...and gives me blow jobs when I want them.
I have yet to meet anyone that has a reciprocal marriage.
I thought I was in love once. It lead to all sorts of embarrassing behavior.
That's because most people suck at communicating what they're really feeling at the moment, which leads to inconsistency of character, which leads to pent up resentment and anger, which leads to sad pandas.
If you can't talk about anything at any time you are f.u.c.k.e.d.