Why Did You Get Married?

Most people get married because it's EXPECTED. Women get married because they dream about it for years and years and the whole romanticism of it, "bonding for life" and so on. Men get married because the women want them to, and society wants them to, and the vast majority of people (both men and women) cannot stand up to society's pressure.

The expectation is: Go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, and have kids.

Oh and lets not forget that men really believe they'll get more sex if they're married. It's not even close to being true but there it is.

There is also a belief that if you want to have kids, that being married is "safer." For both men and women, it is also a way of removing their insecurities that they will end up without someone in the long term.

The legal benefits of it (being allowed into hospital rooms etc) are nice and all, but that's not the real reason most people do it.

I think the best thing to do is to have a private psuedo-marriage ceremony where you agree to spend your lives together, rather than some thing involving the law. Divorces are hugely expensive, its almost always men that get the bum side of the stick in all aspects of it, and they're not worth it.

Another reason to get married might be simply to make it look like you are a stable business person / investment.
 


We've been together for 18 years and neither of us give a shit about marriage. The whole thing is pointless if you love one another and are faithful and supportive to each other. The fact that she's stuck by me through thick and thin is validation enough.

That and we view it in it's current form as an institute of religion. The only people that really seem to frown on not being married are those that care what some god or another thinks. That's not where the origins of marriage lie, but that's where it's gone in the last 500 years or so.
 
blueRAP said:
I'm 24 yrs old with no plans on getting married anytime soon, if ever. To me it creates an unnecessary sense of commitment which can end up as a huge legal and financial bind (especially as a male) if your partner transforms into someone you didn't think they were.

I believe that men are more polygamous in nature as well. On the most basic primal level, men can fuck tons different women and knock up many of them at the same time, while women are limited to finding and counting on a single man to be there and protect herself and the baby.

So legally (most of the time), and instinctively (every time), marriage is more beneficial to women then it is to men.
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How bout if you don't find a partner YOU WILL DIE! DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNNN Never-Married Penalty: Early Death? - CBS News


Listen, I'm not a proponent of marriage per se, but I do believe in the basic human psychology that shapes us. You can fight it but when you do there are consequences. (unfulfillment, sickness, death)

People need people. (que Barbara) It's just the way it is.
 
I step into the great unknown,
and a ball and chain I call my own
Because marriage doesn't work in the world today,
it's an institution that is in decay
and if I have love I wish to portray,
I will surely find another way
 
blueRAP said:
I... if your partner transforms into someone you didn't think they were.
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^^ Needs to be quoted

People change in their late teen years and again in their mid-late 20's ... probably more later on in life too. Just because you married a girl with DSL doesn't mean she won't be using them to preach a few years from now.

Just something for all you youngsters to seriously think about. Women seem to be constantly in motion.
 
erect said:
Women seem to be constantly in motion.
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So are men... what was your point?

I know that I am not the guy she met 13 years ago. I also know that I am not the guy she married 3 years ago.

Change is the only constant.

::emp::
 
emp said:
So are men... what was your point?
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Are you being serious? If so, I'll gladly reply more thoroughly but to equate a man's change in personality to a woman's is like comparing apples to a gall bladder.

There are millions of references about a woman's psychological change throughout life. Guys just have a "midlife crisis" where they act out their youth ... that's more of regression than metamorphosis.
 
erect said:
Women seem to be constantly in motion.
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My husband says I change about every 6 months and he was able to deal with it once he realized there was, indeed, a constant in the change.

He doesn't change at all. And I refute the cliche that women marry a man to change him. I think I would divorce him if he did. I love everything about that man, even the weirdest most annoying things are still what make him, him.
 
turbolapp said:
My husband says I change about every 6 months and he was able to deal with it once he realized there was, indeed, a constant in the change.

He doesn't change at all. And I refute the cliche that women marry a man to change him. I think I would divorce him if he did. I love everything about that man, even the weirdest most annoying things are still what make him, him.
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You made me realize that I would marry a chick who does IM, and ONLY a chick who does IM.

Most of my misogynistic tendencies come from the chicks that I know. Most of them are lazy sacks of shit who don't want to do anything and are simply looking to marry their way up the socioeconomic ladder. They are ALL gold diggers, and they are proud of it. They somehow think that they deserve money despite not doing anything to earn it. I work my fucking ass off to make my money, and to think that a woman can simply enter into a contract with no legal consideration other than the fact that she married, and have equal access to someone else s money absolutely appalls me. If you want money, fucking earn it. My entire generation is replete with the laziest, most entitled fucks in history. It's fucking disgusting.
 
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onlinemoniez said:
You made me realize that I would marry a chick who does IM, and ONLY a chick who does IM.

Most of my misogynistic tendencies come from the chicks that I know. Most of them are lazy sacks of shit who don't want to do anything and are simply looking to marry their way up the socioeconomic ladder. They are ALL gold diggers, and they are proud of it. They somehow think that they deserve money despite not doing anything to earn it. I work my fucking ass off to make my money, and to think that a woman can simply enter into a contract with no legal consideration other than the fact that she married, and have equal access to someone else s money absolutely appalls me. If you want money, fucking earn it. My entire generation is replete with the laziest, most entitled fucks in history. It's fucking disgusting.
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Agree. It's because women are born with an insurance policy between their legs. If a women simply takes care of herself she'll never have to worry about shelter or food.

Also, men are addicts for what women have, and as the addicts we usually pay the dealer. Unless you're smart enough to not want to play that game.

So yes, on the rare occasion you find an attractive female that also has a good work ethic you've found a keeper. She doesnt have to be in IM alone though.. why just IM? WTF
 
WickedJoe said:
So yes, on the rare occasion you find an attractive female that also has a good work ethic you've found a keeper.
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Be prepared for a forward thinking non-traditional woman though. If she's a hard working entrepreneur she's not going to sit around and make you sandwiches everyday. I know some of you guys get disillusioned when you try to have it both ways. :D

The point is realize what it is you REALLY want, not what you think you're supposed to want and then marry it.
 
turbolapp said:
Be prepared for a forward thinking non-traditional woman though. If she's a hard working entrepreneur she's not going to sit around and make you sandwiches everyday. I know some of you guys get disillusioned when you try to have it both ways. :D

The point is realize what it is you REALLY want, not what you think you're supposed to want and then marry it.
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I hear ya. In all honesty I know i got seriously lucky with my catch, hah. She even likes online games and sci-fi shows/movies.

Also, the whole relationship thing is something I'm always in constant conflict over. My logical side tells me that it's likely both men and women human animals are not naturally monogamous. But in the mean time we're pretty happy being that way. I suppose it's just a lot of balancing and deciding what's more important to you.. a fresh new catch.. or a quality long term catch.
 
I'm not a big fan of psychology because I think it creates a very narrow view of the human experience. It's frequently a justification for social determinism.

That's not to say that psychological phenomenon doesn't exist, but I'm a methodological individualist. I work with models at their simplest level, not some macro aggregation which can end up completely divorced from human action.

Everyone is different. Nearly everyone (if not everyone) is capable of overcoming the moods and perspectives of the herd if they choose to.

Psychology can inform us about the general, but tells us little about the specific. And the specific is where the power of understanding lies. As online marketers who target long tails, and work micro-niches extra hard, we understand how important differentiation is.
 
been married 6.5 years and I owe it all too...

roofies-roofies-demotivational-poster-1246648606.jpg
 
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