Census Trouble, but I'm not backing down. Help?

BluAffiliate

New member
Sep 6, 2009
1,330
32
0
A couple of months ago apparently Census forms were sent out. Probably due to the sheer amount of junk mail I get it probably was sent straight to the trash. Anyway, a few weeks later a dorky Asian guy shows up at my APT (and I really value my privacy) telling me I never filled out the census. Immediately he starts asking me about my name, phone number, how many people live in my house, how many toilers there are here and even my income. Strangely enough he was also holding a GPS (!!?). I tell him that I value my privacy and that the only thing I will tell him is how many people live in this house (2) and that he can be on his way. He then begins to threaten me saying that for every question I do not answer I can be fined $100 up to a maximum of $5000, to which I kindly replied by closing the door on him.

I thought I was done with that, but just to be sure I called my landlord and told him not to let in any census workers if they chose to come back and he said that's totally fine and dandy.

Thinking this whole matter is over, to my surprise I come home to find a slip slipped under my door saying a census worker has come to my place and I wasn't home but they require that I call them as soon as I get a chance. I talked to my landlord and said they had a legal right to enter and was sorry but had to let the census worker in.

Being pissed off with all this bullshit I call the census office and tell them to leave me alone. My exact words were: "Don't send anyone to my private property, is that understood?" To which the guy replied: we take threats very seriously here sir, you do realize you just called a Federal Office? Furthermore, he claimed that every US Citizen is required by law to answer the census, to which I quipped, "How do you know I'm a legal immigrant?" to which he gave me a 'hmm, that's interesting' type of answer. We ended the conversation with him saying he will continue sending census workers to my front door.

What turned into a minor annoyance may have just placed me on Big Sis' terror list and the INS might be coming to my door.

How can I get rid of these census workers from bothering me? And no, I will not capitulate or give them any information.
 


Just answer the god damned census, it's not rocket science brohammerstein. I can understand you not wanting to tell them about your income (believe me I didn't tell them either), but you're being a big douche right now over something so trivial.

My 2¢'s.
 
don't think there's any solution other than leaving the country. really though -- what's the big deal? you can't really win that fight.
 
Don't worry, they only grabbed the GPS coordinates so they know where to send the cruise missile.
 
My Mom is doing the census thing for the next 8 weeks, and tons of people are pure assholes, just answer the questions bros, it takes 5 minutes of your damn day. Or be a prick and deal with whatever consequences may arise. You sound like you might take the prick route.
 
What exactly is your beef with the census? To what are you capitulating? Being a statistic? The allocation of funds to your municipality?
 
Just remember that a census worker will NEVER ask to come in to your house. I keep reading about fake census workers coming into peoples houses, taking inventory of their crap and robbing them later.
 
How can I get rid of these census workers from bothering me? And no, I will not capitulate or give them any information.

Next time they send a census worker to the door just start masturbating in front of them. I've never tried it myself as I'm not as petty and irrationally indignant as you appear to be but they will probably leave you alone, but then you'll have to deal with the cops. Post a new thread when that happens and we'll go from there.
 
  • Like
Reactions: high risk
A couple of months ago apparently Census forms were sent out. Probably due to the sheer amount of junk mail I get it probably was sent straight to the trash. Anyway, a few weeks later a dorky Asian guy shows up at my APT (and I really value my privacy) telling me I never filled out the census. Immediately he starts asking me about my name, phone number, how many people live in my house, how many toilers there are here and even my income. Strangely enough he was also holding a GPS (!!?). I tell him that I value my privacy and that the only thing I will tell him is how many people live in this house (2) and that he can be on his way. He then begins to threaten me saying that for every question I do not answer I can be fined $100 up to a maximum of $5000, to which I kindly replied by closing the door on him.

I thought I was done with that, but just to be sure I called my landlord and told him not to let in any census workers if they chose to come back and he said that's totally fine and dandy.

Thinking this whole matter is over, to my surprise I come home to find a slip slipped under my door saying a census worker has come to my place and I wasn't home but they require that I call them as soon as I get a chance. I talked to my landlord and said they had a legal right to enter and was sorry but had to let the census worker in.

Being pissed off with all this bullshit I call the census office and tell them to leave me alone. My exact words were: "Don't send anyone to my private property, is that understood?" To which the guy replied: we take threats very seriously here sir, you do realize you just called a Federal Office? Furthermore, he claimed that every US Citizen is required by law to answer the census, to which I quipped, "How do you know I'm a legal immigrant?" to which he gave me a 'hmm, that's interesting' type of answer. We ended the conversation with him saying he will continue sending census workers to my front door.

What turned into a minor annoyance may have just placed me on Big Sis' terror list and the INS might be coming to my door.

How can I get rid of these census workers from bothering me? And no, I will not capitulate or give them any information.

You think we don't read WickedFire? We know exactly who you are -- the guy furiously trying to hide the fleshlight out on the table from Agent Tsang.

If necessary, Agent Tsang will return and shit in all of your toilets in order to verify their functionality. We can do this the easy way -- or the hard way.

We will accept the answers to our stipulated questions via PM, or you can just post them on this thread seeing your actions have ensured we will put you on the list of citizens who's complete information will be accidentally leaked as a torrent anyway.

Thank you for your cooperation.
 
step 1) buy a copy of J.J. Luna's "How to be invisible"
step 2) realize you probably don't actually want to live in a RV on leased land moving often just to be 'off the grid'
step 3) take from this book that NOT CALLING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF is a good fucking idea. And you've just done exactly the opposite.
step 4) enjoy your audit.
 
I'm with you blu. Fuck those guys. This year all the states are in such high competition for federal funds they've resorted to using IRS style tactics to get what they want. I don't know the exact legalities but they've told a friend of mine who was on his way to work when they showed up (refused to answer due to his rush) that they were going to send the cops to his work to arrest him for not answering the census questions.

Everyone had the same answer all the guys above had when the IRS started collecting their "donations". It's the patriotic thing to do, it helps our country, its not a big deal just do it... Fuck that look where it got us. Now we have a giant bully we can't get rid of constantly breathing down our necks stealing our lunch money. I refuse to let the census become the same thing.

Does anyone know if it really is a crime to not fill out the census or are they just shitting us to get compliance? I've even heard of them telling people they have a right to enter your house and search it if you don't answer the questions.
 
Last edited:
income is not a question on the census. There are like 10 questions, and 5 of them are related to being Spanish. Just answer the fucking thing
 
It's the principle of the matter. Also, the census offices are decentralized and ask different questions based on whatever they feel like is important in specific areas.
 
I'm with you blu. Fuck those guys. This year all the states are in such high competition for federal funds they've resorted to using IRS style tactics to get what they want. I don't know the exact legalities but they've told a friend of mine who was on his way to work when they showed up (refused to answer due to his rush) that they were going to send the cops to his work to arrest him for not answering the census questions.

Everyone had the same answer all the guys above had when the IRS started collecting their "donations". It's the patriotic thing to do, it helps our country, its not a big deal just do it... Fuck that look where it got us. Now we have a giant bully we can't get rid of constantly breathing down our necks stealing our lunch money. I refuse to let the census become the same thing.

Does anyone know if it really is a crime to not fill out the census or are they just shitting us to get compliance?

I trashed mine as well. I think it states right on the forms that it is voluntary. However they brow beat you with how much it will benefit your community, ad naseum.

To me all they need to know is "Yes I live here". And yes two others do as well. That's all they need to count the number of people in a community. However the government can do this all easily enough from other government sources without wasting mine/your time with all of this BS.