Of course, how the fuck are they going to enforce it, castration? Not an easy sell... But the poor are often stupid so they'll likely settle for 1/2 million and the world will be far, far better.


Now go back and carefully read what I said was the very most important part in that same sentence.

If you don't PERSONALLY spend every waking moment with the child, they can become spoiled. (Usually do.) -All those cooks, nannys, or other kind of outsourcers are just a support staff... You very likely couldn't spend all your time with your child unless you had that staff.

My wife was an RN but quit to be with our child. We don't have a support staff, and she's with her basically every moment, as am I since I work at home. So this idea that you need a support staff is entirely false.

Of course it is... That's the big problem with our planet to date. (Well, religion is a biggie too..)

Since this problem is not being solved, at all, in any way, the population is spiraling out of control rapidly and yet another good reason to not have children today is because they're going to be forced to live in a much poorer world than the one you are in now.

In 100 years, America could very likely be as dirty and crowded as an Indian slum is today... Would you move your child to an Indian slum on purpose?

Of course not, that would be a horrible quality of life that you wouldn't wish on WaFo readers. Yet you did gamble on exactly that by having a child in America today.

My mother inlaw is an extreme christian nutso and shares the same view. That the world is falling to pieces and to have children is an act selfishness because of the impending doomsday scenarios and/or because the world is noticeably deteriorating.

The world isn't falling apart, the world is a much better place than it was a hundred+ years ago in many ways, and a hell of a lot better than it was 500+ years ago (you know, when many governments were legally allowed to rape any women they chose). Your same argument was probably made during WWII holocaust. Society sprung back, it always does.

You can't deprive yourself of having children on the sole account that the world *might* become a disaster; life is about living. If you want children and let that possibility hold you back from having them, you'll live a life of "what if" and regret. And if you didn't end up experiencing that what if/regret, then you obviously didn't want to be a parent all that much anyways.

I'm thinking your very negative view on the world is mainly due to your own negative upbringing, and it seems you may need counseling (not being a troll).