Do you or will you spank your children?
- Thread starter dreamache
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I'm not too interested in teaching my kids that violence is an acceptable way to solve any problem beyond someone acting violently towards them. I don't even raise my voice when I'm angry with them.
As a result of keeping my tone measured, the slightest hardening of it is a cause for great concern for them, and I can get them inline without ever raising my voice or raising my hand.
Also, I routinely beat the hell out of other people's children in front of them, so they appreciate how good they actually have it.
As a result of keeping my tone measured, the slightest hardening of it is a cause for great concern for them, and I can get them inline without ever raising my voice or raising my hand.
Also, I routinely beat the hell out of other people's children in front of them, so they appreciate how good they actually have it.
Of course not, there's no need because they are very obedient when I let them out of the cage once in a while.
I wasn't spanked as child UNLESS I did something really stupid like try to grab a pot off the stove or run into traffic. I got a swat on the butt a few times for things like that, but I don't think I ever tried that shit again as a result.
I don't believe in any type of spanking or hitting as a regular discipline, but kids can find ways to do stupid and dangerous stuff, even when you watch them like a hawk, so a spank on those occasions can be warranted in my book. I'd much rather try to sit them down and explain why they can't do something, instead of swatting their butt.
All that being said, our kids are really good and well behaved because we take the time to talk and discuss things. I don't foresee it being an issue in the future.
I don't believe in any type of spanking or hitting as a regular discipline, but kids can find ways to do stupid and dangerous stuff, even when you watch them like a hawk, so a spank on those occasions can be warranted in my book. I'd much rather try to sit them down and explain why they can't do something, instead of swatting their butt.
All that being said, our kids are really good and well behaved because we take the time to talk and discuss things. I don't foresee it being an issue in the future.
if a child does somethign too hardcore ill span.
i think logic doesnt work with children and theres nothign wrong with that - as long as u control the power.
i think logic doesnt work with children and theres nothign wrong with that - as long as u control the power.
One smack on the hand if they were really bad. That's all I ever had to do (3 kids, youngest one is now 6). And it had to be some stupid shit, like chew on an electrical cord plugged in the wall, or take a blindside run at the little brother.
Carry them to their room when they had tantrums. Ooooh, they didn't like that. None of them threw tantrums after the age of 4.
But those were my kids. I've seen the behaviour of some other kids, especially those kids raised by a single Mom with guilt issues so she won't discipline the kid. Some of them really needed a good spanking, in my opinion.
Mind you, I think a lot of the parents with the kids who needed spankings ALSO needed a good backhand to the side of the head. I am thinking of a few in-laws right now...
Carry them to their room when they had tantrums. Ooooh, they didn't like that. None of them threw tantrums after the age of 4.
But those were my kids. I've seen the behaviour of some other kids, especially those kids raised by a single Mom with guilt issues so she won't discipline the kid. Some of them really needed a good spanking, in my opinion.
Mind you, I think a lot of the parents with the kids who needed spankings ALSO needed a good backhand to the side of the head. I am thinking of a few in-laws right now...
No need. If she acts up, I quietly ask her if she'd like to sleep in the shed. She immediately starts behaving.
Fear > Violence when it comes to keeping children in line.
Fear > Violence when it comes to keeping children in line.
I think it could be useful to not spank them directly... What I mean is, my toddler will do something wrong and to correct him I will indirectly show him that x stimulus will create y negative response. This could be something simple, like a timeout. This creates patterns and very quickly change in behavior. He hates timeouts, I did too. Indirect suggestion is very useful in parenting I have found out. Another example would be at bed time. I can very easily get him to sleep when I take his teddy bear and tell my son it's time to tuck teddy in... He is almost immediately anchored with knowing it's time for him too to get ready for bed. Works great.
I have only rarely had to strike my son, now 16.
But that's because I HAVE, and he knows I WILL should he cross the CLEARLY defined lines of acceptable behavior.
That's the key- CLEAR rules that NEVER change, but...When diplomacy fails...
But that's because I HAVE, and he knows I WILL should he cross the CLEARLY defined lines of acceptable behavior.
That's the key- CLEAR rules that NEVER change, but...When diplomacy fails...
Read a good book on disciplining, i think 1-2-3 magic or something, that said spanking is almost always a result of the parent throwing a tantrum and losing control, which I believe to be true. Oldest is 4 and I've never spanked my kids, but I don't necessarily think there aren't any circumstances where it might be appropriate, just that those would be very very rare.
I don't have kids, but I'm with efreezy. If your 3yo is shoving a screwdriver in an electric outlet, then a swift slap on the ass is warranted, and the best way to get it through to them to not do that.
For the most part though, nah, not needed.
For the most part though, nah, not needed.
i try to spank by almost 2 yr old daughter but i dont hit her hard enough so she just laughs at me
i guess deep down i dont have it in me
i guess deep down i dont have it in me
Hitting/shaking/squeezing a child is pathetic. I'd never hit or spank. Maybe a light spanking for a young child who did something dangerous.
The most important thing is consistency and fairness. Children are excellent judges of character and will quickly lose respect for someone who isn't just and fair.
