Uh.. I asked me g/f to marry me and she broke up with me

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BigWill

BigWill

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Oct 14, 2007
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So I posted about my g/f in the other thread.. well. Last night I asked her to marry me. She gave me some long speach about how she has to start a new chapter in her life. One where she can grow as a person.. ALONE. She said she has wanted to say something for the past year or so.

This is fucked up. We have been together 9 years. Lived together for 7 years. She is my fucking world, I love her so much. Im super close to her family too, her dad was really happy when I told him I was going to ask her.

I don't know what to do :(


just had to vent :(:(:(
 


That's ... really weird. My first pass at your post I thought it was going to say 9 months, and that would have been somewhat understandable but 9 years? Is she 100% dead set on this?

PS - Of course I'm extremely sorry that you're going through this. Went through it myself (almost exactly) a few months ago, except it was only a 1.3 yr relationship.
 
JESUS CHRIST!!!

I think we need to get her back...

And you need to stay the hell away from all hard liquor, firearms, picture albums, phones, and sharp objects.
 
Jon said:
I was thinking a tad more on the cruel side... like staging her doctor calling about the positive HERPES test results..
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How about offering her free cosmetic surgery, then implanting something that will Rick roll anyone that touches her tits? :D That's pretty cruel.
 
SEO_Mike said:
How about offering her free cosmetic surgery, then implanting something that will Rick roll anyone that touches her tits? :D That's pretty cruel.
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Would it crash their browser though? Because that would be REALLY cruel!
 
Will,

First, I'm sorry. Seriously.

During her long speech, were you able to identify why she "has to start a new chapter in her life?" Why she wants to grow as a person... alone?

I realize these types of things aren't usually communicated directly (mostly, it's a matter of inferring from language, body movement, eyes, etc.). But, were you able to get a glimpse of the catalyst?

Is there another guy?

Does she need adventure?

Does she want to be pursued?

Is there something about you that gets on her nerves?

I don't mean to sound callous. But, if there's any way to identify the catalyst, you can at least figure out how much control you have and whether the effort to get her back is worthwhile.

Again, I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling, man.


BigWill said:
So I posted about my g/f in the other thread.. well. Last night I asked her to marry me. She gave me some long speach about how she has to start a new chapter in her life. One where she can grow as a person.. ALONE. She said she has wanted to say something for the past year or so.

This is fucked up. We have been together 9 years. Lived together for 7 years. She is my fucking world, I love her so much. Im super close to her family too, her dad was really happy when I told him I was going to ask her.

I don't know what to do :(


just had to vent :(:(:(
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Will - in a cold way, this is good news. Imagine if you'd asked her just a year and a half ago, you'd be in your first year of a potentially very unhappy marriage.

I'm with Barman on this one, you may soon find out that she's been unfaithful, although I know that's not going to make you feel better.

As opposed to "striking back" at her, like many have suggested, my recommendation for a healthy rebound is to deal with it a different way.. Start drinking more heavily and stop paying your bills.. :) JK

Good luck !
 
some points from my ebook - wtf mate?

-look at as best thing that could have happened to you
-why u want to be with someone that dosent want to be with you, ppl go through whole life feeling like shit cause of their marriages, consider yourself lucky
-you have exp to find someone better now
-love...shes a motherfucker
-time heals all...except herpes...soo wear a rubber dude...and get yur ass to the rebound scene
 
Ok, first off to the other posters, what exactly did she 'do' to him? Would you rather she went along with it because everyone thinks it's the right thing to do (sounds like her dad is going to be very unhappy with her) and then break it off later, humiliating him by breaking an engagement, or would you rather she just be honest off the bat? Secondly, to the OP, do NOTHING. Don't do anything right now, not one thing. Sit in your home and stay there until you're not feeling like you do now. Don't. Do. Anything.
 
umm...actually... i would do anything.. BUT stay at home and do nothing...thats the worst thing you can do.... you dont wanna wallow in self pity.... tis the load road to depression.... i would go hang with close friends...do anything to keep yourself busy and get your mind off things for a while....reflect in couple days/weeks when head is more clear...but yah easier said then done
 
barman said:
she's been cheating on you for a year. fuck that bitch!
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Barman has an almost 99% probability in being correct. Sorry to hear it though.

The reality is women don't just "break up" or "need to start a new chapter" especially in a long term relationship without there already being a new chapter in their lives (ie. a dude).

The most likely scenario is that BigWill was plan B for about a year while she was trying several new chapters.

Yeah, women can be complete heartless cunts. All I have for you is don't do yourself a disservice and demand to find out what dick head stole her away from you, just remember this poor guys dick wasn't forced into her, she was open to it.

If you turn stalker and start demanding all sorts of info, the reality is it will never, ever be the same if by some miracle you get her back. And the alternative is that you get her new guys name and beat the shit out of him, which would again, only put you at risk for a world of hurt, legally and otherwise.

Reality is, if she really doesn't want you, she doesn't and it fucking sucks. You can't force her to although some psycho nut jobs seem to go the route of "if I can't have you, no one will.." ...like um, yeah, that's really going to make her want you more ;)

Good luck.

BTW, I speak from *direct* experience in this, although, luckily I had no intention of marry my ex-, nearly 10 years with her. And my life is TONS better for it now. Oh and she's not emptying my bank accounts now either. Woot!
 
i've seen that kind of shit before and what barman said is very possible.

the best revenge you can get is the hardest thing to do. do nothing. give her no reaction. don't say a word to her. get away from her as fast as possible and have nothing to do with her ever again. don't ever see her, talk to her, nothing.

there are billions of women on the planet. billions.
 
I was recently with some girl for a few years and we broke up. It sucks man, but you gotta move on. Takes some time to get your game back. But keep your head up and make rational decisions. You'll feel better in due time.
 
_arms_ said:
i've seen that kind of shit before and what barman said is very possible.

the best revenge you can get is the hardest thing to do. do nothing. give her no reaction. don't say a word to her. get away from her as fast as possible and have nothing to do with her ever again. don't ever see her, talk to her, nothing.

there are billions of women on the planet. billions.
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Good advice. She expects you to whine and grovel while trying to win her back. Don't ever do that. Doing so lowers your man value in her eyes.

Also, I would suggest going and banging 10 other chicks. She won't seem so special then, allowing you to move on to bigger and better things.
 
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