The most important thing is consistency and fairness. Children are excellent judges of character and will quickly lose respect for someone who isn't just and fair.
Here's some facts about spanking, which research has shown..
- 90% of parents still spank/have spanked.
- Parents are more likely to spank when they're angry, irritable, depressed, fatigued, and stressed. 44% of those surveyed, corporal punishemtn was used 50% of the time because the parent had "lost it".
- Approx. 85% of parents expressed moderate to high anger, remorse and agitation while punishing their children, thus challenging the notion that parents can spank in a calm, planned manner.
- There's a 93% agreement in scientific studies that spanking is harmful to children. Spanking leads to more antisocial behavior in childhood, and increased aggression, spousal abuse, and child abuse in adulthood. That's not to say that everyone who spanks is a spousal abuser, but there's a very strong correlation that it leads to an increase risk.
- One study shows that disciplining children via spanking puts them at risk for becoming aggressive, antisocial, and chronically defiant, which makes sense since in so many cases, spanking continues for years.
- Children who are spanked and slapped are twice as likely to develop alcohol addiction and other drug abuse problems.
- A study at McMaster University in Canada found that spanking and slapping children is linked to increased rates of anxiety disorders, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, anti social behavior, and to some extent, depression.
- Spanking by parents can significantly damage a child's mental abilities and results in a lower IQ later in life, suggests a study by researchers at the University of New Hampshire.
Molyneux elaborates on these points more in this vid:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg]The Facts About Spanking - YouTube[/ame]
Sources:
AAP Policy
http://www.stopspanking.com/#Statistics You Need to
Spanking is harmful for kids' intelligence: Study | The Money Times
Repeal 43 Committee | Research
Elizabeth Gershoff weighs in on the negative effects of spanking « Know
Spanking lowers a child's IQ, researcher says | Booster Shots | Los Angeles Times
The Fallacies of Pro-Spanking Science: A Point-by-Point Rebuttal to the Apologetics of Two Pediatricians
http://www.neverhitachild.org/unspar1.html
http://nospank.net/straus15.pdf
The Center for Effective Discipline
"I Was Spanked And I'm Fine!" - The Natural Child Project
Spanking Debate: Do Spanked Kids Have Lower IQs? - TIME
So when I get into these debates (which have been with my own brother/family), it's interesting to see them squirm when I point out these facts. They've referred to these studies as "propaganda", as if there's some sort of incentive for researchers to lie, wat? But it's understandable, who would easily/readily admit they've possibly increased the risk of 11+ measurable negative behaviors in their children?
- 90% of parents still spank/have spanked.
- Parents are more likely to spank when they're angry, irritable, depressed, fatigued, and stressed. 44% of those surveyed, corporal punishemtn was used 50% of the time because the parent had "lost it".
- Approx. 85% of parents expressed moderate to high anger, remorse and agitation while punishing their children, thus challenging the notion that parents can spank in a calm, planned manner.
- There's a 93% agreement in scientific studies that spanking is harmful to children. Spanking leads to more antisocial behavior in childhood, and increased aggression, spousal abuse, and child abuse in adulthood. That's not to say that everyone who spanks is a spousal abuser, but there's a very strong correlation that it leads to an increase risk.
- One study shows that disciplining children via spanking puts them at risk for becoming aggressive, antisocial, and chronically defiant, which makes sense since in so many cases, spanking continues for years.
- Children who are spanked and slapped are twice as likely to develop alcohol addiction and other drug abuse problems.
- A study at McMaster University in Canada found that spanking and slapping children is linked to increased rates of anxiety disorders, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, anti social behavior, and to some extent, depression.
- Spanking by parents can significantly damage a child's mental abilities and results in a lower IQ later in life, suggests a study by researchers at the University of New Hampshire.
Molyneux elaborates on these points more in this vid:
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONNRfflggBg]The Facts About Spanking - YouTube[/ame]
Sources:
AAP Policy
http://www.stopspanking.com/#Statistics You Need to
Spanking is harmful for kids' intelligence: Study | The Money Times
Repeal 43 Committee | Research
Elizabeth Gershoff weighs in on the negative effects of spanking « Know
Spanking lowers a child's IQ, researcher says | Booster Shots | Los Angeles Times
The Fallacies of Pro-Spanking Science: A Point-by-Point Rebuttal to the Apologetics of Two Pediatricians
http://www.neverhitachild.org/unspar1.html
http://nospank.net/straus15.pdf
The Center for Effective Discipline
"I Was Spanked And I'm Fine!" - The Natural Child Project
Spanking Debate: Do Spanked Kids Have Lower IQs? - TIME
So when I get into these debates (which have been with my own brother/family), it's interesting to see them squirm when I point out these facts. They've referred to these studies as "propaganda", as if there's some sort of incentive for researchers to lie, wat? But it's understandable, who would easily/readily admit they've possibly increased the risk of 11+ measurable negative behaviors in their children?
It's understandable. Who would like to admit that your own children don't respect you. That's what it comes down to of course. Children are also capable of knowing the difference between fear and respect.